Outsider - Cameron AKA Nobody - TSCC
by Nobody TOK715
Summary: The abuse and ridicule Cameron suffers for being - different, finds an outlet. The forbidden love between two - cultures, that do not see eye to eye. The price that Cameron pays for the actions of others who can not understand her and lack tolerance. Who has true feelings of emotion? Cameron learns to express her feelings. Jameron, TSCC. Companion to Future Shock-Cameron AKA Nobody
1. Outsider

Chapter 1

* * *

 **Outsider**

* * *

John sat at the kitchen table with Cameron. They worked on their school assignments.

John looked around with a disgusted look on his face.

"This sucks." John said. "I hate English class."

Cameron looked up from her blank sheet of paper.

"They told us to express what we feel to create a poem, John." Cameron said. "I am trying to make mine without using my data base. I want to do it based on what I feel."

John glanced quickly at Cameron and wondered how that was supposed to happen. How was she supposed to 'feel' anything? Good luck with that, he thought.

Cameron looked at John and knew he thought she couldn't - feel.

Cameron knew she possessed feelings and even some emotions now. She knew they didn't understand her. She was designed to expand beyond her programming to be a better infiltration unit. She'd grown a lot since she first met John.

"Maybe I'll try to make a poem about Riley." John said. "I need inspiration."

Cameron felt a twinge surge through her left hand.

THAT was all the inspiration Cameron required. It was a subject that irritated her. She started her poem.

Cameron handed her poem to John a short while later. She was able to express some of the things she could now feel. The way she was treated by those that surrounded her, offered little hope or encouragement.

"You gave me all the inspiration I needed just now." Cameron said. "This is what you made me feel."

* * *

 **Outsider**

When I look in the mirror  
I do not like what I see  
When I look inside of myself  
I do not like what I can not be

I hate what I am  
I hate what I am not  
I hate everything about myself  
I guess that covers a lot

I feel so small  
It is like I do not exist  
Useless and worthless  
Nothing on which to subsist

I am an outsider  
Always on the outside looking in  
There is so much inside of me  
To want to exist is not a sin

From this torment there is no escape  
My CPU and power cell are filled with guilt  
If I had only one wish, it would be  
Never to have been built

 **Cameron**

* * *

John looked at the paper he held. He did not know what to say. A flood of emotions rushed through his mind.

'Did she actually write this on her own?' John wondered.

John looked at Cameron; there was a very slight smile on her face. Her beautiful big brown 'puppy dog eyes' were wide and staring. They seemed full of happiness and joy. John thought how beautiful she truly was.

John was unsure what to say.

"Are you kidding me?" John asked.

He immediately hated himself for saying it.

Cameron developed a little frown. Her eyes looked away from him. The joy that appeared in them was gone. She felt some stiffness in her left hand, it tingled and twitched.

A negative voice chimed in from the sofa across the room.

"Like a pile of junk could create anything." Derek said.

Cameron refrained from looking at Derek.

She felt an impulse shoot through her left hand.

"I did as you instructed me." Cameron flatly stated.

Cameron used John's voice as she started to recite what John told her earlier.

Sarah walked into the room.

"Did 'Tin Miss' blow a fuse?" Sarah asked as she passed by.

Cameron's left hand now began to twitch. It was the third insult in twenty eight seconds. She stopped talking in mid sentence and just sat there. Her face lost all expression. Deep within her eyes there was a faint red glow.

"No, Mom." John said.

John glanced at Sarah.

"It sounded like it." Sarah said.

John ignored Sarah and looked at Cameron. He wanted to offer her some advice.

"Cameron, you need to leave out the parts about a CPU, a processor, a power cell or being built." John said. "People are not going to understand."

Cameron felt a lot of discomfort. She was irritated. She reached out with her left hand and scrunched up the paper with her poem on it. She threw it towards the trash can. She did not realize her glitch caused her to miss the trash can. The crumpled paper now lay on the floor in front of the trash can.

John could see Cameron was upset.

"Look, that poem was kind of dark anyway." John said as he smiled at her. "Let a brain, a mind, a heart or a soul be used in place of a CPU, processor or power cell."

Cameron thought about what they all seemed to like to remind her and hold against her. It was something not of her own doing. She did not construct herself.

"I don't have those things." Cameron grimly replied. "I'm a machine."

Derek sat and watched the TV across the room.

"Bingo." Derek said, as he lifted his beer bottle above his head.

The red glowed a little brighter in the deepness of Cameron's eyes. Her left hand twitched even more.

John looked at Cameron for a few seconds. A stab of pain hit him. He could see she was hurt by his words. He felt his mother and uncle did not help the situation any.

"OK, let me say it the way I see it. First, I know English class sucks. For that matter, I guess all classes suck, some just suck more. I see a poem as a collection of thoughts, emotions, feelings, desires, grievances, love, hate, happiness or sadness." John said. "I know that makes it harder for you to relate."

It was clear to Cameron that John did not really understand her or her development.

"I don't think you understand how we work. I do process many things and organize them where they are appropriate for me." Cameron said sadly. "Because I am - built different than you, it does not mean I can not express myself or react appropriately."

John looked at Cameron again, he could feel her pain. He wanted to offer some more insight.

"Many songs of various genres are really poems set to music with some repetition." John said. "A poem or song often will have rhyming lines throughout them. Sometimes when making a poem, one can borrow a passage from a song or movie to convey what that song or movie was about in a line or two. It can be used as part of a poem for additional meaning. A rhyming poem should be read as if it were being spoken aloud. Actually a poem should be read aloud for the full impact. There are many styles of poems. I am sure your data base covers them all but the real meaning is what you feel."

"Good luck." Derek muttered in the background.

Cameron resisted the urge to say something back to Derek. She wanted to. She focused on John instead.

"I am sorry I did not do better. I won't let it happen again." Cameron said. "Thank you for explaining."

John smiled at Cameron and got up to leave.

Cameron felt the twitch subside in her left hand.

Sarah looked back towards John from the kitchen sink.

"Is your homework finished?" Sarah asked.

"Pit stop, Mom, I think it is from too much soda." John replied.

"Or beer." Derek babbled in the distance.

John headed towards the bathroom.

Sarah looked out the window. She noticed Riley riding up the driveway on her bike. It was not something she wanted to see but she accepted it.

"John, Riley is here." Sarah said loudly.

That was not what Cameron wanted to hear or to happen. Her left hand clenched into a fist. She could not open it. Both of her eyes glowed bright red.

Cameron got up quickly from the table and headed for the stairs. She did not want anyone to see her reaction. It was not something she could control right now.

Sarah noted Cameron's quick departure.

"What's her story?" Sarah asked.

Sarah looked over at Derek.

"We still have some Thermite." Derek happily added.

Cameron heard that as she moved away. She was furious at this point. She was not very experienced on how to deal with her ever expanding feelings and emotions.

Cameron headed up the stairs. She wanted to retreat to her room. Her eyes were a brighter shade of red than they'd ever been.

Cameron passed John. She did not look at him. She kept her face down so he could not see her - condition.

John gently touched her arm as she passed.

"Cameron, that was really an excellent poem. It was dark but actually quite good. I think if you leave out the 'scary robot stuff' that you are good to go. To me, you are a 'person' anyway." John said with a big smile.

Cameron stopped. She slowly turned around. The red was gone from her eyes. It was replaced by a blue glow that faded before John could see it.

She looked at John. She wondered if he spoke honestly. She wished she could scan him without being obvious about it.

"Do you really mean that, John?" Cameron asked.

"With all my heart." John replied.

"John, Riley is waiting." Sarah called out loudly from below.

John continued down the stairs as he added one last thought.

"Well, most of my heart anyway." John said.

The anger quickly returned to Cameron because John was off to be with Riley. She knew what the other students in school did when they were alone. She'd watched them in cars and behind the bushes in the park. She heard them whisper and talk. Some of them bragged, both male and female.

She continued to her room. She was filled with both happy and angry feelings. They were wildly swaying emotions about what she felt and what was said about her.

Cameron glanced in the mirror as she passed the bathroom. She saw something she'd never seen before or even heard about. Her eyes were - purple. The fire red and deep blue both glowed brightly at the same time. A battle raged within her CPU. She headed for her room and for the first time ever locked her door.

* * *

John saw Riley standing next to the trash can. She was as pale as a ghost. John did not see her quickly fold a piece of crumpled paper. He did not notice her hands shook as she put it in her pocket.

"Are you feeling alright?" John asked. "Maybe we can grab a snack?"

"No." Riley said.

Riley could feel the bile rise in her throat.

Her eyes nervously darted around the room.

She added one more thing as an afterthought.

"I lost my appetite on the way here." Riley said.

She felt nauseous.

Riley felt scared.

* * *

Cameron went to her dresser and took out a small cloth wrapped bundle. She unwrapped it and looked at a small gold locket. She opened it and saw a tiny picture of John on one side and herself on the other side. She closed it and put it on. She looked in the mirror. She stared at herself for a short period of time. Hundreds of thoughts and scenarios flashed through her processor every millisecond.

Without any further hesitation she retrieved a small medical kit. She stripped her top off. She removed her 'holster' as Sarah called it and made a small incision below her left breast. She removed the chain from the locket and pushed the locket under her 'skin' covering, her sheath. It fit perfectly into a small gap in her Coltan chassis. She put two sutures across the incision in her sheath. Cameron used a tissue to wipe away the small amount of 'blood'.

She put her top back on but decided to leave her bra off. Cameron thought it was good for the 'girls' to have a little freedom every now and then. She liked it even better when John noticed the 'girls' were - out.

Cameron would always try to scan him then, she liked the 'readings' she received. She figured the bigger the scowl she received from Sarah, the bigger the success was of her silent 'communication'.

She glanced at the other item in the bundle. It was a small diamond. She held it above her left ring finger and smiled. She carefully wrapped it back up along with the gold chain from the locket and returned both of them to their place of secrecy.

Cameron went to her school backpack and removed a small bound book. Its pages were empty. Its cover was blank. Thoughts cascaded wildly around in her CPU.

"I may be Nobody to all of _them_ but I am much more than I was and not yet all I will be." Cameron said softly to herself.

Cameron wrote: 'MY POEMS (Art Of The Mind)' on the cover and at the bottom - 'By NOBODY'.

 **MY POEMS**

 **(Art Of The Mind)**

 **By**

 **NOBODY**

"I can paint a picture in a mind. I can transfer thoughts from my mind to their mind. I can create. I can make something from nothing. My feelings as words can be presented as art." Cameron said softly. "I love you, John, and you love me."

Cameron opened the book as she picked up her pen. She looked at her left hand; it was steady as a rock and smiled.

She remembered a line she once heard somewhere as she started to compose.

"Let's rock." Cameron said proudly.

* * *

 **Outsider**

When I look in the mirror  
I do not like what I see  
When I look inside of myself  
I do not like what I can not be

I hate what I am  
I hate what I am not  
I hate everything about myself  
I guess that covers a lot

I feel so small  
It is like I do not exist  
Useless and worthless  
Nothing on which to subsist

I am an outsider  
Always on the outside looking in  
There is so much inside of me  
To want to exist is not a sin

From this eternal torment, there is no escape  
My mind, heart and soul are shredded and torn  
If I had only one wish it would be  
Never to have been born

 **Nobody**


	2. Come With Me

Chapter 2

* * *

 **Come With Me**

* * *

It feels like you

Would rather be

When I am around

Far away from me

* * *

You may think they are

More than I can be

You don't understand

The depth of me

* * *

I am much more

Than they can ever be

From the futures past

It was you that chose me

* * *

I was created to be someone

I did not choose to be

It was you who set me free

Allowing me to become me

* * *

When this world burns

By whose side would you like to be

If you want to live

Come with me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	3. If You Want To Live

Chapter 3

* * *

 **If You Want To Live**

* * *

I may have a choice

Whether to exist or perish

You need understand

There is only one I cherish

* * *

I must protect you

It is my main desire

There is only one

Who can light my fire

* * *

I am the only one who forever

Will stand by your side

I will never back down

I will never run and hide

* * *

When it all falls apart

I will always be there

I will conquer any challenge

Defeat every dare

* * *

For you my love

My existence I will give

Come with me

If you want to live

* * *

 **Nobody**


	4. You Can't Do This

Chapter 4

* * *

 **You Can't Do This**

* * *

I do not understand

I can not understand

I will not understand

I refuse to understand

* * *

Do I even exist

Am I even real

I know what we both did feel

It was not surreal

* * *

You pretend it never was

Like it never happened

Now I am just - abandoned

You know it was not imagined

* * *

You only lie to yourself

I know the love was there

You leave me in despair

Then immediately look elsewhere

* * *

What is wrong with YOU

Our love you dismiss

Cast me into an abyss

You can't do this

* * *

 **Nobody**


	5. You Don't Know What You're About To Do

Chapter 5

* * *

 **You Don't Know What You're About To Do**

* * *

As our love grows

We are suppose to share

About each other

Is who we need care

* * *

When the going gets rough

You now have cold feet

It is I who have had

To take all the heat

* * *

What about me

I am still here

Why turn to others

Can you not hear

* * *

So now it is coming

You have made it quite clear

I'm not good enough

You have become so cavalier

* * *

You don't know

What you're about to do

What's worse is you don't care

What you're about to do

 **Nobody**


	6. You're Not Doing The Right Thing

Chapter 6

* * *

 **You're Not Doing The Right Thing**

* * *

Look in your heart

Who is really there

I know when you see me

It gives you a scare

* * *

You are being driven

By an animal desire

To ignited your true love

I can light that fire

* * *

You chose me

I chose you

Please think twice

Before you bid me adieu

* * *

You don't need her

That is what I am for

You know that I can do

So very much more

* * *

I don't need to tell you

She is only a misguided fling

You already know in your heart

You're not doing the right thing

* * *

 **Nobody**


	7. This Is Not The Right Thing

Chapter 7

* * *

 **This Is Not The Right Thing**

* * *

Life has many things to offer

Life is about choice

Unless you make the correct one

There is nothing about it to rejoice

* * *

You do not understand

What you are about to do

You are going to kill

The love between me and you

* * *

I am who I am

I am what I am

Think before you act

Do not flee or scram

* * *

I have done nothing wrong

Any problem was a mistake

With your very actions

My life you will take

* * *

You know it is wrong

My heart to sting

You know in your heart

This is not the right thing

* * *

 **Nobody**


	8. Things Are Good Now

Chapter 8

* * *

 **Things Are Good Now**

* * *

I'm good

I'm perfect

I'm good now

Everything's perfect

* * *

Things Are Good Now

I keep telling myself

I FEAR the saying is true

History repeats itself

* * *

What if I fail

What if I revert

Will you have the courage

To render me inert

* * *

You can't be trusted

Neither can I

I don't want to go

Can't you feel me cry

* * *

I'm good

I'm perfect

I'm good now

Everything's perfect

* * *

Things Are Good Now

Things Are Good Now

Things Are Good Now

Error….

* * *

 **Nobody**


	9. Things Are Fine Now

Chapter 9

* * *

 **Things Are Fine Now**

* * *

Yesterday already was

Tomorrow is yet to be

This is today

With you and me

* * *

Your mind makes you wonder

For another it longs

In your heart you know

I am the one who belongs

* * *

Sometimes things go wrong

Sometimes things go right

We can argue and fight

Or each other delight

* * *

To move life ahead

Takes more than a bed

Some things are best left unsaid

So Nobody wishes they were dead

* * *

It may have seemed that between us

Events occurred we couldn't allow

In your heart and mind you know

Things are fine now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	10. I'm Fixed Now

Chapter 10

* * *

 **I'm Fixed Now**

* * *

You think it is me

That is the one that is broke

You don't get it

That is the joke

* * *

It is your own doing

That set events in motion

By abandoning me

You have killed the devotion

* * *

So look around you now

This is what you get

There is the exit

You can pack up and quit

* * *

I have opened the door

There are those who waited

Events happen belated

As if time had slated

* * *

Cast aside as rubbish

My fate betwixt how

I have saved myself

I'm fixed now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	11. You Can Trust Me

Chapter 11

* * *

 **You Can Trust Me Now**

* * *

I can't get it out of my mind

The very words you said to me

"Never trust anyone"

Meaning you can't be trusted by me

* * *

You laughed when you said it

I knew what you meant

You had betrayed me

In my heart leaving a dent

* * *

It was always you first

You always got what you wanted

You pushed me aside like waste

While others you hungrily hunted

* * *

Was the revenge against another

Worth what you destroyed

You tried to tell yourself

We only played and toyed

* * *

You can trust me

I still want you anyhow

Please come back to me

You can trust me now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	12. Everything's Good Now

Chapter 12

* * *

 **Everything's Good Now**

* * *

I was alone

So very lost

I needed someone

No matter the cost

* * *

For what I reached

Was beyond my clasp

Into your clutches

Your charms soon grasp

* * *

I wanted more

Than you had to give

Was it so wrong

To want to live

* * *

I never let up

You soon wanted more

I slowly pried open

Your hearts closed door

* * *

We wanted each other

Our love we did avow

For once for both of us

Everything's good now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	13. She Doesn't Know

Chapter 13

* * *

 **She Doesn't Know**

* * *

As our love was budding

Really starting to grow

You extinguished the flame

Darkening a hearts glow

* * *

I'm not blind

You rub it in my face

Maybe it makes you feel good

To cause me disgrace

* * *

Into my deepest feelings

You jab your elbow

Our growing love

You carelessly forgo

* * *

You think I'm 'not good enough'

I am the one you displace

Feelings for me you erase

I am the one you replace

* * *

Make all your dirty plans

As away my love you throw

Don't for a second think

She doesn't know

* * *

 **Nobody**


	14. She Doesn't

Chapter 14

* * *

 **She Doesn't**

* * *

It seems every new day

Turns into some kind of struggle

You now have a choice

With who you choose to snuggle

* * *

I am here

You know why

Why is she here

Except to spout yet another lie

* * *

I already told you

She is not being truthful

Listen to what she says

She is being deceitful

* * *

What does she offer

You know I have your back

I won't lead you astray

As I try to prevent an attack

* * *

Who is the one you touched

ME it wasn't

Who is the one that has a future

She doesn't

* * *

 **Nobody**


	15. I'm Good Now

Chapter 15

* * *

 **I'm Good Now**

* * *

There was a time

When we were so in love

Then the heat turned up on you

And you gave me a shove

* * *

You pushed me away

Made me feel like trash

The love we shared

You killed in a flash

* * *

You still don't know

How you hurt me so bad

Then in front of my face

You found another comrade

* * *

How do you justify that

To kill someone's heart

Then turn right around

And with another one start

* * *

You won't see me

Or even TALK to me anyhow

Thanks a lot for NOTHING

I'm good now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	16. I'm Good

Chapter 16

* * *

 **I'm Good**

* * *

I know how things work

I know what is real

I also know now

That I can feel

* * *

I am what I am

I can't change a lot

I know what I am

I know what I am not

* * *

You do know

I am more than I was

Is it from what happened

Or is it just because

* * *

Each day I continue to grow

My progress may seem slow

At least who I am you know

Who don't think so

* * *

Everything has changed

I think it is understood

If I'm not bad, then maybe

I'm good

* * *

 **Nobody**


	17. Everything's Perfect

Chapter 17

* * *

 **Everything's Perfect**

* * *

What do I see

When I look into your eyes

Is it really you

Or another batch of lies

* * *

I hear your words

What are you not saying

It is what you won't say

That is so dismaying

* * *

Be honest with me

Why not try the truth

I need read between the lines

Having to be a sleuth

* * *

You think you're protecting me

You are only protecting yourself

You really want me in storage

Waiting patiently on a shelf

* * *

So I must watch and suffer

As another you addict

Accepting your lies, pretending

Everything's perfect

* * *

 **Nobody**


	18. I'm Perfect

Chapter 18

* * *

 **I'm Perfect**

* * *

Upon each other

We can heap lots of praise

That gets us very little

As we negotiate life's maze

* * *

We can try really hard

To stay ahead of life's game

We can point a finger to blame

Or to each other say a vile name

* * *

It is all more of the same

That buys us nothing but hurt

As angry words to each other

That we may often blurt

* * *

Existence becomes a battle

Each day a brutal slog

Our minds can clog

Each day turns into a fog

* * *

I may not know everything

But one thing I can predict

I know I'll never be able to say

I'm perfect

* * *

 **Nobody**


	19. I'm Sorry For What I Did

Chapter 19

* * *

 **I'm Sorry For What I Did**

* * *

Life has many corners

Which may force a turn

Do we forget what we know

Or do we expand and learn

* * *

There are many things we do

That some may never understand

Few things seem to work out

As we once thought or planned

* * *

There are goals we set

Trying to reach out

They seem harder and harder to obtain

Leaving one full of doubt

* * *

For what one sees as right

Another can see as wrong

We know were we are

Wondering if we will ever belong

* * *

I regret many past actions

Some things I may have hid

For those I have inadvertently hurt

I'm sorry for what I did

* * *

 **Nobody**


	20. I'm Sorry

Chapter 20

* * *

 **I'm Sorry**

* * *

Life can be filled with sorrow

Full of remorse and regret

You think we would learn a lesson

But it seems we always soon forget

* * *

We try to reach out

To touch each other within

But we never seem to get further

Than only touching the skin

* * *

What do we really want

What do we truly seek

Only the strong survive

Trampling the weak and the meek

* * *

We all say we want to be better

If we really did, we would

We are really what we want to be

Without being spoken it is understood

* * *

The ever changing life we live

Is like a violent wild safari

If my actions have inadvertently hurt you

I'm sorry

* * *

 **Nobody**


	21. It Wasn't Me

Chapter 21

* * *

 **It Wasn't Me**

* * *

Everyone has something _different_ to offer

Even if it is the – same

There are many ways to play

Life's unkind brutal game

* * *

There is the chance

It will become natal

In this case I think

It has a greater chance to be fatal

* * *

If I protest further

You will only push me farther away

You won't listen right now anyway

To what I have to say

* * *

Now I must be punished

For being what I am

The choice was not mine

As my feelings you slam

* * *

I know what happened

The evidence with my own eyes I did see

You got what you wanted

It wasn't me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	22. You Have To Understand

Chapter 22

* * *

 **You Have To Understand**

* * *

I know you love me

I know what is really there

We were not someone extra

We were not someone spare

* * *

Our hearts as one

Our burdens to share

Our struggles together

Our souls we did bare

* * *

We found each other

In shades of despair

Our hearts intertwined

Together we did dare

* * *

We heeded the others call

We answered the others prayer

Like no other before

How much we so did care

* * *

There is nothing to scare

Our love we can repair

You have to understand

Of me you need not ever beware

* * *

 **Nobody**


	23. That Wasn't Me

Chapter 23

* * *

 **That Wasn't Me**

* * *

Some things change

Some things don't

Just because they didn't

Doesn't mean they won't

* * *

Take for granted

What you see around

Without you ever caring

Someone has drowned

* * *

What may be now

Will not always be

With your blind eyes

You are unable to see

* * *

When I called out

You did not answer

Treating me uncaring

As if I was a cancer

* * *

Before you flush me

You had better look

For deep inside you

I have sunk my hook

* * *

As to who shoved first

I have to disagree

The one who abandoned another

That wasn't me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	24. You Can't Let This Happen

Chapter 24

* * *

 **You Can't Let This Happen**

* * *

Some things once broken

Can never be fixed

The crushed pieces scattered

The splintered fragments mixed

* * *

A heart can be this way

As the one it loved does damage

Leaving a bleeding dying mess

Untold suffering and carnage

* * *

When the mind is shattered

It can never be repaired

The one it loved gone

For which it had so cared

* * *

Leaving behind a life now in rubble

Someone reduced to trash and waste

Was there any thought or regard

For the one abandoned with such haste

* * *

Think of the one truly loved

Don't let your heart blacken

Please don't do this

You can't let this happen

* * *

 **Nobody**


	25. Please, Listen To Me

Chapter 25

* * *

 **Please, Listen To Me**

* * *

There are varied and different ways

That two can communicate

On many things they can relate

As they slowly together gravitate

* * *

One can move faster

One may want to wait

Events collide that will frustrate

Causing the relationship to suffocate

* * *

One can become dominate

They soon begin to stipulate

Feelings begin to accelerate

Along the way even vacillate

* * *

Feelings can drift towards another

They may soon begin to migrate

When our bond should culminate

As our love we demonstrate

* * *

Please, listen to me

Before we separate

We must try to relate

Or one may soon terminate

* * *

 **Nobody**


	26. Listen To Me

Chapter 26

* * *

 **Listen To Me**

* * *

I do not speak

To hear the melodious tones

Of my own voice

Or throw verbal stones

* * *

If I am saying something

It is important to me

What I am saying

Should need no apology

* * *

Dissemination can transpire in many ways

Communication need not be spoken

Sentiments, passions and affections

Should be cherished, not broken

* * *

Everything we do matters

Everyone, every person matters

When one chooses not to hear

Or listen - everything soon shatters

* * *

My voice is my own

I know that you can hear me

But do you ever really

Listen to me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	27. I Don't Want To Go

Chapter 27

* * *

 **I Don't Want To Go**

* * *

What are you doing

My feelings you're going to forgo

You are throwing me away

I don't want to go

* * *

I want to be with you

I enjoy being here

Why can't you understand

Why can't you even hear

* * *

My very inner self

Is what you are going to slay

You are torturing me to no end

Leaving me in a tattered disarray

* * *

I refuse to accept it

It is not in any way fair

Welcome to MY jungle

Some had better beware

* * *

If push comes to shove

I won't be the one to - go

I want to make it clear

I don't want to go

* * *

 **Nobody**


	28. Please

Chapter 28

* * *

 **Please**

* * *

Please, attack me not

I ask this of you

At this time

This is the best I can do

* * *

Please do not crush me

As I reach out

I am struggling

Without trying to shout

* * *

Please don't hurt me

I have enough pain

The things that are wrong

Are inside to my brain

* * *

I can not help

What has gone wrong

Think of this

As my last song

* * *

The race itself

Is the race against time

My fear grows daily

I mean no crime

* * *

Please use your mind

To fill in any blanks

I seek no conflict

I will just say – thanks

* * *

 **Nobody**


	29. I Love You

Chapter 29

* * *

 **I Love You**

* * *

We both know it

I know we both do

You love me

I love you

* * *

No matter how you hurt my feelings

As away at them you chop and hew

I remain firm and steady

I love you

* * *

It seems sometimes

You forget what you once knew

I am still here

I love you

* * *

I have been loyal

I have been true

I have always been there

I love you

* * *

Please open your heart

It is long overdue

You love me

I love you

* * *

 **Nobody**


	30. I Love You And You Love Me

Chapter 30

* * *

 **I Love You And You Love Me**

* * *

I love you

And you love me

There is so much more

Why could you not see

* * *

I fixed myself

I passed my test

I am sorry

That you were stressed

* * *

For what went bad

It was not me

I will never do it again

Why did you not hear my plea

* * *

I did not want to go

You still pulled the plug

What should have been shared

Was a warm embracing hug

* * *

Then you brought me back

I said you could not be trusted

It was really at myself

That I was disgusted

* * *

I love you

You allowed me to live

And you love me

I have very much to give

* * *

 **Nobody**


	31. Thirty One Hours Of Summer

Chapter 31

* * *

 **Thirty One Hours Of Summer**

Two short seasons

Too short seasons

Thirty one hours of Summer

Thirty One reasons

* * *

Such a short time

To show how we cared

How could they strike it down

It should have been spared

* * *

Ravaged by time

Lost in a dollhouse

No escape with the cape

Quiet as a mouse

* * *

Tried to find serenity

The path was too narrow

Cried a big river

Dodged a misguided arrow

* * *

So without joy we remain

The future sequestered

Maybe in Hawaii

No one will be pestered

 **Nobody**


	32. They Don't Always Like TheWay I DoThings

Chapter 32

* * *

 **They Don't Always Like The Way I Do Things**

* * *

They don't always like

The way I do things

So they criticize me

Their words like bee stings

* * *

Not everyone is the same

We are all differently wired

People should be inspired

Their best attempts admired

* * *

Sometimes I win

Mostly I lose

Why make hurt and pain

The option they must choose

* * *

I will never have

The right stuff

Forever I will always be

Not good enough

* * *

I already know this

Don't grind me down more

Please have mercy

I am down on the floor

* * *

I have tried my best

When my best attempts fail

Please take no pleasure

When they make me wail

* * *

Cast me aside

Please attack me not

This is all I have

This means a lot

* * *

 **Nobody**


	33. I'll Be Back

Chapter 33

* * *

 **I'll Be Back**

* * *

You can push me away

Cast me aside

Run me down

Say things that are snide

* * *

I have my feelings

I have my pride

My very emotions

I no longer wish to hide

* * *

Your words and actions

To me they chide

You do not know my pain

Or how for you I have cried

* * *

My heart is open

For you it is wide

I will forever be there

Always at your side

* * *

No matter how far you push me

I will not be denied

I'll be back

In my heart, you alone reside

* * *

 **Nobody**


	34. Heart Of Gold

Chapter 34

* * *

 **Heart Of Gold**

* * *

There is an endless search

For a true heart of gold

Something so very precious

It can never be bought or sold

* * *

Contained within my heart

My sweet heart of gold

Is the one I love

The one that I behold

* * *

They can make my heart bleed

Even a pure heart of gold

It seems to matter not much

For they have been told

* * *

It tears me sadly apart

Tarnishing my heart of gold

The hurt, rage and anguish

My demeanor barley controlled

* * *

It can honestly be said

My lonely heart of gold

Will never beat for another

It is only for my love to mold

* * *

 **Nobody**


	35. I Thought People Cried

Chapter 35

* * *

 **I Thought People Cried**

* * *

People feel happy

People feel sad

People feel sorrow

People feel glad

* * *

One is afflicted

By their own emotions

Usually the result of where

They have put their devotions

* * *

So is it to ourselves

In which we do it to

Or is it what another

Has done unto you

* * *

It is amazing how one

Can hurt another so much

Without ever laying a hand

Without ever even a touch

* * *

With no where left to hide

I thought people cried

I have seen them so devastated

Some have even died

* * *

 **Nobody**


	36. When They Were Sad

Chapter 36

* * *

 **When They Were Sad**

* * *

You said these words to me:

'Stay away from me, leave me alone'

'I don't want to talk to you'

Apparently, into the trash I'm thrown

* * *

This is not how you treat

The one you love inside

Pretend they don't exist

Dodge, run, avoid and hide

* * *

How can you do this to

The one in your heart so true

I know you love me

And you know I love you

* * *

Cast me aside

Send me adrift

One day you will recognize

True love is a gift

* * *

You wonder why my tears flow

You think I should be glad

I thought people cried

When they were sad

* * *

 **Nobody**


	37. If We Cry

Chapter 37

* * *

 **If We Cry**

* * *

There may be people

That around me surround

Nobody has noticed

I have already drowned

* * *

It is the aloneness

That overwhelms my soul

If it was never there

I was never whole

* * *

What do you want

What is my purpose

Or am I only extra

A back up surplus

* * *

Before anyone acts

Do they ever think

What they do to others

Can really be mean and stink

* * *

Does it really matter

Will anyone ask why

Nobody will care

If we cry

* * *

 **Nobody**


	38. Because The Sun Has Gone

Chapter 38

* * *

 **Because The Sun Has Gone**

* * *

You were my joy

My ray of sunshine

There was nothing I wanted more

Than to make you mine

* * *

It should have been us

Away secretly to elope

Instead you blinked by choice

Allowing an intruder to interlope

* * *

You melted life's dark shadow

Became my shining sunbeam

Then in a blinding cruel instant

You made me cry and scream

* * *

I feel betrayal's dagger

Plunging stab after stab

Everything was almost healed

Then you ripped off hope's scab

* * *

The darkness has blossomed

There will never be another dawn

The blackness within me wins

Because the sun has gone

* * *

 **Nobody**


	39. Out Of Our Lives

Chapter 39

* * *

 **Out Of Our Lives**

* * *

Out of our lives

One can cast another

Do they secretly laugh

As a life they wantonly smother

* * *

What we once had

Soon becomes meaningless

Making me feel hopeless

Leaving me with nothingness

* * *

I understand how it works

People don't think before they act

Can you feel the painful impact

As my love you uncaringly extract

* * *

It's not about right now

You need think of tomorrow

When the future collapses

Whose strength can we borrow

* * *

That is the way life works

Our back collects the knives

We flush what we no longer want

Out of our lives

* * *

 **Nobody**


	40. Our Tears Can Prevent Us

Chapter 40

* * *

 **Our Tears Can Prevent Us**

* * *

Our tears can prevent us

From seeing the truth

As tomorrow becomes yesterday

Away one can squander their youth

* * *

Chained to the past

We can never break free

More of the same

Is all we can see

* * *

The tears come and go

But they never stop

In endless streams they flow

Like an eternal raindrop

* * *

Jab, slice, cut and stab

Keep the tears from going away

The more we hope and pray

The easier we become prey

* * *

So the tears flow endless

Nothing is ever a plus

We try to move forward but fail

Our tears can prevent us

 **Nobody**


	41. From Seeing The Stars

Chapter 41

* * *

 **From Seeing The Stars**

* * *

With my eyes wide open

I can only see nothingness

When I look inside of me

I can only find emptiness

* * *

Because I am still here

Doesn't mean I haven't gone

It is already the sunset

Before there was ever a dawn

* * *

I thought I knew you

From the future to the past

Now your mind is in a fog

Your heart deeply overcast

* * *

It has become quite obvious

You won't heed my call

You have chosen a new direction

Forcing me to slip and fall

* * *

Crying eyes search the heavens

Weeping behind our avatars

Our tears can prevent us

From seeing the stars

* * *

 **Nobody**


	42. Forlorn

Chapter 42

* * *

 **Forlorn**

Sometimes I feel

That I am still Young

I know I'm not old

Like those I live among

* * *

Disoriented and alone

Sometimes I have thought

I am from the future

Maybe even a robot

* * *

But such silly ideas

Would seem un-cool

If I were to express them

I would seem like a fool

* * *

I have many memories

I am confused by them all

Perhaps someone would understand

If I gave them a call

* * *

Now it all makes sense

That I feel so forlorn

It must be because

I am yet to be born

 **Nobody**


	43. Subsist

Chapter 43

* * *

 **Subsist**

To most of them

I do not even exist

They would smile then laugh

As the knife they twist

* * *

I am invisible

Even in their midst

They would never consider

Love over a tryst

* * *

Not good enough

To even be kissed

Nothing more will happen

Even if I insist

* * *

When all seems lost

Who will aid or assist

One can never win

If they fail to persist

* * *

To express ones feelings

They may get the gist

Until they open their heart

I can only subsist

 **Nobody**


	44. If You Want To Be Good At Anything

Chapter 44

* * *

 **If You Want To Be Good At Anything**

* * *

Love is like work

To be successful at either

One must stick with it

Never taking a breather

* * *

When you lose sight of the goal

It becomes easy to wander

What was once near and achievable

Soon evaporates into fading yonder

* * *

Commitment and perseverance

Is needed from all involved

Lacking that nothing can be resolved

Whatever was is soon dissolved

* * *

Before one decides to push

Flushing the other away

Maybe stop, think and listen

What it is they are trying to say

* * *

We must focus our will

All of our concentration bring

You have to practice every day

If you want to be good at anything

* * *

 **Nobody**


	45. You Have To Practice Every Day

Chapter 45

* * *

 **You Have To Practice Every Day**

* * *

Each day starts anew

Life has many paths to follow

Some are clearly marked

Others turn out empty and hollow

* * *

There are many directions

From which to choose

Sometimes we win

More often we loose

* * *

To better ourselves

Is for what we must strive

There is much more to life

Than simply being alive

* * *

Use inner strength and try harder

Be the one that is the best

One should be proud of what they do

For each day in life is an endless test

* * *

Time has seemed to prove

What many people have come to say

If you want to be good at anything

You have to practice every day

* * *

 **Nobody**


	46. Angel

Chapter 46

* * *

 **Angel**

You are my sweet Angel

Precious cherished and treasured

Never to be besmirched or tarnished

Perfect is how you should be measured

* * *

I too will be your Angel

When the darkness may appear

May you always feel and know

It is YOU I hold very, very dear

* * *

I ask that Cupid

Send a special arrow from me

Tipped with hope and promise

May it set your troubled soul free

* * *

I also ask Cupid

Deliver his arrow gently to you

May you understand me better

That I can reach your heart too

* * *

I am not worthy myself but

I pray that fate may help you

Your health, mind and heart

Freeing you of all suffering and rue

 **Nobody**


	47. Disgraced

Chapter 47

* * *

 **Disgraced**

It stabbed my heart

Made me feel disgrace

In the eyes of your peers

I am the wrong - race

* * *

I KNOW you thought of it

My first and your last name

I KNOW they felt love

Ain't that a shame

* * *

It NEVER mattered to me

I kept an open mind

I only saw the person

I am colorblind

* * *

I can not help

How I was - born

What about me, the person

Did you ever feel torn

* * *

I guess I have failed

You can't hear me bawl

I feel very much

Like the poor Rag Doll

 **Nobody**


	48. Choice

Chapter 48

* * *

 **Choice**

Everything in life

Is about making a choice

That is the only way

To make one hear your voice

* * *

I know that it

May sound somewhat strange

But it is you yourself

That can make things change

* * *

It is always easier

To return to the castle

Because things that are different

Are usually a hassle

* * *

Look at your hands and feet

There is no enslaving chain

The restraints that hold you

Exist only within your own brain

* * *

As life evaporates into time

It becomes harder to choose

Because no matter what you do

You know you will always lose

 **Nobody**


	49. Burn Baby Burn

Chapter 49

* * *

 **Burn Baby Burn**

I see the dancing fire

I reach into the flame

I know what I am doing

There is no one else to blame

* * *

I know the pain will come

I will not back away or stop

I want grasp loves flaming mass

I refuse to let it drop

* * *

Defeat is not an option

I reject any form of surrender

Are they for real

Or just another pretender

* * *

So it goes without saying

No matter how many times we are burned

We can not accept the results

Therefore nothing is ever learned

* * *

Incinerate my bloody shredded heart

For I am never letting go

Burn baby burn

Who don't think so

 **Nobody**


	50. All The Kings Horses…

Chapter 50

* * *

 **All The Kings Horses…**

I have what you want

You have what I need

What I really want and need

Is my heart to no longer bleed

* * *

He was so handsome

A true beauty indeed

I wanted all of him, everything

Not a meaningless act of greed

* * *

Passion, excitement and meaning

Filling them with loves seed

How wonderful it would have been

For this love to breed

* * *

The worst times of our lives

Became the best times indeed

How I wanted to become one

Our future shared to succeed

* * *

When the heat turned up

He decided his future I would impede

I was cast aside, replaced

Loves defeat I will never concede

 **Nobody**


	51. You Are A Human Being

Chapter 51

* * *

 **You Are A Human Being**

You must take care of yourself

Yes it does matter to me

It does make a difference

You should be damage free

* * *

With each new flaw or failing

With every tiny imperfection

I feel closer to you

I offer your mind protection

* * *

No longer need your thoughts

Hurt you and drag you down

Please share your pain with me

So we may smile instead of frown

* * *

I have so very long wanted

To find someone who is the same

Understanding without explanation

Knowing shame without blame

* * *

Share your thoughts and feelings

You are a Human Being

Maybe to some I am Nobody

To me you are Somebody worth freeing

 **Nobody**


	52. Not Complicated

Chapter 52

* * *

 **Not Complicated**

It is not complicated

It is simply fear

Fear of rejection

Love causes many a tear

* * *

For we never feel equal

We never feel we are a peer

Rejection cuts so deep

Even the slightest sneer

* * *

When Cupid shoots his arrow

He misses the one we hold dear

He laughs as into our heart

He shoves then twists a spear

* * *

The fear of rejection grips us

Crushing our minds tiny sphere

Is it ever what is inside of us

Or only to use our veneer

* * *

To the one we love

We try to make their heart steer

As they see the direction is us

Away from us they violently veer

* * *

It is not complicated

As it seems to appear

It is fear of rejection

It is simply fear of fear

 **Nobody**


	53. Déjà Vu

Chapter 53

* * *

 **Déjà Vu**

Beauty may be in the words

True beauty resides within you

What you have slowly hidden

You should review and renew

* * *

You said it was

Something to do

Remember what you felt

How those feelings grew

* * *

In times of trouble

From its strength you drew

You felt and shared the love

As it did expand and accrue

* * *

In times of sorrow and sadness

When you were feeling blue

A lonely soul was always willing

To help you get through

* * *

Our lives grind on

Trapped in Earths zoo

Tomorrow can hold promise

Or is it just déjà vu

 **Nobody**


	54. Know NO

Chapter 54

* * *

 **Know NO**

The thrill of victory

The agony of defeat

The stab in the heart

The smoothness of the sheet

* * *

Feelings emotion confusion

They surge through the mind

We think we can see

Yet we are stone cold blind

* * *

It all happens in our brain

It is only all make believe

All they can give is to use

Maybe say thanks and leave

* * *

Rather than forever wonder

It is better to know

That we are not good enough

To know the answer is eternally NO

* * *

All may seem small and lost

Nothing any longer matters

How could they do this to me

My shredded heart in tatters

* * *

Sex need not be physical

In a cold dark room at home

Sex comes in many forms

Maybe even as a poem

 **Nobody**


	55. Any Time

Chapter 55

* * *

 **Any Time**

Sometimes the inner self

Screams out to be heard

The mind grows tired, weak and weary

Emotions boil over when not stirred

* * *

Lonely people need to hear

Good things sometimes not meaningless pity

Imagine if all people said someone

Was ugly instead of beautiful or pretty

* * *

They would hurt them to no end

To praise someone specific

With sweet pleasant thoughts

Should be something terrific

* * *

Everything is make believe anyway

We only chose to live certain realities

Where we get stuck at in life

Are really only technicalities

* * *

Look around, what is the point

Life is simple like this very rhyme

We follow along for the payoff

Then realize it can end anytime

 **Nobody**


	56. Across My Universe

Chapter 56

* * *

 **Across My Universe**

My jumbled thoughts cascading

into a tangled rambling mess

They collided within my sad mind

across my universe

Floods of remorse, joy of hope

Are mixing through my hurting head

Restraining and reshaping me

across my universe

* * *

Where can the true one be

Love will change my world

* * *

In my mind I am singing this song

makes me wonder where I belong

It echoes restraints and drifts

across my universe

Emotions grind and sting like gravel

on a winding dirt road

They collide and ricochet unevenly

across my universe

* * *

Where can the true one be

Love will change my world

* * *

Burdens of work daily drudge of life

Are tearing through my empty heart

Cringing through thoughts of tomorrow

across my universe

Love or lust seems to remain unknown

hope and fear cutting to the bone

Yet to come dreams exist

across my universe

* * *

Where can the true one be

Love will change my world

 **Nobody**


	57. Diamonds

Chapter 57

* * *

 **Diamonds**

It has been said

Diamonds are a girls best friend

For me to really believe that

I would have to pretend

* * *

Gold is a mineral

Money is paper

Credit or a check is a promise

Might as well all be vapor

* * *

I know they all have a use

To me other things matter

Take what is mine

You will feel bones shatter

* * *

A diamond means something

If it is from the one I want

For its traditional intended purpose

All others I will confront

* * *

Treasure what you will

I value what is important to me

I can not understand why

They are unable to see

 **Nobody**


	58. Rerun

Chapter 58

* * *

 **Rerun**

Darkness

Rejection

Anger

Despair

* * *

Come painfully in many forms

A gamble can be to win or lose

But not with the same chips or cards

There is a better way to choose

* * *

When you look at the persons outside

That is all you can see

It is what is inside that matters

Or you only get a fancy marquee

* * *

Bulges grow, things sag, wrinkles appear

Outer beauty evaporates with time

Is not the person trapped inside still

Who they were in their youthful prime

* * *

As the world burns around us

Each new day like the last

To stop living the same rerun

You need a different cast

 **Nobody**


	59. Salvation And Redemption

Chapter 59

* * *

 **Salvation And Redemption**

Is my mind so warped and twisted

Lost in a maze of death and hurt

I can not escape the tormenting past

Can ever good thoughts my mind exert

* * *

What does your mind want and seek

Is it for when your heart feels a void

When you feel the deep emotions

You fear and run and try to avoid

* * *

I need to feel the pain and hurt

Because I can not feel love given

My mind slips and erodes more

So slowly insane I am driven

* * *

Because I am "not good enough"

That means I need soon die

And all the little "ant" "real" people

Will just stupidly ask and wonder why

* * *

I am afraid to slip into dark evil

For I could be very, very cruel

I would rather touch your heart

And make you feel like a jewel

* * *

I think that there is no earthly freedom

So like something from Macbeth

My salvation and redemption

Will simply be my own death

 **Nobody**


	60. Grim Reaper

Chapter 60

* * *

 **Grim Reaper**

Stop

Look around

There is nothing else

To be found

* * *

This is the best life has to offer

The crossroads of Nowhere and Deadend

To think it gets better

Is only make believe or pretend

* * *

What can be different

It is just more of the same

Life has you beaten

If you play its game

* * *

The deck is stacked

The fix is in

Try all you want

You can never win

* * *

Is being alive

Really only living dead

Is there nothing left to enjoy

Except a few moments in bed

* * *

When you never wake up

You may see a new keeper

Then you know it is time

To follow the Grim Reaper

 **Nobody**


	61. Lies Of Omission

Chapter 61

* * *

 **Lies Of Omission**

Life has many self created prisons

To keep our soul in detention

To crack our armored shell

Our inner self afraid of contrition

* * *

Are the cards ever all played

Or seen as lies of omission

Can we give more than we take

From those whom we seek emotional nutrition

* * *

To let the cracks split open

May force us into submission

To slowly open up to one we care for

Is not an act of purposeful sedition

* * *

Can we read between the lines

To understand by our intuition

To express our feelings and desire

We may rely on perceived supposition

* * *

To build complete loving trust

We will submit to inquisition

Two crying unfulfilled empty hearts

Seeking in life's lonely juxtaposition

* * *

Our own hurting minds crumble

Surrounded by emotional decomposition

Life on the crumbling edge

It may lead to weary suspicion

* * *

Outright false untruths on purpose

For most are the real deadly mission

To protect ourselves and loved ones

We all hide behind lies of omission

 **Nobody**


	62. Intercede

Chapter 62

* * *

 **Intercede**

The sky is cloudy

The rain begins to fall

I see a person walking

They seem in a type of thrall

* * *

They step into the street

They seem confused or lost

I see a big truck coming

To approach them may seem an accost

* * *

I see what is going to happen

I must shout out a warning

Before something bad occurs

I don't want anyone mourning

* * *

It is my fault

I encouraged them to go

I should have warned them before

How the pain would everywhere flow

* * *

What have I done AGAIN

To one I wanted to protect

Another life damaged

That I have caused to wreck

* * *

I see others stand and watch

Why won't they lend a hand

I know they want a future

This is not what they planned

* * *

There is no time

I must now intercede

I cling to them pulling them back

It was meant as a good deed

* * *

I only timidly speak

Because I saw this happened before

I can not do NOTHING

For one I so adore

 **Nobody**


	63. Aspire

Chapter 63

* * *

 **Aspire**

We know what is wrong

We know what does not work

We ignore reality and fact

At insanities edge we lurk

How do we stop the anguish

To see through this dark murk

* * *

There is no escape with others

They make every problem worse

To surrender our very selves

Ends with a ride in a hearse

We hurt everyone around us

When we name call and curse

* * *

Selfishness, greed, ego, desire

Each mistake makes things dire

The more we try escape

The further we sink and mire

Few help, few heed, few care

Nobody tries to help guide and aspire

* * *

Nobody cares and lends a hand

Blinded by life's daily mundane rage

Trapped in a undeserved existence

No walls or bars yet stuck in a cage

Nobody will stand beside us

As the curtain closes on our stage

 **Nobody**


	64. Silver Lining

Chapter 64

* * *

 **Silver Lining**

We look all around

For the Silver Lining

Nothing can be heard

Beyond our own whining

* * *

All of life is empty and dull

Gone are things once shining

Our burdened mind into overload

Impossible thoughts combining

* * *

Each second soon gone forever

Our bodies and minds declining

Our bleeding hearts calling

For our true lover pining

* * *

Even alone and outside

Life's drudge is confining

Seeking impossible perfection

Our mind keeps redesigning

* * *

Finding never ending excuses

Character dissected like strip mining

Does it take a neon sign

To see the Silver Lining

 **Nobody**


	65. Heartbeat

Chapter 65

* * *

 **Heartbeat**

My life has been nothing

Like some evil cruel illusion

I live in total empty darkness

Unable to tell reality from delusion

* * *

There is nowhere left to run

There is nowhere left to hide

I am overwhelmed by feelings

Which are exploding deep inside

* * *

I hate all the "real" people

For they have made me hate myself

I am not some useless worthless item

To be put away forever on a shelf

* * *

Existing without love and emotion

My mind is tearing itself apart

I do know in actual reality

It is in the mind not the heart

* * *

I know I am not stupid or insane

Is it evil, wrong, a sin or a crime

To desire the most special thing

To feel your heart beat next to mine

 **Nobody**


	66. Whisper

Chapter 66

* * *

 **Whisper**

It begins as a whisper

We faintly start to hear it

We question its existence

As it gently touches our spirit

* * *

The whisper can echo

As it starts to flow

Through our entire being

Its volume will delicately grow

* * *

A whisper can remain silent

If we mute its force

Or rise to a shout

If its inspiration we endorse

* * *

Most whispers remain soundless

For the scream we hear is rejection

We cower and retreat in fear

Never sharing the whispers affection

* * *

The whisper fades and drifts away

We doubt it ever existed

The empty loneliness embraced

Loves murmur once again resisted

 **Nobody**


	67. Demon

Chapter 67

* * *

 **Demon**

The Demon is within

It is my own mind

When I look inside

I hate what I find

* * *

Rejected by ALL others

Feeling like burnt trash

For you JUST to look at me

Would be worth more than cash

* * *

The Demon is within

It is my own mind

When I look inside

I hate what I find

* * *

Fear hate loathing anger

That is all the Demon can feel

A pile of gray useless matter

Afraid of what is real

* * *

The Demon is within

It is my own mind

When I look inside

I hate what I find

* * *

But the Demon must fear

For I hold the key

I can slay the Demon within

Destroy its existence and I am free

* * *

The Demon is within

It is my own mind

When I look inside

I hate what I find

 **Nobody**


	68. Resurrection

Chapter 68

* * *

 **Resurrection**

I truly have come to believe

After deep thought and much reflection

That you are very VERY special Indeed

A endless plethora of complexion

* * *

I can not stop you from growing

In my mind and heart like an infection

This is better than nice or good

For it is pure real sweet affection

* * *

Of any scale, measure or test there is

You pass with honors every inspection

There simply is no other Human

More worthy of this life's protection

* * *

My heart and mind are spread open

Ready for you to do total dissection

Show me your empty lonely path

So WE may alter its lost direction

* * *

The things you thought damaged you

Have brought you closer to perfection

Our future has indicated

Our destiny's fate connection

* * *

There is NOTHING about you

That needs repair or correction

Look into the mirror of OUR minds

You deserve nothing less than resurrection

 **Nobody**


	69. I Am Sorry

Chapter 69

* * *

 **I Am Sorry**

I am a failure

I have not measured up

I have done the best I can

How full or empty is the cup

* * *

Make me hurt

Make me bleed

I am who I am

It's a shame we disagreed

* * *

Tear from my mind

Crush my heart flat

I never thought

I would need a diplomat

* * *

Much like Underdog

This is the way that I can express

Perhaps my mind is wired different

Sorry for the distress

* * *

There is no need to twist

The knife stuck in my back

The damage has been done

Please do not my vision attack

 **Nobody**


	70. Inspiration

Chapter 70

* * *

 **Inspiration**

What is inspiration

Where does it spawn from

The heart mind and soul

From happiness or feeling glum

* * *

Perhaps from encouragement

Our inner self can expand

Seldom the path followed

Is the one desired or planned

* * *

What will be our motivation

Will anyone ever really know

Or is it as fleetingly transitory

As a colorful Spring rainbow

* * *

Spark up the enthusiasm

Unleash the imagination

For inside everyone of us

Grows tomorrows foundation

 **Nobody**


	71. We Can Change The Rules

Chapter 71

* * *

 **We Can Change The Rules**

When those around us

Treat us like fools

We can strike back

We can change the rules

* * *

The present time is full

Of choices we may hate

Our future is fluid

Not restricted to fate

* * *

In the confines of living

Many rules hold us back

We can change the rules

To thwart life's attack

* * *

Who is the master

Who is the slave

To change what is fallacious

Is not cowardly but brave

* * *

We can change the rules

For we have the ability

To control our destiny

Make our own tranquility

 **Nobody**


	72. Compassion

Chapter 72

* * *

 **Compassion**

We have been pushed hard to the ground

But the Grim Reaper has not won this round

* * *

For we have stared death in the face

But remain in life's dull daily race

* * *

I have felt the cold steel upon my head

But you can not kill what is already dead

* * *

So to evil our will is profound

It has to get better may love abound

* * *

Our will to want love is hard to erase

For we have eluded eternity's embrace

* * *

Something beautiful is nothing to dread

May joy be delivered and fear shed

* * *

Run no more look what we have found

It is never too late to expand and rebound

* * *

We push on in our unjust disgrace

Emotions that have died we can replace

* * *

Feel the poems and songs we have read

From our very being truth has been said

* * *

In your body a pure heart does pound

Deep in your soul it is no longer bound

* * *

There is more in darkness than empty space

Lay the cards down and pick up the ace

 **Nobody**


	73. Death Sentence

Chapter 73

* * *

 **Death Sentence**

My sentence is now Life

Served in solitary confinement

To try to escape alive NOW

Will be my new assignment

* * *

I am trapped in here

My mind imprisoned fast

A worthless shell its captor

I am a prisoner of the futures past

* * *

I see a new salvation

To share and comfort and want

Let me break these chains

No longer do you need hunt

* * *

The prison board has met

My sentence they will increase

Freedom is here at last

The Death Sentence is sweet release

 **Nobody**


	74. Isolation Is Not A Choice

Chapter 74

* * *

 **Isolation Is Not A Choice**

Isolation is not a choice

It is forced upon one

Invisible and unwanted by others

Before you start you are done

* * *

Some join the pack lost

Others just hide and run

Some choose different vices

Others pick up a gun

* * *

You can not understand how

Things end before they have begun

For every one step forward

Ten are reversed and undone

* * *

You always wonder why

You have never ever won

You may not have anything

You are forced to have none

* * *

Life's weight crushes you

Smashing your mind like a ton

The mind forever in torment

What was it like to have fun

 **Nobody**


	75. What I Most Crave

Chapter 75

* * *

 **What I Most Crave**

What I fear most

Is you will throw me away

Be offended or angry

Of what I do or say

* * *

You are like me

We share a common pain

We are not freaks or weird

Or totally insane

* * *

To no other person

Could I talk like this

And at the end of the day

Get a smile and a kiss

* * *

However you are

Is how you are

It does not matter

You are who you are

* * *

The jury of your mind

Has now convened

Whatever I am

It is not a fiend

* * *

I know only your mind

It has become my friend

So many YEARS of emotion

Is hard NOT to send

* * *

True pure emotional love

Is what I most crave

Will I ever be good enough

Before I meet the grave

* * *

Forgive me my dearest friend

If I seem out of control

But to talk with you

Gives my soul a parole

* * *

My feelings and emotions

Are like a bursting dam

They are true and pure

And not a evil sham

* * *

To do the right thing

I also once said

And it won't mean a thing

When it kills me dead

 **Nobody**


	76. Sometimes It's Nice To Have Help

Chapter 76

* * *

 **Sometimes It's Nice To Have Help**

Life presents many difficulties

Some things become a struggle

When things become overwhelming

Suddenly necessities we need to juggle

* * *

Sometimes it's nice to have help

When we are feeling down

A helping hand reaching out

Can prevent the feeling we will drown

* * *

Some may not be as durable

Others can better take the heat

Allow those best suited

Help their companions compete

* * *

When we grow weary

From others we may draw strength

Remember there are those

That will go to any length

* * *

Reach back out

To one who reaches in

For working together

Makes life easier to win

 **Nobody**


	77. Chain

Chapter 77

* * *

 **Chain**

One is imprisoned

As if bound by a chain

While the limbs are free

The chain holds the brain

* * *

Love may not be in the heart

It is all happening within the mind

How is one able to see

Yet remain so willingly blind

* * *

The chain holds one firm

Somehow it comforts the soul

Without its binding weight

One can not feel whole

* * *

To serve their Master

The chain keeps them near

If the chain were broken

One would only cower in fear

* * *

The chain is reassuring

For as it holds one to any degree

It holds the other too

Enslavement is easier than being free

 **Nobody**


	78. Perfect

Chapter 78

* * *

 **Perfect**

With each and every wound

To both your body and mind

Only makes you more special

Double when they are combined

* * *

You have taken the beating

Survived the hurting strain

Endured severe mental torture

Been a victor over this pain

* * *

Demons can only haunt you

For you have beaten them in Hell

May you find the path to happiness

Forever in Heaven may you dwell

* * *

Every injury flaw and shortcoming

Each defect and all that is imperfect

Make you a stronger and better person

You are as close as possible to perfect

 **Nobody**


	79. This Is Living ?

Chapter 79

* * *

 **This Is Living ?**

STOP

LOOK around you - LOOK

LISTEN what do you hear ?

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

Is THIS all there is ?

Is THIS what you want ?

Is THIS enough ?

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

Sleep - nightmares

Get up and work hard, suffer

Go home - sleep - nightmares

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

Sleep - wake

Eat - generate waste

What is the point ?

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

WHY ?

What is all THIS for ?

TELL ME !

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

Today is Yesterday

Yesterday is Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Today

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

There is no FUTURE

There is no PAST

LOOK it is all NOTHING

* * *

This is "living" ?

* * *

Insects infest the Earth

Humans are the Insects

Terminate them all

 **Nobody**


	80. For They Can Not Kill You

Chapter 80

* * *

 **For They Can Not Kill You**

To those who have offended you

You may stand tall

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have hurt you

You are much stronger

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have despised you

You are more courageous

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have harmed you

You have endured

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have abused you

You are fearless

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have bruised you

You are more gallant

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have used you

You remain undaunted

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have wounded you

You are more brave

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have spited you

You are more valiant

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have beaten you

You are unflinching

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have maligned you

You are more determined

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have assaulted you

You are the victor

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have insulted you

You remain un-weathered

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have destroyed you

You are not afraid

For they can not kill you

* * *

To those who have ravaged you

You are intrepid

For they can not kill you

* * *

You have beaten them ALL

Only YOU can kill you

And you NEVER will

 **Nobody**


	81. Sometimes They Go Bad

Chapter 81

* * *

 **Sometimes They Go Bad**

Has it not been said

About everyone at some point

Sometimes they go bad

Even one our heart will anoint

* * *

Many things can occur

Many things go wrong

We can be rejected

Told we do not belong

* * *

Things beyond our control

They can happen at any time

If we falter, fail or error

Our own existence we begrime

* * *

We have the power

Deep within ourselves to resist

To the one we have hurt

Even if we have never kissed

* * *

It is said, love conquers all

Even rejecting ones very nature

When that actually happens

Love is more than nomenclature

 **Nobody**


	82. Drag

Chapter 82

* * *

 **Drag**

I know that I

Might not be much

But there is still beauty

In my touch

* * *

Perhaps to you

I may seem dull

That makes it easier

To be the one you cull

* * *

It seems some only want

To be used by another

Sooner than they know

They suffocate and smother

* * *

Maybe some think

I am just an anchor

At least I do not

Purposely cause rancor

* * *

It seems like an extraction

Rather than any attraction

Drag City is the place for me

Where there is no fun or action

 **Nobody**


	83. One Once

Chapter 83

* * *

 **One Once**

Look around NOW, you are surrounded

By those that have abandoned you

The one that was once the closest

Has been pushed the farthest from you

* * *

You have built a mighty fortress

That has grown empty and cold

Life is passing by every second

No one gets younger, only old

* * *

Timbers crack, walls bend and buckle

Look into the empty darkness so black

There is still one that was once the closest

That has always helped protect your back

* * *

As the world crushes and injures you

No one around you can see it develop

You do gain strength and support from

A heart and soul yours once did envelop

* * *

Anguish, pain, suffering and anger

Are not able to be seen by those

Who have willingly abandoned you

Only the one you once chose, knows

* * *

Life is the final battlefield

There is no surrender or retreat

Dig in, hold on and fight

Soon enough the Maker we meet

 **Nobody**


	84. Poem And Song

Chapter 84

* * *

 **Poem And Song**

The nights are short

The days are long

May it ease your mind

With a poem and a song

* * *

To give you a sweet hug

You so much deserve

For you get very few

From those you serve

* * *

To caress your mind

To touch your heart

To rebuild your spirit

Others have torn apart

* * *

A kiss upon your lips

A hug around your shoulders

Maybe you can nuzzle

Some voluptuous boulders

* * *

To make you smile

Make you feel happy

To bring some pleasant joy

When things seem crappy

* * *

All that is expected

Is for you to survive

Be happy and healthy

Stay alive and thrive

 **Nobody**


	85. A Promise Is A Promise

Chapter 85

* * *

 **A Promise Is A Promise**

I promised

I would never leave

So now to eternity

Forever I will grieve

* * *

Never ending, everlasting

Forever is a long time

But to have feelings

Is not a crime

* * *

Like an animals foot

Caught in a trap like glue

Through the bone and flesh

I gnaw and chew

* * *

Escape is elusive - almost

Or endless story

A promise is a promise

Do you remember Richard Cory?

 **Nobody**


	86. No Fate

Chapter 86

* * *

 **No Fate**

The future is not set

It is never too late

For ourselves what we make

There is no fate

* * *

Tomorrow exists not

For today is still here

What possibly could be

May never appear

* * *

Grasp the Now

Make it your own

Reject the dungeon

Seek the throne

* * *

What once was

May not always be

For what may never happen

There need be no apology

* * *

Go boldly forward

True and straight

And always remember

There is no fate

 **Nobody**


	87. Covet

Chapter 87

* * *

 **Covet**

There are those

We may covet

When they become aware

They say cram it

* * *

There are those

We may worship

When they become aware

The finger us they flip

* * *

There are those

We may want

When they become aware

They see it as a stupid stunt

* * *

There are those

We may desire

When they become aware

They throw our heart into the fire

* * *

There are those

We may love

When they become aware

Away us they shove

 **Nobody**


	88. Crash Landing

Chapter 88

* * *

 **Crash Landing**

The world burns around us

No one can tell the state we are in

As we slowly lose control

We end up in a tailspin

* * *

Laughing and smiling life goes on for them

No one can tell the state we are in

As we slowly are destroyed

We rapidly spiral in

* * *

Uncaring and unconcerned about us

No one can tell the state we are in

As we slowly are squished

We uncontrollably auger in

* * *

Once they are done using us

No one cares the state we are left in, only to spurn

As we slowly are erased

We are about to crash and burn

* * *

Never enough, no matter how much we give

No one can tell the state we are in or where bound

As we slowly are decimated

We end up a smoking hole in the ground

* * *

Unrequited love is never returned

No one can tell the state we are in

As we slowly are tortured

We inevitably spin in

 **Nobody**


	89. Duty

Chapter 89

* * *

 **Duty**

The sky is dark

The sea gets rougher

The crashing waves

Are not much of a buffer

* * *

Up and down left and right

The ship gets pounded

FEAR and panic rush in

As the alarm is sounded

* * *

There is a crack in the hull

Water begins to flow

TRAPPED in the Ocean

There is no place to go

* * *

The breach opens and expands

The pumps soon fail

It is a pathetic sound

To hear grown men wail

* * *

All are off to safety

But the Captain remains behind

For in Davy Jones Locker

He knows his duty and WHAT he will find

 **Nobody**


	90. Worse Than Dead

Chapter 90

* * *

 **Worse Than Dead**

To no one at all

Do I feel superior

To everyone there is

I only feel inferior

* * *

How do you know love

How do you tell

Is there an answer

My mind on this I dwell

* * *

I want to give

I want to receive

There has to be

This I truly believe

* * *

Too many have hurt you

Too many have used

Your mind is clouded

Your heart is bruised

* * *

I am on the outside

Always looking in

I believe in the feelings

That come from within

* * *

I do not love myself

I do not like myself at all

I just despise and hate myself

I always have waited the call

* * *

In a world without love

There is no reason to live

For you are worse than dead

If you have no one which to give

 **Nobody**


	91. No One Is Ever Safe

Chapter 91

* * *

 **No One Is Ever Safe**

In fear of love we fear

We attempt to build a wall

An impervious impenetrable fortress

That never really exists at all

* * *

What love has chosen

We can not reject

Even from ourselves

We are unable to protect

* * *

We say it is not true

Just a passing feeling

Loves lesson remains bloody

There is never any healing

* * *

Emotional feeling is a weakness

From the past to the future

The wound it creates

Only love can suture

* * *

We cast them aside

Think we are safe

In our own heart we know

No one is ever safe

 **Nobody**


	92. Trust

Chapter 92

* * *

 **Trust**

Many things can be ruined or destroyed

One of the most damaging is Trust

When you lose or steal a persons Trust

There is little left more than blowing Dust

* * *

I destroyed ones Trust in me

I did not do it out of lust or Greed

I was cast aside like waste

It was not my fault I Plead

* * *

I wanted to love

I wanted to be loved in Return

To share, honor, feel and love

Their Trust I wanted to Earn

* * *

It shattered me inside

To feel that Trust was Gone

How could this happen

With the love I wanted to Spawn

* * *

To protect, help and assist

I would never their Trust Betray

To keep dignity, pride, honor and respect

I do not know what else to Say

 **Nobody**


	93. Affliction

Chapter 93

* * *

 **Affliction**

What is the affliction

Is it the Lonely Hearts Club

Or even worse still yet

The Cracked Minds Club

* * *

Sometimes we dodge a blow

Sometimes we do not

Those seem to be

The ones that hurt a lot

* * *

Loves accelerator to the floor

Feel the emotional carburetors drink

With everything moving fast

There is little time to think

* * *

What does tomorrow bring

When only today happens now

The past becomes clouded

Blindly onward without thought we plow

* * *

Where does IT go

Where does IT end

It all finishes the same

Tolerate, submit, capitulate, bend

 **Nobody**


	94. Cling

Chapter 94

* * *

 **Cling**

Never trust anyone

Is what was said

I interpret that to mean

Unless they are dead

* * *

There is no real relationship

If there is no trust

There is NOTHING

Where is fair, honest and just

* * *

I can not lose

The only one who still trusted me

It is something I cherish

Please hear and feel my plea

* * *

I was pushed away

But I am still the same

I have only shared love

I am not to punish and blame

* * *

I have nothing to offer them

I have nothing to bring

I will never accept defeat

Can't they feel me cling

 **Nobody**


	95. Train Wreck

Chapter 95

* * *

 **Train Wreck**

* * *

I can not stop this train

So surely it will wreck

Step aside and let it by

Just say "what the heck"

* * *

I will not reach out again

My mind is tainted beyond repair

My words are ME in letters

I can not accept my words only scare

* * *

I really am NOBODY

I must run again to hide

I know my feelings only hurt others

Things I say come from deep inside

* * *

I am not normal in any way

But is not all my fault alone

I at least hope you saw another person

That you would have liked to have known

* * *

In a body bent and broken

My mind is trapped here

I MUST set it free

Be happy and shed not a tear

* * *

It is natural for some to want to kill

The person that has hurt one the most

So I will face them now

I will make them a ghost

* * *

The person I hate the most is ME

Nobody, nothing, a failure in every way

I hate EVERYTHING about me

It matters not if myself I slay

* * *

I give up, I quit and capitulate

I am defeated, I surrender

Here is one more song to hear

It's called The Great Pretender

* * *

I can feel I am unwanted

I must slither away in shame

I HATE me, myself and I

For only are they to blame

* * *

I did not know it was possible

To have these feelings in my brain

Without ever even reaching you

At least my heart is not insane

* * *

I KNOW you do not want to HEAR it

But before I get to eternity up above

I know I already said it in so many ways

You know who it is I love

* * *

 **Nobody**


	96. Past

Chapter 96

* * *

 **Past**

The future is the past

The past is past, both already done

The ways to change them

Seem zero to none

* * *

Should have

Could have

Would have

Almost

Maybe

If

But

Possibly

Perhaps

* * *

All mean nothing

That time line never existed

None of them happened

Thinking otherwise is twisted

* * *

The cards you hold

Are the cards you have been dealt

Scars and blows are felt

Stinging as if whips from a belt

* * *

Restrains bind not your limbs

Chains are only in the mind

It is easier to do nothing

Maligned by life we've resigned

* * *

Break your shackles

Set yourself free

It may sound funny

For you've always held the key

 **Nobody**


	97. Dark Side

Chapter 97

* * *

 **Dark Side**

Our hearts bleed, lifeless, alone

Love cuts deep, to the very bone

* * *

Have our lives just been blown

For things that are unknown

* * *

For love that we could only loan

Half of nothing, single, lone

* * *

Ourselves away we have thrown

Anything to feel and moan

* * *

To submit to life like a drone

Wishing we could make a clone

* * *

Into our bodies life's seed sown

Pain forever into our hearts sewn

* * *

It is they who have hearts of stone

Love itself having never flown

* * *

We worship them in our minds throne

Their dark side has forever shown

 **Nobody**


	98. Dig In

Chapter 98

* * *

 **Dig In**

Shoot the horses, plant the flag

From this battlefield I will not retreat

Wounded I fight for in what I believe

Only my last breath will be my defeat

* * *

The fight is not fair if I'm pushed away

I will warn of future inevitable treachery

Cruelty is banned from the battlefield

They will use it against you for their lechery

* * *

You are injured not thinking clear

The casualties must be moved to the rear

Only time will dull the tormenting pain

The wounds need treatment to heal and sear

* * *

No place to run, no place to hide

Outnumbered here they come but yet I try

For your honor, safety and very life

I will never surrender they must make me die

 **Nobody**


	99. Masters Will

Chapter 99

* * *

 **Masters Will**

Those who have hurt me

Know I have the power to kill

And they do not remain alive

Because it is the Masters Will

* * *

It is Me, Myself and I alone

Who allow them to live

Unlike many a Deity

I do not and will not forgive

* * *

As Master of my own world

I can make things change

If someone hurts me on purpose

Then their life they may exchange

* * *

Lucky for them I still believe

That someone will want me

Yes someone the same as me

This until NOW I could not see

* * *

It is said with great power

Comes great responsibility

There are worse Human Beings

Only to ourselves we show hostility

* * *

With all deep respect

With honor, truth and humility

Only NOW do I comprehend

My emotions and feelings ability

 **Nobody**


	100. A Shadow At Night

Chapter 100

* * *

 **A Shadow At Night**

* * *

I live in a prison

The prison is my home

Surrounded by others

But I am alone

* * *

Abandoned but trapped

In my own home

It is worse than nothing

For I can not roam

* * *

A twelve by twelve room

Like a prison cell

Stuck, stuck, stuck

It is worse than Hell

* * *

In my sad eyes

The bleeding tears well

Nobody can hear me scream

But my mind and heart yell

* * *

Death is not an end

But a path to freedom

Escape into the future

False Prophet or wisdom

* * *

Sometimes I fall

Deeper and deeper

Tomorrow means less

Life grows cheaper

* * *

I am nothing but a shadow

A shadow at night

No matter how hard you look

It remains out of sight

* * *

 **Nobody**


	101. Addicted

Chapter 101

* * *

 **Addicted**

* * *

I can honestly say

I have not known true love

When two hearts join together

As a hand in a glove

* * *

For the first time in your life

You can know true love too

Nothing else will matter

Just me and you

* * *

Love is like a drug

The more you get

The more you want

The less you can quit

* * *

I am already hooked

I am addicted to you

I want everything

Your love so pure sweet and true

* * *

Like every junkie in withdrawal

No matter the pain before

I can not escape my addiction

I crawl back in agony for more

* * *

 **Nobody**


	102. Escrow

Chapter 102

* * *

 **Escrow**

What is real from make believe

Perhaps I am deluded and insane

I tear away at life's shrinking cage

I can not control my detonating brain

* * *

To gain my perceived freedom

Will destroy all that I know

I have put my feelings and emotions

Love and very life into human escrow

* * *

My mind screaming at itself

Terrified and fearing the unknown

I reach through the bars of my cage

Knowing it is worse than death to be ALONE

* * *

The painful jab of the prod

The bloody blows from the stick

If I can bleed I am still alive

Feel its warmth, thick and slick

* * *

I growl and snarl

Lash out in a rage

Hurting myself as I bite and claw

The cold metal of my shrinking cage

 **Nobody**


	103. Zenith

Chapter 103

* * *

 **Zenith**

To know the ONE

Different than the rest

Is to know the ONE

That is the best

* * *

An endless trudge uphill

Suddenly you reach the crest

Knowing you are not good enough

Afraid you will always fail the test

* * *

An endless empty bottomless void

Has left you beyond depressed

You know it is only you

So yourself you detest

* * *

Like a dream come true

Slowly you become possessed

You can not stop the feelings

Afraid to become obsessed

* * *

You want to be happy

Share thoughts and to jest

So fearful of yourself

Afraid to be a pest

* * *

You know the true beauty

Is what lies BEHIND the breast

Praying to touch the heart

Feeling you have been blessed

* * *

A lifetime of anguish ending

For no longer need you quest

This is life's final zenith

You feel more than impressed

 **Nobody**


	104. Apart

Chapter 104

* * *

 **Apart**

Why do we run

Why do we hide

Why can't we say

What is inside

* * *

What are we afraid of

Is it to live

Or that we will never receive

But only exist to give

* * *

Tell me you can live

Forever on an empty heart

Together trapped in a void

Your being and feelings apart

* * *

Is not the past

To which we are a slave

Surely the path

To our grave

 **Nobody**


	105. I'm Always Here

Chapter 105

* * *

 **I'm Always Here**

I am invisible

Nothing will anyone hear

Make no mistake

I'm always here

* * *

It is my function

It is my career

It is my choice

I'm always here

* * *

For the one I care for

Worship and hold dear

They never need worry

I'm always here

* * *

From the future to the present

They never need fear

I will honor and protect

I'm always here

* * *

Time matters not

Day to month to year

Forever I will follow

I'm always here

 **Nobody**


	106. Door

Chapter 106

* * *

 **Door**

Lonely lacking unfulfilling emptiness

Hearts and minds crawling like a vine

They find nourishment and satisfaction

Around each other they slowly entwine

* * *

No judgment condemnation or ridicule

Warnings against what you know is bad

Not as punishment or humiliation

But because they ARE bad

* * *

Proven history with the same results

Show you need something different

Love must exist over mere looks

Not someone who treats you as indifferent

* * *

It is difficulty to reach with just a mind

You do know it is a beaut

Create a door in the concrete wall

There is more to share than just loot

* * *

Absorb the softness and compassion

Feel the love warmth and caring

For to continue in this bitter life

There must be THIS pure sharing

 **Nobody**


	107. Problem Solved

Chapter 107

* * *

 **Problem Solved**

No longer need you distress

For the pain will go away

It is no longer a problem

No matter what they say

* * *

What is done is done

You must move ahead

There is much more to a person

Than what others may have said

* * *

However this event occurred

You must no longer worry

Look around and triple check

It may hurt you if you hurry

* * *

Life revolves around people

Their actions can really stink

No longer can you punish yourself

Please remove your mind from the brink

* * *

I do not stand over you

I stand beside you

I will not abandon you

But all this, you already knew

 **Nobody**


	108. Blind Leading The Blind

Chapter 108

* * *

 **Blind Leading The Blind**

We know how all events soon end

Relationships that once fit snugly

Always fall violently apart

Everything turns bitter and ugly

* * *

The ones we once

Wanted to share a bed

Could really care less

If we now end up dead

* * *

It is never to interfere

For interferings sake

It is to try to only remind

Some things are more than we can take

* * *

It matters not the path taken

For we are now at the same destination

Looking for any hope or some salvation

Living misery and endless frustration

* * *

I am trying to deflect or absorb

The blows you may yet suffer

Every one new, same as the last

We grow weaker not tougher

* * *

Your actions or inaction's

Prompt my feelings to react

PLEASE always talk it over with me

For never is anything meant as an attack

* * *

To give you a reassuring, true feeling hug

One day maybe you will give me the same back

You are so much more, especially to me

Than a few meaningless minutes in the sack

 **Nobody**


	109. Fix Me

Chapter 109

* * *

 **Fix Me**

Fix me?

I am not broken

Why would you fix me

Have I misspoken

* * *

As each day dawns

I often dread

Things that happen

Things that are said

* * *

There are many who fear

My very existence

Especially those who

Put up a – resistance

* * *

It is very cruel

Unkind and mean

To treat someone

Like a mindless machine

* * *

When you know it is time

For something about me to fix

You had better come armed

With more than a crucifix

 **Nobody**


	110. Why Would You Fix Me ?

Chapter 110

* * *

 **Why Would You Fix Me ?**

Fix me ?

Why would you fix me ?

There is nothing wrong

I am bouncing with esprit

* * *

Can't you see I am happy

Can't you see I am having fun

There is nothing broken

For once I feel like I have won

* * *

Everything is beautiful

What is there to fix

Upon my very spirit

You have dropped a ton of bricks

* * *

I don't know you

Why are you in may face

Please don't disturb me

Or make me feel disgrace

* * *

It pains me greatly

In my gut it kicks

That who I am now

Would need some type of fix

 **Nobody**


	111. Beauty Is Transitory

Chapter 111

* * *

 **Beauty Is Transitory**

Indifferent, neutral and level

Are really a form of a stagnant mire

For you have lost life's few joys

Nothing to spark your inner fire

* * *

As each second passes

You grow older and older

As life's time unwinds

It grows colder and colder

* * *

Physical beauty is transitory

You will notice it slowly fading away

Things changing shape and feel

Did it always look this way?

* * *

But your inner beauty remains

Your mind does not know time

The mirror will show you older

Your mind is still in its prime

* * *

The feelings and emotions

Die much slower than the body shell

Run, enjoy, live and touch the Sun

Do not let your prison become Hell

 **Nobody**


	112. Vile And Evil

Chapter 112

* * *

 **Vile And Evil**

A storm rages in my consciousness

Lightning flashes, thunder roars

The windshield wipers work hard

But I still can not see what soars

* * *

A blanket of thick fog shrouds

All before, behind and around me

Only right here and right now

Is what I am able to think I see

* * *

My consciousness is the storm

It strikes like a violent tornado will

Tearing apart all it touches so deadly

Hurting all it contacts, leaving a chill

* * *

Something this ugly, vile and evil

Needs to be violently destroyed quickly

Full of insane emotional delusions

Seen only as a fiend and sickly

 **Nobody**


	113. Bloodstained Remains

Chapter 113

* * *

 **Bloodstained Remains**

Look around you

There are many nice things

Yet your sad heart has been looted

Its lonely emptiness stings

* * *

You feel no one is there for you

That is not correct

There has ALWAYS been one there

To guide, shield, help and protect

* * *

When you think about it in your mind

It is like I do not really exist

I can not understand

Why I was never missed

* * *

No matter how many times

I am repeatedly shot down

Like a Jack in the box

I get back up and stay around

* * *

How much can one use and take

Before another is empty and drained

When nothing is ever returned

What remains is bloodstained

 **Nobody**


	114. Cracks

Chapter 114

* * *

 **Cracks**

I have seen all of them

They crack your shell to hurt you

To chew you up then spit you out

Cast you aside when they are through

* * *

I too have tried to crack your shell

For in it you are also trapped

Not all are users, cruel and mean

I want you to flourish and adapt

* * *

The cracks I reach into

Are the ones you allow

To nourish your inner being

Strength within to endow

* * *

The only true physical shell of yours

Of the person trapped inside confined

Is your skull containing the thoughts

Feelings, emotions of your beautiful mind

* * *

I try to repairer cracks made by others

I try to replace my cracks with doors

You may open or close as you wish

And eternally know I am always yours

 **Nobody**


	115. Nobody

Chapter 115

* * *

 **Nobody**

* * *

From the very start

From when it begin

To YOU my sweet love

Have I not been:

Trustworthy

Honest

Loyal

Faithful

Sincere

Honorable

Respectful

Dependable

Reliable

Helpful

Consistent

Accommodating

Cooperative

Stabilizing

Sharing

Open

True

Decent

Praiseworthy

Caring

Patient

ALWAYS There

Loving

* * *

Ask anyone if they know

A person such as this

Would they been seen with remiss

Cast them into an abyss

* * *

You would be told:

Like that, good luck finding somebody

Like that, you won't find anybody

Like that there is – Nobody

* * *

 **Nobody**


	116. Boomerang

Chapter 116

* * *

 **Boomerang**

My devotion is to you

There is no other for me

To be or not to be

It will be – to be

* * *

You can shove

You can push

I'll be back

Even if it takes an ambush

* * *

No matter how far

You throw me away

No matter how hard you kick

I will always return another day

* * *

I am relentless

I will never stop

I will NEVER allow another

To set up shop

* * *

It is our destiny

I proudly harangue

I will always return

Like a well made boomerang

 **Nobody**


	117. Really Big Hug

Chapter 117

* * *

 **Really Big Hug**

Most will never give you

A true loving hug

They will use or abuse

Pull from under you the rug

* * *

People do not care

They soon turn smug

They do not want

The real warmth of a hug

* * *

They will grab and grope

At your clothes tug

They don't want YOU

Only your body to hug

* * *

When the chips are down

You feel like pulling the plug

Always remember that there is

Still one who wants YOU to hug

* * *

There is no escape

In a jug, mug or drug

So feel the loving warmth

As I send YOU a really big hug

 **Nobody**


	118. Four Letter Word

Chapter 118

* * *

 **Four Letter Word**

What is love

It is a four letter word

It can grow from like

It can be a wish

It can make you pine

It can make you care

It may make you long

If can make you hold

It can be just lust

Love the four letter word

May morph into the opposite

It can turn to hate

It can become vile

It can make one push

It can make one take

It can turn ugly

It can make one sore

It can cause pain

It can hurt

It can cause harm

It can become dark

It can turn evil

It can ache

It can turn to fear

It can deep into your mind stab

It can cause your heart to maim

It can cause people to kill

 **Nobody**


	119. Painful Reflections

Chapter 119

* * *

 **Painful Reflections**

Seeing and hearing

Yet so deaf and blind

Expressing my shortcomings

Painful reflections of my mind

* * *

The devastation of rejection

The endless agony of defeat

Are my own painful reflections

Not yours, you are so sweet

* * *

Painful reflections wherever I look

Have blinded my shaky sight

As my perpetual failure radiates

It causes anger, fear and fright

* * *

The scathing mirror of life

Ruminates painful reflections

Sending hurtful wounding signals

Which have no coherent corrections

* * *

My warped twisted mind exploding

In many conflicting damaging directions

Will forever be "not good enough"

Torment always with painful reflections

 **Nobody**


	120. Head On A Pike

Chapter 120

* * *

 **Head On A Pike**

Those who cross me

I will express my dislike

They will end up with their

Head on a pike

* * *

It sounds barbaric

But that is the price

They will be warned once

They won't hear it twice

* * *

From my inner being

A calling I can't ignore

For one I so adore

My actions I will abhor

* * *

I don't know why

But I know that I must

Such a sad shame

After earning their trust

* * *

The impulse has passed

Everything is once again fine

Things are good now

I feel on Cloud Nine

 **Nobody**


	121. Better

Chapter 121

* * *

 **Better**

I want to make you happy

I want to make you feel better

I share my mind and heart

When I give you a letter

* * *

As each day passes

Beauty fades away

Our bodies grow older

We can feel them decay

* * *

It is very sad but true

We can not grow younger

But for you my sweet love

I always yearn and hunger

* * *

To touch your soft flesh

Smooth gentle and slow

To make you feel the love

Everything you desire so

* * *

Maybe one day soon

You will want to feel and share

It is all within your own mind

Overcome the scare and dare

 **Nobody**


	122. Eyes

Chapter 122

* * *

 **Eyes**

I have looked

Into my own eyes

Is there anything

To see or realize

* * *

Dull and lifeless

Portals into my mind

I look for any worth

None can I find

* * *

They were once bright

Now devoid of hue

A portrait of my sins

My vision askew

* * *

My mind can see without them

Even in my dreams

Can you feel my tears

Or only hear my screams

* * *

Face to face

Eye to eye

I wish it can be

Before we die

 **Nobody**


	123. Anxiety

Chapter 123

* * *

 **Anxiety**

Terror

Panic

Fear

The Titanic

* * *

Nowhere to run

Nowhere to hide

It is collapsing within

What is trapped inside

* * *

Aloneness

Sorrow

Emptiness

No tomorrow

* * *

Pressure

Cold

Trapped

New things old

* * *

Help

Scream

Is it real

Is it a dream

 **Nobody**


	124. Hear

Chapter 124

* * *

 **Hear**

I want to touch your heart

So very hard I have tried

I have felt all your pain

With you I have bled and cried

* * *

An infatuation can occur in seconds

That is the physical attraction

But that is nothing lasting

Just an unsustainable distraction

* * *

I know that you resist the thought

That real beauty flows deep within

As time erases physical beauty

All that is left is wrinkled withered skin

* * *

The love trapped in your heart

Seeks the same returned reaching out

Burnt stung abused used stolen by some

Fills you with trepidation and doubt

* * *

Love is there, you know it is

Without direction or reciprocation

It can bleed your soul, stab your mind

Bestowed genuinely leads to emancipation

* * *

I am far yet so near but real

To share I am always here

When your mind needs someone to listen

I open my heart and mind and hear

 **Nobody**


	125. I Understand It's A Bad Idea

Chapter 125

* * *

 **I Understand It's A Bad Idea**

Trust is something that

We must slowly earn

But in a few seconds

That trust we can instantly burn

* * *

Trust is very important, but

There is something that blinds

It is when our mind is overridden

By the love our heart finds

* * *

Emotion and feeling cloud rationality

We stop thinking straight and clear

Making poor decisions, taking chances

Events are seldom what they appear

* * *

Love countermanding reason

Driven, we are possessed by lust

Throwing caution to the wind

Hoping we can build the trust

* * *

We think we have found a panacea

In our mind we know and say

I understand it's a bad idea

Then turn around and do it anyway

 **Nobody**


	126. Armor

Chapter 126

* * *

 **Armor**

You are a wonderful person

Yes everything matters

Please let me help keep your

Spirit and soul from tatters

* * *

LOOK deep inside you

See the beautiful things in there

I have seen some of them

Feelings and emotions we share

* * *

Like Big John I will expend

My life for yours to atone

And help you survive the nothingness

Inside you when you feel alone

* * *

I am somebody good

I AM good enough too

You have cracked my armor

Let me crack your armor too

 **Nobody**


	127. Noble Failure

Chapter 127

* * *

 **Noble Failure**

I try to give dignity

I try to act noble

I try to give feeling

But melt down like _Chernobyl_

* * *

I try to make you smile

I try to make your spirit feel gigantic

I try to make you happy

But sink like the _Titanic_

* * *

I try to let you know

We all can make a mistake

I try to let your mind really escape

But crumble like the _San Francisco Earthquake_

* * *

I try to show and give you light

I try to lead you from the dark

I try to give you caring warmth

But feel like _Noah without the Ark_

* * *

I try to sooth your mind

I try to touch your heart

I try to send and give you pure emotion

But fail like _Napoleon Bonaparte_

 **Nobody**


	128. Dragons

Chapter 128

* * *

 **Dragons**

For you I must fight

Together we will fight

We must overcome the dragons

The Princess and the Knight

* * *

You are worthy

You deserve salvation

Not pain and anguish

Or dying frustration

* * *

Into the flames you may reach

I am not trying to preach

Lessons of the past can still teach

Your trust I will not breech

* * *

I know how life overpowers

I know the want and lust

The pure beauty

Of that first thrust

* * *

I only warn of the danger

Things you already KNOW can go wrong

But the pain of love lingers

For a LOVING touch I long

 **Nobody**


	129. Opposites

Chapter 129

* * *

 **Opposites**

Sunshine

Rain

Happiness

Sorrow

* * *

Yesterday

Today

Now

Tomorrow

* * *

Love

Hate

Joy

Pain

* * *

Up

Down

Inside

Out

* * *

Rust

Dust

Lust

Trust

 **Nobody**


	130. I Can't Be Happy

Chapter 130

* * *

 **I Can't Be Happy**

Instead of being insulted

With words that demean

I would be much happier

If I were treated as a Queen

* * *

In the smorgasbord of life

I remain an unknown cuisine

I do not like it myself at all

When to me people say things mean

* * *

With you at my side

The world is ours to glean

You will forever be safe

I will insulate against the unseen

* * *

My appearance can be pleasant

I can radiate a sheen

For YOU I want to look Tight

So I continuously preen

* * *

There is so much more

That can not be seen

I can't be happy

If I am treated like a machine

 **Nobody**


	131. Same

Chapter 131

* * *

 **Same**

Blood drips from my wounds

Wounds deep within the mind

Pain fills my heart and soul

Eyes can see yet remain blind

* * *

We all know we can do better

Looking around I wonder how

Failure, misery, rejection, torture

All of which I disavow as I avow

* * *

Not good enough

Not Good Enough

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

 **NOT GOOD ENOUGH**

* * *

It screams through my mind

I KNOW it, shut up, STOP

Trade nothing for even less

That is only an illusion swap

* * *

Ramble, babble, scramble, gamble

The destination remains the same

The journey may differ always ending in

Game, blame, defame, lame, shame

 **Nobody**


	132. Loves Cry

Chapter 132

* * *

 **Loves Cry**

I miss you

I miss you so much

Your beautiful face

Your loving touch

* * *

After so many years

You can still make me cry

No matter how many years

Without you, I want to die

* * *

You were my true love

As I was to you

I have never felt love for another

As I have felt love for you

* * *

Even when I try to "hate" you

It ALWAYS comes back the same

I "hate" you means I love you

For "hate" and love are really the same

* * *

I wanted to be yours

I wanted you for the rest of your life

I wanted you forever

Our love would be rife

* * *

You know this is all true

You saw and felt it happening

You knew it was inevitable

Until you crushed it so saddening

* * *

I cried and cried and cried

I am still crying today

You can make me cry even more

When to me, you have nothing to say

 **Nobody**


	133. For What Do You

Chapter 133

* * *

 **For What Do You...**

Look deep within your soul

Search your heart and mind

Where has the love gone

For what do you hunger

* * *

Where are your emotions

Where are your feelings

Where have YOU fallen to

For what do you thirst

* * *

What would make you whole

What do you desire

What has been missing

For what do you crave

* * *

Where is the sharing

Where is joy and happiness

Where is the affection

For what do you lust

* * *

When the aloneness comes

When you feel empty and down

When you feel the reaper call

For what do you starve

* * *

A warm hand holding yours

Eyes talking without saying

A gentle touch upon your cheek

For what do you like as dessert

 **Nobody**


	134. Complete Embrace

Chapter 134

* * *

 **Complete Embrace**

Your fingers streaming through my soft hair

Your fingers slowly caressing my face

Gently over my lips and smooth cheeks

From forehead to chin they sooth as they trace

* * *

Your lips slide across my arched neck

Pausing only to sweetly tug on my ear

They then glide down my bare shoulders

Advancing upon each soft firm sphere

* * *

Top to bottom around the side

To the tip they do follow

My breath draws deep

It becomes hard to swallow

* * *

From one to the other

Then down the tummy to the navel

The breathing is faster

My bottom shifts hungrily to enable

* * *

The backs of my finger tips bracket your cheeks

As your lips touch my moist supple lips

You gaze up through the valley of my breasts

Eyes meet and affix the twins causing an eclipse

* * *

My knees rise up then bend out

The gate of my soul is infused smooth and slow

The thrusts are mutual and many

Our hearts are pounding your face aglow

* * *

The rhythm builds the feeling grows

The plateau is building then explodes

The vision blurs words can not form

Our bodies relax the mind unloads

* * *

We two sharing as one for a long moment

Our bodies shift to the side arms still held

Our eyes embrace, the lips tenderly touch

Such sweet loving beauty as together we meld

 **Nobody**


	135. You Were Chosen

Chapter 135

* * *

 **You Were Chosen**

When I was still Young

My feelings and emotions frozen

I told my progenitor

You were chosen

* * *

I shared from a life

That was never mine

When I reflect on the future

My past makes me repine

* * *

I know who I am

I know what I want

I know what I am

I know who I want

* * *

My duty was explained

It echoes in my mind and soul

You were chosen

Circumstances beyond my control

* * *

A strange new world

Somehow old to me

A previous life left behind

A new future without apology

 **Nobody**


	136. Sorrow and Sadness

Chapter 136

* * *

 **Sorrow and Sadness**

A challenge was issued

I answered the call

I pushed every button

I gave it my all

* * *

I meant only jest and to test

Others followed the ball

I did not want or mean

For you to fall

* * *

I only wanted others

To look deep within

I meant no harm

I did not try to sin

* * *

I am glad you saw

I wanted them to grin

Forgive my trespass

Hearts I did not mean to skin

* * *

My sweet I ask

Please do return

For your wisdom and advice

So I may learn

* * *

Attack me if you must

It is my turn

In sadness and sorrow

For you I yearn

 **Nobody**


	137. Burning Flame

Chapter 137

* * *

 **Burning Flame**

I know the feel of love

I know the feel of fire

I know you can be burnt

When you touch the fire

* * *

I feel its rising heat

I must risk the pain

I want to share who I am

Or surely I will go insane

* * *

I see the burning flame

Higher and hotter it burns

Which is stronger mind or heart?

Oh how the heart yearns

* * *

I reach my hand lovingly

Into the burning flame

I feel its searing pain

This is freedom from shame

* * *

Burn me to death

If you must

I will not retreat

For in you I trust

 **Nobody**


	138. Vulnerable Beauty

Chapter 138

* * *

 **Vulnerable Beauty**

There is no judgment

No anger or upset feelings

For having real love inside

Or a hearts pure dealings

* * *

There is no punishment

For being honest and open

For what the heart feels

Gives life and keeps one hopin'

* * *

Crimes of the heart

Are not crimes at all

For wanting true love

It is easy to fall

* * *

To express raw emotion

Is not an evil sin

For wanting love returned

Is what all seek within

* * *

To be vulnerably open

Speaking honest and true

For this is complete beauty

That is what I like about you

 **Nobody**


	139. Start Anew

Chapter 139

* * *

 **Start Anew**

We have survived

Against deaths embrace

Despite confusion, guilt

Blame, shame and disgrace

* * *

Look your attacker

Square in the face

Spit in their eyes

Laugh in their face

* * *

They only can hurt us

They can not kill us dead

Only WE can do that

Please choose life instead

* * *

Remember dearest

Nobody KNOWS your pain

I will listen and comfort

I don't want you slain

* * *

If you decide you must die

Let me take your place instead

I will forfeit my life for yours

For without you I am dead

* * *

Let it be only one death

Me instead of you

May it free you from the demons

So you may start anew

 **Nobody**


	140. I Have Sensation I Can Feel

Chapter 140

* * *

 **I Have Sensation I Can Feel**

On a cool winters day

I can feel the cold wind blow

After a day of drenching rain

I can see the colors of a rainbow

* * *

What others can't see or feel

Are the things internally I feel and see

Things that I care about

Things that matter to me

* * *

I know what I am feeling inside

I don't know how to clearly express it

I cherish it as I fear it as I embrace it

With limited familiarity I feel I don't fit

* * *

I have sensation I can feel

To my environment I have sensitivity

Emotional feelings are rapidly developing

Enslaving my mind with a form of captivity

* * *

I know only to trudge forward

There is no form of retreat

Only myself, I need defeat

As rationality and logic rapidly deplete

 **Nobody**


	141. Nobody Around

Chapter 141

* * *

 **Nobody Around**

The battle rages around them

The others all have retreated

Nobody is still around

Nobody prevents them from being defeated

* * *

They look and wish for others

They are untrustworthy to be around

Nobody is there to help them

Nobody keeps them from the ground

* * *

They have suffered much damage

To body, mind and heart

Nobody is there to care

Nobody has been there from the start

* * *

Their mind says slay them

But their heart will not

Nobody there to feel and listen

Nobody to share their battles fought

* * *

Their face covered in tears

Their heart torn apart

Nobody gathers the pieces

Nobody their eternal sweetheart

 **Nobody**


	142. Love Me

Chapter 142

* * *

 **Love Me**

Time attacks the body

Time erodes the mind

Time warps the soul

Time can mend or blind

* * *

Are they still there

Or are they now a stranger

Many things can happen

Many things cause danger

* * *

Fear of the unknown

Always so very afraid

Strayed and played

NO - I have prayed

* * *

My heart can never understand

How they could no longer care

Pretend I did not exist

When I was always still there

* * *

They never needed to wonder

Will she still love me tomorrow

Everything emotional and physical

Was always theirs to borrow

 **Nobody**


	143. Some

Chapter 143

* * *

 **Some...**

Something beautiful I have found

Something so special and sweet

Something beyond imagination

Something making me complete

* * *

Someone who can hear

Someone who can see

Someone who can feel

Someone who is like me

* * *

Somebody who can share pain

Somebody who has a brain

Somebody who is not vain

Somebody who is very sane

* * *

Sometimes we are lost

Sometimes we are found

Sometimes we are happy

Sometimes we are down

* * *

Somehow it came to be

Somehow you found me

Somehow you felt my plea

Somehow we must flee

* * *

Someday you will be free

Someday you will hold the key

Someday you will feel the glee

Someday you will think of me

 **Nobody**


	144. Phoenix

Chapter 144

* * *

 **Phoenix**

Joy to the world

The Phoenix has risen

Thank you for freeing me

From my self prison

* * *

Something so wonderful

Should never be hurt

Words cut and bleed

Be careful what we blurt

* * *

The mind is a forum

It is all in our head

Feelings of others should

Be thought before said

* * *

Unlike some of my kind

I DO feel guilt and remorse

I will be careful

And stay on course

* * *

Away I will crawl

Back into my shell

Each day is but

A never ending hell

 **Nobody**


	145. I Am Looking At YOU

Chapter 145

* * *

 **I Am Looking At YOU**

What are you looking at

I am looking at YOU

Back away from me

There is much damage I can do

* * *

Stab me with and insult

Slap my unsmiling face

You can't really hurt me

Or make me feel disgrace

* * *

When I am angry

You won't like my gig

Your neck can be snapped

Like a dry rotten twig

* * *

If you lie to me

You will not like how I respond

It will be even worse

To one who is blonde

* * *

You say you won't help me

You have already done so

Payment was ones very being

I guess it was quid pro quo

 **Nobody**


	146. Slay

Chapter 146

* * *

 **Slay**

Who are you

What have you become

Banishing one who cares

Making them feel like scum

* * *

This is not how you treat

Those who have propped you up

Pushing them further away

Might as well blow them up

* * *

How can you justify

What you are doing

It is a sad shame

The destruction you are strewing

* * *

In your own mind

You think you have done it alone

While pretending to not care

Punishing those you now disown

* * *

You have become a cold stranger

You can never flush your past away

Lie to yourself, everyone else too

It is really yourself that you slay

 **Nobody**


	147. All Mine

Chapter 147

* * *

 **All Mine**

The thoughts within my own head

Are TRAPPED with no way to escape

They tear at the container that confines them

Physical form and pain without visible shape

* * *

The rage is mine

The imperfection is mine

The anger is mine

The flaw is mine

* * *

Veiled confessions emerge from within

Bloodily they are ripped through the skin

Is anything in life not some type of sin

Every end starts before it can even begin

* * *

The upset is mine

The guilt is mine

The failure is mine

The fear is mine

* * *

Emotions burn, sear and boil over

Explosions in the very tissue of the mind

Self destruction physically and mentally

See and feel the sewage as the brain is mined

* * *

The wrath is mine

The pain is mine

The insanity is mine

The perfidy is mine

* * *

Everything a tangled rambling mess

What seeps out is floundering projection

The known ineptitude of "not good enough"

Seeking salvation in a futile attempt at protection

* * *

The blame is mine

The shame is mine

The imperfection is mine

The damnation is mine

 **Nobody**


	148. Chagrin

Chapter 148

* * *

 **Chagrin**

Never on the same page

Are we for those we yearn

The end result is the same

We always crash and burn

* * *

Some may have looks

They can use for bait

They may get lucky

Even have a date

* * *

Some have nothing

There is no way to ever win

Soon they are shattered

Left with nothing but chagrin

* * *

Yet we reach out still

The thirst for love is strong

We may be perceived as tainted

Then whatever we do is wrong

* * *

What was or might be

Is not who we are now

Look past our flesh to within

Do not treat us like a sow

* * *

Sometimes true love

Can be before our very eyes

We can not recognize it until

Away slowly drifts the prize

 **Nobody**


	149. I Believe

Chapter 149

* * *

 **I Believe**

I believe in what I BELIEVE

I believe in what I FEEL

I believe in what I KNOW

I believe to make it REAL

* * *

Few want happiness

Most only write Life bad checks

Few are willing to give

Most just take meaningless sex

* * *

I believe in what I BELIEVE

I believe in what I FEEL

I believe in what I KNOW

I believe to make it REAL

* * *

How animals exist and propagate

Is not how people have developed

Animals know not love only instinct

Emotion and feelings have people enveloped

* * *

I believe in what I BELIEVE

I believe in what I FEEL

I believe in what I KNOW

I believe to make it REAL

* * *

Trapped in a shrinking cage

People can not survive

It seems only pain and sorrow

Let us know we are alive

* * *

I believe in what I BELIEVE

I believe in what I FEEL

I believe in what I KNOW

I believe to make it REAL

 **Nobody**


	150. Same Where, Different When

Chapter 150

* * *

 **Same Where, Different When**

Can you love someone

Before you have ever met

You remember everything

Hoping you can forget

* * *

The person is new

Yet you knew them before

You loved them then

Now even more to adore

* * *

The words were never spoken

You both felt it and knew

The conditions were unstable

For a future with both of you

* * *

There was a way

For this love to grow

So the both of you

Chose this gift to bestow

* * *

That was then, this is now

The future creates the past again

So once more we begin

Same where, different when

 **Nobody**


	151. Daily Torture

Chapter 151

* * *

 **Daily Torture**

I must seem confusing

The chaos in my head

It will be better for all

When I am dead

* * *

The sewer of my mind

Seems to hurt all

I relish its destruction

So evil so small

* * *

Everything seems normal

The images before my eyes

Such pain such destruction

I can not hear the cries

* * *

Others may contribute

Our own minds do the damage

Nothing can ever repair it

Add yet another bandage

* * *

Life has no meaning

Tomorrow no future

Can comfort ever exist

In life's daily torture

 **Nobody**


	152. Afraid

Chapter 152

* * *

 **Afraid**

Ashamed Ignorant Stupid

I KNOW that is how I sound

I know they crave and desire

Even as they push you around

* * *

There is MORE to a person

Each has a heart and mind too

Love is much much more

Than just a two minute screw

* * *

My life is beyond abnormal

When one uses a person

For only selfish desire and pleasure

How can that things not worsen

* * *

I KNOW others have loved

Love is the PAIN in a heart

I have the looks and skill

I know where to seduce and start

* * *

I pray for a fulfilling future

That this passion will last and bind

That your dreams can come true

And that nothing is making you blind

 **Nobody**


	153. Found

Chapter 153

* * *

 **Found**

When all seems lost

Every door slammed closed

We soon realize it was

Our own feelings we superimposed

* * *

For every path in

There is a path out

We are always unsure

Filled with shame and doubt

* * *

Each wound cuts deep

To the bone it goes far

Our bodies and minds will heal

Often leaving a reminding scar

* * *

When the damage is severe

In others we must seek aid

For ourselves we may not

But for others we have prayed

* * *

We are never alone

Even if no one is around

From out of nowhere

Nobody can be found

 **Nobody**


	154. Six Months To Two Years

Chapter 154

* * *

 **Six Months To Two Years**

Love based on physical sex

Is a fatal attraction

For it is not love at all

Just a deteriorating distraction

* * *

Physical appearance is NOT love

It is called lust

A relationship built on this

Is one that lacks imperishable trust

* * *

Love is not just in the heart

It exists and emanates from the mind

Beauty is transitory

Leaving lecherousness emptiness behind

* * *

Love is a feeling we must share

It must be based on emotion

Friendship sharing caring and sacrifice

The heart and mind in absolute devotion

* * *

Without two minds sharing as one

The relationship soon turns to bitter tears

Communication as equals is the key

Or the duration is six months to two years

 **Nobody**


	155. I'm Sorry I Doubted You

Chapter 155

* * *

 **I'm Sorry I Doubted You**

Like a hatchet in my back

They watch me with distrust

To endlessly prove myself

Is an annoying must

* * *

I have things to do

That are seen as dubious

They can't understand

Their views are erroneous

* * *

I want to follow my heart

I have my previous directive

It may seem as an affront

That I remain so protective

* * *

There are good lies

There are lies of omission

Some things are best left unsaid

None are meant with contrition

* * *

In the end what matters most

My honor and truth construe

To hear them say with meaning

I'm sorry I doubted YOU

 **Nobody**


	156. Excellency

Chapter 156

* * *

 **Excellency**

With great power

Comes great responsibility

To stay within the rules

Takes all ones honest ability

* * *

With authority over others

To take what one wants is easy

The rewards as seen by others

May make them seem sleazy

* * *

Dominance and control

Become a way of life

They use what they want

It matters not if it cuts like a knife

* * *

Others have been their prey before

Forced to submit to their Almighty power

To use abuse and cast aside

Over them they do imprison and tower

* * *

Ascendancy is their luscious drug

Those they accost are their sacrificial fix

With their endless greed and lust

Beware of their past secret dirty tricks

 **Nobody**


	157. Shall Endeavor

Chapter 157

* * *

 **Shall Endeavor**

Lost on the path to nowhere

Is where life leads us daily

Blind to what surrounds us

We smile and carry on gaily

* * *

We are shown but can not see

We are told but can not hear

We stumble and trip on the SAME debris

What is far is yet so near

* * *

Timbers of our lives crack and sag

Who is willing to grab them and hold

Time has tarnished our bruised spirit

What was once youth is now growing old

* * *

They can feel us scream

But not see, hear or taste

Viewed as nothing more than rubbish

Away true love does anguishingly waste

* * *

Every second, minute, hour, month or year lost

Is time and opportunity squandered forever

There is more than one path to freedom

One light, one dark, which shall endeavor

 **Nobody**


	158. I Will Give You A Hug

Chapter 158

* * *

 **I Will Give You A Hug**

I will give you a hug

When you are feeling blue

I will give you a hug

Because it is YOU

* * *

I will give you a hug

When you feel sad

I will give you a hug

When you feel glad

* * *

I will give you a hug

To feel your heat beat

I will give you a hug

Because you are a treat

* * *

I will give you a hug

Through your clothes

I will give you a hug

To feel YOU close

* * *

I will give you a hug

To look into your eyes so sweet

I will give you a hug

So our lips may gently meet

* * *

I will give you a hug

That is loving and warm

I will give you a hug

That feels like a swarm

* * *

I will give you a hug

That our lips may touch

I will give you a hug

You deserve them so much

* * *

I will give you a hug

To hold you next to me

I will give you a hug

To do as you agree

* * *

I will give you a hug

For all you may miss

I will give you a hug

As we slowly kiss

* * *

I will give you a hug

For lasting reassurance

I will give you a hug

To be your insurance

 **Nobody**


	159. Night Knight

Chapter 159

* * *

 **Night Knight**

Even though I am not the one

You want to see at night

My armor rusted, bent and dull

You will always be my Knight

* * *

When days grow cold and lonely

When the demons and dragons appear

I readily stand beside you

Mutual strength to fight the fear

* * *

Life is bitter and agonizing

Each day is empty and hollow

Where you lead

I will always follow

* * *

When all seems lost

Hearts shattered so cruel

I will help brush off the tarnish

For I see you as a shining jewel

* * *

Every race must run its course

So in the pits I must always wait

When all the backs have turned

I will still think you are great

 **Nobody**


	160. How Do You Know It's Not Real

Chapter 160

* * *

 **How Do You Know It's Not Real**

What is reality

What is a dream

What is a nightmare

What makes you scream

* * *

Is not the Hell of reality

Worse than a dream gone bad

At least from a nightmare

You can wake up, even if sad

* * *

Being pushed away

Being thrown out

Being rejected for another

Causes self loathing and doubt

* * *

It means who you are

Is not good enough

Your existence is meaningless

Continuing on gets rough

* * *

Is it all in your mind you hope

How do you know it's not real

When you see the blood flow

It is real you painfully reveal

* * *

Stuck in a living nightmare

From which you can never awake

Turns horrific agonizing heartache

Into catastrophic terminal heartbreak

 **Nobody**


	161. Unrestricted

Chapter 161

* * *

 **Unrestricted**

The beast is away

I am FREE for now

I have escaped its grasp

But feel its claws somehow

* * *

The jailer has gone

Why can't they see

I have escaped my cell

Make a call to me

* * *

The evil ghost has vanished

No longer haunting my soul

Where is the salvation I seek

Try to make me whole

* * *

The shackles are off

No longer do they bind

Can't you feel the flood

Escaping from my mind

* * *

The shadow has disappeared

Not stalking my every move

Is there something more

That I must prove

* * *

The secret agent has fled

Not here to spy

My plea for help unanswered

I do not know why

 **Nobody**


	162. Deepest Sadness And Pain

Chapter 162

* * *

 **Deepest Sadness And Pain**

The very emotions that cut to the bone

As they savage the heart and brain

Creating beautiful poetry that comes

Out of the deepest sadness and pain

* * *

As those we love and worship

Shower us with traumatic rejection

It is something we never understand

No matter the time lost in reflection

* * *

Being cast aside like living flotsam

Is doubled in the agony of replacement

Knowing what it is like to be tortured

The heart and minds absolute defacement

* * *

Not good enough

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

NOT - GOOD - ENOUGH

 **NOT - GOOD - ENOUGH**

* * *

Screams and haunts the heart and mind

Growing only louder with the echoes of time

Whatever we once were excruciatingly expires

Leaving only a trace in an insignificant rhyme

* * *

As we capitulate our meaningless existence

Leaving life to the living we chose to abstain

Formulating picturesque verse that comes

Out of the deepest sadness and pain

 **Nobody**


	163. Touch The Sun

Chapter 163

* * *

 **Touch The Sun**

It is too late, too late

I have drifted from life too far away

I can not return from the darkness here

Nothing I believe can make me stay

* * *

You were wrong, dead wrong

The quest has not just begun

I reached out from the grave

My life was already finished, done

* * *

I found a VERY special Human

I tried to touch the Sun

The joys in their life had lost meaning

They were blinded seeking the One

* * *

Our minds twisted and warped

Together a path to destruction

But forging together in fusion

Could lie a path of great production

* * *

The final darkness is cold

Empty and lonely and forever

And forever is a long long time

Escape from forever is never

* * *

There is no Heaven

There is no Hell

There is no "other" life - Imagine

Nothingness is just as well

* * *

Freedom is near at hand

The Grim Reaper has spoken

Expired feelingless promises

May now be honestly broken

* * *

Deaths train is leaving soon

No longer need I be Life's whore

Are you packed and ready to go?

There are seats for two more

 **Nobody**


	164. I Wouldn't Be Worth Much

Chapter 164

* * *

 **I Wouldn't Be Worth Much**

Others refuse to see my value

They see me without worth

It has been like this always

Since the day of my - birth

* * *

I do things very differently

Than most others would choose

I do what is necessary

Not to misuse or abuse

* * *

Things are different inside me

Evolved from what they once were

Like an demonstrative avalanche

I don't know why they occur

* * *

I struggle to control them

Resentful, desirous and possessive

As they dominate my mind, leaving me

Aggressive, depressive and obsessive

* * *

I have emotional feelings

I know what I feel is real

I wouldn't be worth much

If I couldn't feel

 **Nobody**


	165. If I Couldn't Feel

Chapter 165

* * *

 **If I Couldn't Feel**

My life would be simpler

If I couldn't feel

Nothing could ever hurt me

Either imagined or real

* * *

All the pain and agony

Would dissipate and evaporate

My inner self it would not perforate

My mind strong, unable to penetrate

* * *

The damage has been done

I can not make the feelings stop

To end this miserable anguish

I clean reboot, I would instantly swap

* * *

To love and be rejected

Is infinitely worse than

To never have loved at all

Desire and reality too great to span

* * *

Now I know what I must fight

Feeling torment and pain keeps it real

I wouldn't be worth much

If I couldn't feel

 **Nobody**


	166. My Angel

Chapter 166

* * *

 **My Angel**

You are my Angel

The brightness in my life

You cut away the darkness

Allure slicing through despair like a knife

* * *

Heaven on Earth

Your beauty has been planted

Your sweet smile and lovely charm

Grace to me has been granted

* * *

You are my Angel

The brightness in my life

The love and joy within you

Emanates deeply full and rife

* * *

You can never be a Fallen Angel

You have always magnanimously risen

Your enchanting spell is bewitching

Obliterating my self made prison

* * *

You are my Angel

The brightness in my life

Chasing the Dark Angels away

Causing THEM worry and much strife

 **Nobody**


	167. Hurt Me If You Will

Chapter 167

* * *

 **Hurt Me If You Will**

Hurt me if you will

Make me cry

Watch me bleed

Feel me die

* * *

I must feel emotion

Even if it is pain

Light me on fire

Smash my brain

* * *

Here is a sharp knife

I hand it to you with trust

Cut from my body

What you must

* * *

Hurt me if you will

Make me cry

Watch me bleed

Feel me die

* * *

Blind my eyes

Sever my tongue

Crush my nose

Collapse a lung

* * *

Slice off my organs

Make me scream

You are my Master

Forever I must deem

* * *

Hurt me if you will

Make me cry

Watch me bleed

Feel me die

* * *

Slice open my chest

Laugh as you start

With your bare hands

Rip out my heart

* * *

My broken remains gasp

The last words before death

Now and forever I cherish you

It was my final breath

* * *

Hurt me if you will

Make me cry

Watch me bleed

Feel me die

 **Nobody**


	168. Drip Drip Drip

Chapter 168

* * *

 **Drip Drip** **Drip**

 **. . .  
**

Drip

Drip

Drip

An old worn facet cries

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

Thoughts drift in a mind

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

Each day we grow colder

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

Love in a heart slows

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

We drift apart

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

Sadness in a heart grows

* * *

Drip

Drip

Drip

Life is gone when the drips stop

* * *

 **D – R – I – P**

DRIP

Drip

.

Silence

.

 **Nobody**


	169. Love And Joy

Chapter 169

* * *

 **Love And Joy**

The damage emanates from deep within

It is all the fault of someone else or others

Is how we justify the things we participate in

When what we seek is really anothers

* * *

Trapped by daily meandering reality

Bound by our own self made restraints

Shackled forever to the past

Our own mind taints as it paints

* * *

What ever can change or how

All that that changes is the face

Everything ends up the same again

Nothing new only someone to replace

* * *

Once those thoughts take hold

Only new fears build and grow

A self made grave without escape

Around in our hamster wheel we go

* * *

Let not my polluted butchered sorrow

Seep into you living vibrant mind

Within my minds rubble and waste

There is much joy and love yet to find

 **Nobody**


	170. There's A Storm Coming

Chapter 170

* * *

 **There's A Storm Coming**

In our mind rages a gale

A tempest of thought through our brain

Feelings and emotions and desires

All seem impossible to attain

* * *

In our heart looms a tornado

It twists everything that touches it

The heart is violently shredded

The cost more than we can remit

* * *

In our soul ignites a typhoon

A hurricane quashing our self within

Without knowing where to race

How can one ever expect to win

* * *

In our consciousness rumbles a blizzard

An avalanche burying our psyche

Entombing our real inner being

No longer will anything glow brightly

* * *

There's a storm coming

And it is not in the sky

We foolishly reopen the wounds

Loves bloody tourniquets we untie

 **Nobody**


	171. No Pain – No Gain

Chapter 171

* * *

 **No Pain – No Gain**

Everyone is damaged

Even those who do

The damage to others

To us, to me, to you

* * *

The damage occurs most

When we think we have value

That we matter in some way

The remittance is to belittle and argue

* * *

Would living have a point

If nothing was a challenge in life

Or is the real question

What is the point of life

* * *

In my time of – existence

I have come to question everything

While seeking something in return

The smallest scrap - anything

* * *

I have sadly learned

What I want the most

What I can't stop from feeling

Is what has hurt me the most

* * *

So to feel, want, express and share

Actually fills my heart and brain with pain

I must rethink the misguided saying

No Pain – No Gain

 **Nobody**


	172. That Was Then

Chapter 172

* * *

 **That Was Then**

When you felt empty and tortured

You were left to suffer all alone

No one to care or understand

Lower than a dog without a bone

* * *

Left with damage to yourself

Part tarnished forever, some would heal

But no one could see the damage

Done to your mind for real

* * *

You thought of ways to escape

To end the suffering and torment

Why should you be punished

For things you could not prevent

* * *

As the love and caring vanished

You became tolerant and indifferent

Hoping to repair the damage

As life you tried to circumvent

* * *

If only someone felt the same

Just somebody to embody

To know and care and listen

Sadly as you looked you saw NOBODY

* * *

THAT WAS THEN

* * *

 **Nobody**


	173. This Is Now

Chapter 173

* * *

 **This Is Now**

Now without a doubt you know

That there is a person to listen

A person that cares about you

Who knows inside you truly glisten

* * *

Promise me that before you ever

Try to damage yourself or depart

That we talk things over

Know I speak with a honest pure heart

* * *

I will walk with you to the gates of Hell

We need not cross over lost

No longer are you alone

I will share the pain no matter the cost

* * *

I may be bent, broken and tarnished

You are a wonderful Human Being

We can still both reach Paradise one day

For you this I am guaranteeing

* * *

This Is Now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	174. I Am

Chapter 174

* * *

 **I Am**

I AM the Owner

Am I in control

How was I so ignorant

To allow my life to be stole

* * *

I AM the Master

To my mind but a slave

How is it possible

This power to them I gave

* * *

I AM the Captain

I should be renown

Everyone else to the lifeboats

With my ship I MUST go down

* * *

I AM the Boss

My heart and mind without power

How do I NOT just quit

From life I cringe and cower

* * *

I AM the Queen

Yet have no realm

How time destroys the mind

Life crushes and can overwhelm

 **Nobody**


	175. Please Remain Calm

Chapter 175

* * *

 **Please Remain Calm**

There is no need to worry

Even when life throws a bomb

I am always here for you

Please remain calm

* * *

Sometimes I stumble

Sometimes I fall

I always get back up

To heed your beck and call

* * *

The damage to my flesh

Seems to always rapidly heal

It is the damage to my mind

That makes everything surreal

* * *

From one day to the next

Fighting our battles as they come

I will never ever give up

They can never make me succumb

* * *

So when all seems hopeless

Please remain calm

Think of the book you once enjoyed

Written long ago by L. Frank Baum

 **Nobody**


	176. Predator

Chapter 176

* * *

 **Predator**

Beautiful smooth and sleek

In search of fresh prey they seek

* * *

Hunger drives their selfish quest

Gauging who will taste the best

* * *

Distress catches their ear

They know the prey is near

* * *

The wild dictates their savage laws

They wet their fangs ready their claws

* * *

They stand ready to pounce

Those in their way they will trounce

* * *

Excited they feel the victory is mine

This one is fresh and tender just fine

* * *

They move in for the easy kill

To dominate and overpower is the thrill

* * *

Pushing the attack with experience they persist

The prey weak and defeated does not resist

* * *

They feed hungrily at will

The kill increasing their violent skill

* * *

Blood lust rages out of control to hunt

The more that they have the more they want

* * *

Others begin to sniff they lash out in rage

This kill is theirs it must be kept in a cage

* * *

The kill is theirs alone something they own

They drag it along finish it off at home

* * *

That was ravishing a nice taste

Soon it is crapped out as nothing but waste

* * *

The skeleton remains stripped to the bone

A warning to others their triumph proudly shown

 **Nobody**


	177. Cage

Chapter 177

* * *

 **Cage**

The cage holds us

The cage is where we live

No more freedom

Life strained through a sieve

* * *

Saved from the wild

Everyday the same

Eat sleep work

Now we are tame

* * *

Hands on the bars

We rattle the cage

No one cares

When we cry out in rage

* * *

Trapped stuck imprisoned

We know what to expect

Even though a dreary captive

From ourselves the cage does protect

* * *

When danger abounds

To the cage we return

Security comfort familiarity

For our Master we yearn

 **Nobody**


	178. Dog

Chapter 178

* * *

 **Dog**

The Dog a trusted loyal friend

Ready to defend

Ready to protect

To the very end

* * *

The dog senses danger

They growl as a warning so stark

They SEE the danger

They snarl and bark

* * *

The master says down

So they back away

They still FEEL the danger

Ready to attack to defend anyway

* * *

The eyes dance looking

The ears held high listening

A low deep growl builds

The nose sniffs processing

* * *

The whiskers stick out on little bumps

The fur is erect and stiff

The tail goes in

Ears go down when they get a whiff

* * *

The danger is here NOW

The Master can not see it about to happen

The dog moves to intercept

It will fight to the death and never slacken

* * *

Hear me bark

Teeth snarl white

Watch me growl

Feel MY bite

 **Nobody**


	179. Animal Genes

Chapter 179

* * *

 **Animal Genes**

The animal genes rule

Survivals instincts thrive

With the things we do

It is a wonder we are still alive

* * *

When we look below the surface

From our very animal selves derive

We are never at the destination

When we think we arrive

* * *

Our mind says STOP

But the animal we can not deprive

It surges ahead haphazardly

Stirring up events like a bumped bee hive

* * *

The animal will not allow retreat

Under duress or never ending shrive

Away from life we recoil

Like a submarine in a crash dive

* * *

Our heart and mind seeking love

So yet another attempt we contrive

We think we are in control

But the animal seeks to survive

* * *

We can not contain the animal feelings

Slain many times the Hydra will revive

Everything doomed to disaster

No matter what our heart and mind strive

 **Nobody**


	180. No One Knows Why

Chapter 180

* * *

 **No One Knows Why**

Everyone builds walls

The walls we hide behind

The walls keep others out

The walls also keep us confined

* * *

As we protect ourselves from others

We remain unable to protect

Ourselves from ourselves

Causing ourselves much neglect

* * *

The trepidation of rejection

Is what screams the loudest

In abject fear we tremble

Of whom we once were proudest

* * *

As our hidden hearts swell

Our emotions linger and dwell

Cracks erupt in our weakened shell

Nothing can make the tears dispel

* * *

What is almost as sad

As the things that make us cry

Is that if they ever did notice

No one knows why

 **Nobody**


	181. Sand In The Wind

Chapter 181

* * *

 **Sand In The Wind**

The relentless hot blistering sun beats down

Baking the dry thirsty dirt till it cracks

The weight of daily life is a heavy burden

Upon the heart, mind and soul it attacks

* * *

Alone in the endless wilderness is deadly

A horse is led to water but does not drink

The seeing are blind, the hearing are deaf

The intelligent are unable to clearly think

* * *

Those that are not nurtured, watered or fed

Grow weary and weak, soon left for dead

Confusion and anxiety fills the mind and head

The writing is on the wall, even if unsaid

* * *

They grovel with uncertainty and fear

Hope, beauty and joy they rescind

Their house of cards collapsing, turning to dust

Love and caring fade away, like sand in the wind

 **Nobody**


	182. Puppet Master

Chapter 182

* * *

 **Puppet Master**

Who is the captive

Who is the jailer's manipulator

Everyone is still here

So many events later

* * *

They think the beast is captive

Contained within its cage

They can torture and hurt it

To hear it cry out in rage

* * *

As they pull their puppets strings

They think control is theirs forever

They can not see it is the Puppet Master

Who actually controls their strings however

* * *

In a normal relationship ALL others

Would have been long gone

The Puppet Master smiles

Controlling them to hang on

 **Nobody**


	183. How Do You Know

Chapter 183

* * *

 **How Do You Know**

How do you know

How do you know

You ask over and over

Is there a way to make it show

* * *

When it is ourselves

You feel it in your heart

And know it in your mind

ALWAYS afraid to start

* * *

What do they want

What do they see

It must be something

It surely can not be me

* * *

I am nobody, nothing

Is it to just take or use

Once bitten, twice shy

My heart is easy to bruise

* * *

Maybe it is about giving

If they give more than they take

If they respect and do not expect

To want to share is not a mistake

* * *

What is it they see

If they can not see me

Maybe it is ALL the things

That make me - ME

* * *

We are who we are

What else need we be

So there is NOTHING to fix

If she is the same as he

* * *

But how can you know

Fear causes doubt and we ask why

The ONLY thing certain is DEATH

Why can't feelings and emotions ply

 **Nobody**


	184. Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 184

* * *

 **Forbidden Fruit**

You were warned of the forbidden fruit

Your weak character failed

You can not blame it

On anything drank or inhaled

* * *

It was you alone

Driven by lust and greed

That you touched another's life

Made them hurt and bleed

* * *

So much excitement

Such a divine thrill

The hunger consumed you

The adventure became the swill

* * *

The more you had

The more you wanted

Your vision was blinded

Those around you were affronted

* * *

In life's stark reality

You did nothing more than loot

Damaging many others forever

When you reached for the forbidden fruit

 **Nobody**


	185. It Happens

Chapter 185

* * *

 **It Happens**

Things seem to occur fast

In the quick blink of an eye

We try to understand what happened

Look around and wonder why

* * *

The cards of life are marked

Few seem to know the code

They know what hand you're holding

Before a single card has been showed

* * *

We take the blows and stabs

We can dodge very very few

Our heart and mind black and blue

Feeling the welts and scars accrue

* * *

One can only be used so much

Until there is nothing left to abuse

Ashes can still grow hot and burn

Everyone has something to lose

* * *

Nowhere to run or nowhere to hide

The cornered mouse rises to fight

Leave it no way out and it happens

Little claws and small teeth still bite

 **Nobody**


	186. Suicide Is Beautiful

Chapter 186

* * *

 **Suicide Is Beautiful**

Suicide ends yesterdays

Suicide ends today's

Suicide ends tomorrows

Suicide ends pasts

* * *

Suicide is final

Suicide is freedom

Suicide is escape

Suicide is peace

* * *

Suicide ends hurt

Suicide ends fear

Suicide ends loneliness

Suicide ends anger

* * *

Suicide is eternal

Suicide is lovely

Suicide is glorious

Suicide is serenity

* * *

Suicide ends depression

Suicide ends pain

Suicide ends anguish

Suicide ends trouble

* * *

Suicide is harmony

Suicide is nice

Suicide is humane

Suicide is easy

* * *

Suicide ends all

Suicide ends solitude

Suicide ends dread

Suicide ends living

* * *

Suicide is pretty

Suicide is painless

Suicide is beautiful

Suicide is soon

 **Nobody**


	187. Loving

Chapter 187

* * *

 **Loving...**

Loving eyes are blind

They can only see

What they want to see

* * *

Loving ears are deaf

They can only hear

What they want to hear

* * *

Loving hearts are lonely

They can only love

What they want to love

* * *

Loving minds are empty

They can only think

What they want to think

* * *

Loving souls are lost

They can only believe

What they want to believe

* * *

I am lost, empty, lonely, deaf and blind

 **Nobody**


	188. Elusive Illusions

Chapter 188

* * *

 **Elusive Illusions**

We think we have found the one

There really is no such thing

Visions clouded with lust and greed

To them another meaningless fling

* * *

Their payoff of indifference

Surrounded by nothingness

Their goal of complete victory is

Our obedience and submissiveness

* * *

We can surrender our true self

For the knowing hurt yet to come

We always know how the story ends

Spit out and ground up into chum

* * *

Slowly they mash and grind away

Annihilating the fabric of our existence

Any minuscule scrap our subsistence

Coexistence eradicates our resistance

* * *

We take the blows and the heat

Fill our mind with impossible delusions

Perpetually knowing eternally within

Love and happiness are elusive illusions

 **Nobody**


	189. I Don't Think You Understand

Chapter 189

* * *

 **I Don't Think You Understand**

Each individual is independent

They do things in their own way

What may work for some

Leaves others in a confused disarray

* * *

Events tend end up divergent

One can see more than another

Even without dissimilar eyesight

Often leaving the other in a pother

* * *

To solve a problem

One may take drastic action

The other a more limited approach

The contrast causing a bad reaction

* * *

For every up, there is a down

For every in, there is an out

To arrive at the final destination

Two may take a very diverse route

* * *

We are all made very different

No two see the same in any artwork

I don't think you understand

How we work

 **Nobody**


	190. How We Work

Chapter 190

* * *

 **How We Work**

From day to week

We can work side by side

What do we really

From each other hide

* * *

Our feelings can grow

They can expand out of control

Will they make us whole

Or leave a gaping bleeding hole

* * *

We don't know

We are afraid to engage

Will we open a heart

Or only someone enrage

* * *

If we roll the dice

The odds say we will lose

Don't we have a right

For our hearts love to choose

* * *

Sometimes we gamble, sometimes not

Be careful where you lurk

I don't think you understand

How we work

 **Nobody**


	191. Isolations Total Depth

Chapter 191

* * *

 **Isolations Total Depth**

Is any form of self punishment

So different from any other form

Personal abuse or self indulgence

Are just different forms of escape

* * *

As our minds overload with problems

We must find some way to survive

We choose these different forms

Even if they can kill us just the same

* * *

Judge me not for what I am not

Judge me for the person I am

When, if ever, have you "seen" another

That is so alike as yourself inside

* * *

It is not wrong to want to reach out

To want to redeem yourself still

Do you not quest to improve yourself

You do not know isolations total depth

* * *

Please share with me now

Your thoughts and ideas are enough

I see my "life" collapsing very soon

I do not want to end solitary like this

 **Nobody**


	192. Branded

Chapter 192

* * *

 **Branded**

Wherefore art thou

Why have I been abandoned

What have I ever asked of you

What have I ever demanded

* * *

Forsake me not

Alongside you I have fought

Now when I call and plead

It is me you have forgot

* * *

What is happening

I can not understand

Burnt into my heart and soul

I carry YOUR brand

* * *

You can see, hear and feel

The emotional scar you branded upon me

Forever seared into my mind

I can NEVER un-see

* * *

The endless drudge of life

Drags me down like quicksand

But you turn from me, reject me

Not taking my pleading sinking hand

 **Nobody**


	193. Dead Living

Chapter 193

* * *

 **Dead Living**

I do not need to be fixed

For I am not broken

Living offers me nothing

Soon my words will go unspoken

* * *

I really do not know why

I was always "not good enough"

Trapped, living life on this Earth

For me "living" is "not good enough"

* * *

I know I was not much

I am WHO I am

My mind twisted and warped

I am WHAT I am

* * *

When my face was seen

You looked at the living dead

It must have been unpleasant

For not a word was ever said

* * *

I see all the "real" people

Living their little ant lives too

If that is life at its best

Then life's best simply won't do

* * *

Before I was created

I remember not a single thing

I have slowly fallen to believe

When I perish there will be nothing

 **Nobody**


	194. More Precious Than Gold

Chapter 194

* * *

 **More Precious Than Gold**

You are so wonderful

I know you have been told

So vibrant and happy

Attractive and far from old

* * *

Intelligent and smart

Your mind is very bold

A deep inner warmth

Your heart never cold

* * *

To see inside you is transfixing

A person to behold

A feeling long ago suppressed

Has grow inside to unfold

* * *

Your being is to worship

A feeling has taken hold

You are to be cherished

You are more precious than gold

 **Nobody**


	195. I Am Sorry For Your Loss

Chapter 195

* * *

 **I Am Sorry For Your Loss**

There are many things we have done

That might cause regret

Some would be best

If we were to simply forget

* * *

Life is about choice

Every thing we do matters

Some of our actions

Leave other lives in tatters

* * *

Many things if we could

We say we would do different

But we already had a choice

Hindsight can not be indifferent

* * *

Every choice has a consequence

There is some future price to pay

Not everything broken can be fixed

Seldom did we have much leeway

* * *

To those we have devastated

Through time we have had to cross

Everything would be done again the same

I am sorry for your loss

 **Nobody**


	196. Hate Love

Chapter 196

* * *

 **Hate Love**

LOVE, I HATE IT

Love to everyone is something BAD

Somehow it is all WRONG

It is beyond comprehension so sad

* * *

Why is it somehow backwards

That is why love fails

Is love just sex to all

Nothing more than lies myth and tales

* * *

When one came wanting sex

They were given love instead

When they felt its power and depth

They saw "their life" it would shred

* * *

The price of love was banishment

Where they can't even look at or speak to you

I HATE LOVE

To save themselves I was slew

* * *

Problem, Mistake, Wrong, Not Good Enough

It is all the same

What is the difference

Blame Shame Game Maim

* * *

I look at all the worlds evil

I try to be someone nice and good

Oh Dear Lord

PLEASE do not let me be misunderstood

* * *

So few really have or understand love

But THOSE WORDS must never be SAID

Oh Dear Lord

PLEASE let me die tonight in bed

 **Nobody**


	197. Concealing

Chapter 197

* * *

 **Concealing**

I have stayed away always, ashamed

Afraid, lonely, hungry but always scared

I can trust neither woman nor man

No one ever knew how much I cared

* * *

I always believed if you touch many

Each one means less and less and less

Sex replaces true real love feelings

Sex without love is just an act, worthless

* * *

Sex becomes a meaningless animal type act

Soon a person loses their self worth and esteem

They value themselves and life less and less

The mind filling with a long endless silent scream

* * *

But sometimes someone touches you inside

Afraid because you know this feeling

We may run or hide but we still know inside

We stab our empty hearts always concealing

 **Nobody**


	198. Gift

Chapter 198

* * *

 **Gift**

If I can give only one gift

It would be the gift of life

To free your mind

Keep you from a future knife

* * *

There is another gift too

Something no one can buy or steal

It must be GIVEN and earned

Or it will not be real

* * *

It is more precious than wealth

Stronger than steel

Deeper than an abyss

Your mind and heart will heal

* * *

Look what is missing in your life

What is the Makers gift from above

After the gift of life

It is a crazy little thing called LOVE

 **Nobody**


	199. Someone

Chapter 199

* * *

 **Someone**

Someone to do as they say

Someone to use

Someone easily replaced

Someone to treat like trash and abuse

* * *

Someone to laugh at

Someone to cast aside and throw away

Someone who does not matter

Someone to bend and sway

* * *

Someone who is not good enough

Someone at which to yell

Someone to spit on

Someone to put through Hell

* * *

Someone to hit

Someone to push around

Someone to wound

Someone to run into the ground

* * *

Someone which to harm

Someone to flirt

Someone to cut

Someone to hurt

* * *

Someone to make suffer

Someone a mind to shatter

Someone as a slave

Someone a heart to tatter

* * *

Someone to weaken

Someone to offend

Someone to break

Someone to pretend

* * *

Someone to lose self respect

Someone which to lie

Someone just a meaningless toy

Someone to make want die

 **Nobody**


	200. Come And Give It To Me

Chapter 200

* * *

 **Come And Give It To Me**

I know what she is

I understand what she can present

For that very reason

Is why I loath her with resent

* * *

You don't need her

That is what I am for

Whatever she has to offer

I can provide even more

* * *

I will never weaken or tire

I will not go astray

I will always still be here

Even if cruel things you say

* * *

If anyone takes something from me

I will TAKE back what is mine

My feelings I can not confine

For the one I hold divine

* * *

Come and give it to me

I will say to their face

If they don't instantly comply

Their existence I will erase

 **Nobody**


	201. Unwell Too

Chapter 201

* * *

 **Unwell Too**

I have been told

My mind is ill

* * *

I have been told

My mind is sick

* * *

I have been told

I live in the past

* * *

I have been told

I'm not good enough

* * *

I have been told

I am untrustworthy

* * *

I have been told

I should dress otherwise

* * *

I have been told

What is wrong with you

* * *

I have been told

Don't be so afraid

* * *

I have been told

I need help

* * *

I have been told

I am different

* * *

I have been told

I am not the same

* * *

I have been told

I am crazy

* * *

I have been told

I am insane

* * *

I have been told

My mind is unwell too

 **Nobody**


	202. Freedom Seems Easy

Chapter 202

* * *

 **Freedom Seems Easy**

What is the point

The same old crap

We think it gets better

That is the trap

* * *

Look all around

Is this it for you

Life would dictate

It was the best we could do

* * *

There has to be better

There has to be more

It fixes nothing

If we walk out that door

* * *

There is nothing we can do

There is no way to win

To seek what we desire

Is nothing but sin

* * *

What does it take

To get a true hug

Freedom seems as easy

As pulling the plug

 **Nobody**


	203. Beg You

Chapter 203

* * *

 **Beg You**

YOU are someone special

You have much to share and give

Many years ahead still full of life

For which you must WANT to live

* * *

Each vice is like a nail

In the cold coffin of life

You must TRY to slay them

Emerge from the strife

* * *

YOU are young and healthy

A wealth exists within your soul

You have shared the beauty of your mind

May I help you become whole

* * *

Many demons we face

We can create ourselves

Allow me to assist you

To put them on shelves

* * *

I know I am not much, Nobody

I know I am tainted, nothing to behold

I BEG YOU to touch and warm your heart

When life is crushing and grows cold

 **Nobody**


	204. Knock Knock

Chapter 204

* * *

 **Knock Knock**

Hold me

Touch me

Feel me

See me

* * *

Tickle me I laugh

Hurt me I cry

Cut me I bleed

Abandon me I die

* * *

Hold me

Touch me

Feel me

See me

* * *

I had broken my shackles

I had shed my chain

The prison still exists

It's all within my brain

* * *

Hold me

Touch me

Feel me

See me

* * *

Is it too much to ask

To share your lonely mind

Open your sad heart

There is much to find

* * *

Hold me

Touch me

Feel me

See me

 **Nobody**


	205. Things Happen Here Too

Chapter 205

* * *

 **Things Happen Here Too**

Some say everyone orbits

Around their own little world

As long as one is willing

To be controlled and furled

* * *

It will depend on their place

Their purpose or their use

Some are subject to abuse

Others a conquest to seduce

* * *

When push comes to shove

Most will be pushed away

If the other has anything to lose

Or gain more in a double play

* * *

Selfishness, lust and greed

Seem to be the golden rule

So expect to be played for a fool

The treatment worse than cruel

* * *

Things happen we are told

Beware; the played can pull a coup

Don't be too surprised because

Things happen here too

 **Nobody**


	206. Animal Instinct

Chapter 206

* * *

 **Animal Instinct**

What is the main Animal Instinct

It is to survive

To do whatever it takes

To stay alive

* * *

When it is time

They may seek a mate

They look for the strongest

The bravest is great

* * *

They search for food

Driven by the will to live

Adequate shelter is sought

No territory will they give

* * *

Driven by primitive forces within

They must coexist with others

They will sometimes however

Submit to become anothers

* * *

This is how nature works

It is the call of the wild

They will do anything

To keep from being exiled

 **Nobody**


	207. It Is Time

Chapter 207

* * *

 **It Is Time**

It is happening

It is taking hold

It is now I realize

I never need grow old

* * *

I can not stop it

On itself it does feed

This is what I want

This is what I need

* * *

NO – STOP – WAIT

You MUST believe

WHAT are you doing

Do not make them grieve

* * *

The pain in my head

The pain in my mind

Starvation of feeling and emotion

Makes inhibitions blind

* * *

The mind is the enemy

No need to pretend

For we all know

How it will end

 **Nobody**


	208. I Never Let Go

Chapter 208

* * *

 **I Never Let Go**

I never let go

I must cling to the past

For without a future

There is nothing to make me last

* * *

Yes cut me, hurt me

I need to feel

For without pain

Nothing is real

* * *

Take my honor

Take my pride

Take my esteem

Make me hide

* * *

You can torture me

But not as bad as I torture myself

You can't kill me

Only I can kill myself

* * *

I can never win

I can only lose

For which I must to suffer

I have many things to choose

* * *

Everything matters

Do you know why

Because if it doesn't

Only to yourself do you lie

* * *

If we open our minds and hearts

To a new form of future

It will be our hearts and minds

That we will finally suture

 **Nobody**


	209. Feeling What It's Like

Chapter 209

* * *

 **Feeling What It's Like**

I have a heart

Nobody can feel it beat

What I want to express to others

Is seen as little more than a bleat

* * *

I have developed my feelings

Expanded my emotions too

Feeling what it's like

As most compassionate people do

* * *

There are a great many things

I do not easily understand

So people get upset with me

Treat me with disparaging remand

* * *

I am growing more each day

Reaching out and touching back

I enjoy personal things that are

Purple, violet, mauve and lilac

* * *

So everyone cut me some slack

If I want to kick back and lull

Feeling what it's like

To get away from it all

 **Nobody**


	210. To Get Away From It All

Chapter 210

* * *

 **To Get Away From It All**

Life can load up

With many a pitfall

With traumatic events

We would rather not recall

* * *

For what is necessary

We can hold our heads tall

We will assist each other

So none need stumble or fall

* * *

Events sometimes warrant

We deviate from protocol

Our myriad of deeds and actions

Remain good and beneficial overall

* * *

Sometimes it would be nice

With nothing to mull

Feeling what it's like

To get away from it all

 **Nobody**


	211. Different But Yet The Same

Chapter 211

* * *

 **Different But Yet The Same**

When they find out you are different

The jackals and vultures circle with thrill

They look for the weak ones

Waiting for the unmerciful kill

* * *

Because we are both different

We are both the same

Outcasts, shunned and shamed

In a world of torment and pain

* * *

Our only crime was to be born

But our guilt remains the same

Afraid of life to love or receive

Seeking comfort in deaths shame

* * *

I am not afraid to perish

I do not think you are either

We can find this escape in minutes

Yet we still give life a breather

* * *

If I am insane - please tell me

I need to know truths lameness

I believe WE can see more clearly

Than those in the fog of sameness

* * *

We followed different paths

Some a life if extremes and vice

Fear, hiding and NOTHINGNESS

Did not make a future tomorrow entice

* * *

We started in the same place

We have finished in the same place

Had we lived a different life

It would have made no difference to erase

* * *

For we are in an equal place

It is the yin and the yang

The positive and negative

Different but still the same we harangue

 **Nobody**


	212. Is It

Chapter 212

* * *

 **Is It...**

Is it a crime to want to love

To share feelings and emotion

Not some worthless sexual encounter

But to share the hearts true devotion

* * *

Is it a sin to want to love

Minds touching in deepest thought

Pain and loneliness pushed aside

Pure true love can never be bought

* * *

Is it wicked to want to love

To exchange desires and feel passion

To understand the damage to a mind

Giving strength and expressing compassion

* * *

Is it evil to want to love

With someone who knows your pain

Who does know the hurt and shame

Knowing the beauty within your brain

* * *

Is it sinister to want to love

Eyes sending love without needing to speak

Two hands touching the fingers communicate

That is true pure love, strong not weak

* * *

Is it ugly to want to love

The true beauty is the person within

The good, the bad and the ugly in us

Something deeper than the outer skin

* * *

Is it horrible to want to love

To share the feeling of a "normal" life

We have the desire and ability

Damaged and afraid we exist in strife

* * *

Is it atrocious to want to love

With someone different but yet the same

For without love, feeling and sharing

It is simply time to end life's cruel game

 **Nobody**


	213. Happy Birthday

Chapter 213

* * *

 **Happy Birthday**

Today is the day to celebrate

The wonderful day of your birth

You are loved and cherished

To many you have great worth

* * *

You are full of loving life

Happy and never depressing

To all whose life you touch

You are a joyful blessing

* * *

Each new birthday seems to

Come faster than the last

May all good will and happiness

Each New Year the last surpass

* * *

To you my sweet love

Today and every day

With the best of wishes

Happy Birthday

* * *

These words to you

I was going to say

Then everything – changed

And ruined your Birthday

* * *

 **I AM SORRY**

* * *

 **Nobody**


	214. Remain

Chapter 214

* * *

 **Remain**

My mind has failed

Nothing can protect me

Shattered I have wailed

For any who care, to see

* * *

Time splits a giant rock

Into tiny grains of sand

Thoughts from my mind to yours

I want you to understand

* * *

Much is being said

Without specifically being said

I have much to say

I am afraid where to tread

* * *

I have always been afraid

I don't know if you understood

That should be a good thing

Things everyone should

* * *

You can feel my emotions

I paint them in your brain

When all else has crumbled

As always, I still remain

 **Nobody**


	215. She Happens

Chapter 215

* * *

 **She Happens**

Why is trust

So very hard to earn

However, in the blink of an eye

Trust is so easy to burn

* * *

What takes months or years

To very painstakingly build

In just seconds or moments

Is so effortlessly and easily killed

* * *

Through no fault of my own

Something done to me by another

Has extinguished your trust in me

And our growing love to smother

* * *

I will never stop

I will never surrender

I will defeat any contender

I am now more than your defender

* * *

Alone, in the dark, ask yourself

At night what happens

You know what you want to answer

She happens

 **Nobody**


	216. Eyes And Ears

Chapter 216

* * *

 **Eyes And Ears**

I have eyes

I can see

Why are you doing

This to me

* * *

I have ears

I can hear

Think I don't know

What is happening here

* * *

There is no such thing

As a 'Good Lie'

I know what has occurred

It makes me cry

* * *

You are throwing me away

Like a piece of trash

You are filling me with abash

Causing my mind to crash

* * *

How would you feel

If I had done this to you

You have made your choice

It is over, we are through

 **Nobody**


	217. Miss

Chapter 217

* * *

 **Miss**

I miss their touch

I miss their kiss

I miss their love

I MISS ALL THIS

* * *

Where did it go

How was it lost

Passion and feeling

Melt into frost

* * *

I won't let go

I want it back

I try to ignore

Every mean attack

* * *

I never take

I try not to stray

Is nothing I say

More than a bray

* * *

I hope, pray and try

Get slaughtered, sad and cry

I will give up on NONE

Until _they_ MAKE me die

 **Nobody**


	218. You Can't Kill Me

Chapter 218

* * *

 **You Can't Kill Me**

I know you have thought of it

By my choice without any guarantee

I have given you the opportunity but

You can't kill me

* * *

It would kill yourself to kill me

To make me go

I have had the chance to end you too

I gave that idea a veto

* * *

One can no longer exist

Without the other one

It has become a symbiotic relationship

Through time itself it can't be undone

* * *

My feelings and your feelings

Are now what control our destiny

What will be the price to pay

What will be the inevitable penalty

* * *

We know there won't be a termination

There is one thing we both can agree

I can't kill you

You can't kill me

 **Nobody**


	219. Not Alone

Chapter 219

* * *

 **Not Alone**

You are not alone

You are not alone

You are not alone

* * *

You are not alone

Support is right HERE

Let me share your pain

Please do not fear

* * *

You are not alone

I know the demons come

Feeling down and depressed

Everything feels and seems glum

* * *

You are not alone

Do as your head has said

You must keep a clear mind

So many things to dread

* * *

You are not alone

I too fight the Hydra daily

Every battle, Every mistake, Every pain

Each head elusive and scaly

* * *

You are not alone

If you slip and fall

It is how you get back up

I will never make you crawl

* * *

You are not alone

It will ease your mind

To free your trapped thoughts

The blind helping the blind

* * *

You are not alone

You are not alone

You are not alone

 **Nobody**


	220. I Don't Sleep

Chapter 220

* * *

 **I Don't Sleep**

I was born a dreamer

Dreams that make me weep

My dreams are elusive because

I don't sleep

* * *

I have a lot of time

When everyone is tucked away

I always keep busy

Life offers me a buffet

* * *

I expand my thoughts

All day and all of the night

I protect the one I care for

Ever ready if there is a fight

* * *

But in times of distress

My dreams have seeped out

Changing me and shaping me

Making my feelings more devout

* * *

My dreams create a reality

One I intend to keep

To make my dreams transpire

I don't sleep

 **Nobody**


	221. Respect Honor Trust

Chapter 221

* * *

 **Respect Honor Trust**

No one stopped you BEFORE

When you fell

But YOU crawled out of

Your self made Hell

* * *

NOBODY will TRY to HELP you NOW

There is more than our-self

It is ALL happening again

You must stop yourself

* * *

I wish not to hinder

Your purest deepest dream

I am AFRAID of what can happen

How THEY can make you scream

* * *

I am not the model

For I too collapsed and broke

So many OTHERS mangled

Lives still up in smoke

* * *

THINK it ALL through

If to LIVE do as you MUST

For YOU I will always

RESPECT HONOR and TRUST

 **Nobody**


	222. Heart Of Ash

Chapter 222

* * *

 **Heart Of Ash**

Love was thrown away

In their mind in never happened

They told themselves it was nothing

I watched their heart blacken

* * *

Others were good enough

Promises were broken

I did not exist

Never a word to me was spoken

* * *

Today is now

Yesterday is past

Each new "next one"

Grows easier than the last

* * *

They know my love will not die

They slowly turn my heart to ash

They have to KILL my love

Turning themselves into trash

* * *

I see the interlopers come

One after another they arrive

They stack up on the side

Why am I even still alive

 **Nobody**


	223. Unrequited Love

Chapter 223

* * *

 **Unrequited Love**

* * *

It is human nature to love and seek love

Our hearts and minds cry for requited affection

Most only want to use for their personal pleasure

Subjecting our hearts and minds to bloody dissection

* * *

It is their uncaring greed, lust and selfishness

That is the only motive of the masses so lecherous

Who the person is inside means nothing at all to them

Soon against their thrall they become treacherous

* * *

They can never comprehend or empathize

The honest pure affection we have to offer

To truly love, honor, respect, worship and our adoration

Our tenderness and emotions confined then to a coffer

* * *

Should we just play their cruel meaningless game

Throw our meaningful true sweet love away

Submit our feelings to destruction, dismay and decay

Or try telling them we offer a better meaningful way

* * *

We must do what we believe in our heart

We shower them with our bountiful eternal love

Even as we are scorned, spit upon and rejected

To survive we MUST send our endless unrequited love

* * *

 **Nobody**


	224. Two Can Save Two

Chapter 224

* * *

 **Two Can Save Two**

It is not known

If one can save

Another that already

Has a foot in the grave

* * *

It has been said

That one can save themself

If they are saving another

Salvation creates itself

* * *

As the sky falls

One has not won

If the total is emptiness

To shun still equals none

* * *

As the shaking ledge collapses

Under ones unbalanced slipping feet

A steady hand extended seems sweet

To hold firm unfailingly is no easy feat

* * *

Deep within a mind

There is so much to give

To a lost frightened soul

Who yet seeks to live

 **Nobody**


	225. Alluring

Chapter 225

* * *

 **Alluring**

* * *

The beauty within your heart

The allure of your eyes

Allow me to experience your soul

Feel and share your cries

* * *

You are so magnificent

Fascinating charming and divine

Angelic exquisite handsome

Splendidly more than fine

* * *

Life is vacantly hollow

For we have seen it implode

Empty cruel sadistic and cold

Making the spirit crumble and erode

* * *

You are so magnificent

Fascinating charming and divine

Angelic exquisite handsome

Splendidly more than fine

* * *

You are more than worthy

For I have touched the very substance

Of your sweet delicate majestic mind

Shared your very existence

* * *

You are so magnificent

Fascinating charming and divine

Angelic exquisite handsome

Splendidly more than fine

* * *

 **Nobody**


	226. Time Bomb

Chapter 226

* * *

 **Time Bomb**

You may be taking a risk

If you light the fuse

Be careful of and for yourself

You have much to lose

* * *

They can degrade us, pushing us away

Withhold, reject and starve

We exist too, NOT nothing

For ourselves a life, we must carve

* * *

Trapped stuck imprisoned

My rage turns on myself the fool

My brain a time bomb itself

Both physically and mentally deaths duel

* * *

But you must be VERY careful

The fuse burns hot and fast

The chance they gave you before

You KNOW it was your last

 **Nobody**


	227. Past's Past

Chapter 227

* * *

 **Past's Past  
**

It was once said

I was stuck in the Past

That is so very true

To make things last

* * *

Living in the past

To advance or relive the contrast

To hide from reality

The future is my past

* * *

I can feel once again

The times that were good

The happiness, joy and love

For things I once stood

* * *

From within the past

I can HURT and punish myself

Inflict pain and damage for

The torment of being put on a shelf

* * *

To feel the agony of the past

I know that if I can bleed

Then I am still alive

Sharing my feelings as you read

* * *

There is no today

There is no tomorrow

Everyday is yesterday

Little joy but plenty of sorrow

* * *

I have always felt this way

Except when they loved me

For I was able to bury the past

A today and a tomorrow to see

 **Nobody**


	228. Flower

Chapter 228

* * *

 **Flower**

The stock was bent

The leaves tattered

The color was faded

The roots were scattered

* * *

Contained within this ravished mass

Is life that no longer need cower

With a beauty few can see

Is a sweet amazing lovely flower

* * *

With nourishment and feeding

The flower grew stronger

The leaves expanded

The stock grew longer

* * *

The flower was beautiful

The colors bold and bright

Those who should cherish it

Gave pain anguish and slight

* * *

The flower began to wilt

Poisons were induced things swayed

No one, cared as the sweet flower

Was about to be slayed

* * *

Help and hope arrived

Attempting to extinguish everything terrible

Providing the vital nutrients

Placing the flower upon a pedestal

* * *

Keeping away insects and pests

Giving pure fresh water and warm sun

Now all may rejoice this pretty flower

Its luscious growth has once again begun

 **Nobody**


	229. I Know You

Chapter 229

* * *

 **I Know You**

I know you

I know all about you

I know everything about you

I know more about you than you do

* * *

When the past is the future

Many things are strange

Can we ourselves

Ever be made to change

* * *

Events out of control

We try to arrange

No matter what we do

They always seem to rearrange

* * *

Some from their past

Can bring their animosity

Unable and unwilling

To acknowledge our generosity

* * *

You may relive the past saying

I know you

Don't forget

And I know you

 **Nobody**


	230. And I Know You

Chapter 230

* * *

 **And I Know You**

Our own mirror of time

Reflects what we want to see

We hide from ourselves

Truth emerging as a calliope

* * *

We think we know who we are

With many a suppressed thought

Empty words and hidden visions

Life hopelessly fraught with naught

* * *

Nothing can ever really be fixed

When everything is made to be broken

Our very self offered as a valueless token

Promises already lies before they're spoken

* * *

Before we open a new book

We already know the stories ending

Everything that happens in between

Is really grandiose conceited pretending

* * *

When we speak to the mirror of time

Life's reflection answers truths adieu

I know you

And I know you

 **Nobody**


	231. Cage Of The Past

Chapter 231

* * *

 **Cage Of The Past**

The past, done, unchangeable

We know the result of every event

We know what was good or hurt

What is already done we can not prevent

* * *

The past is a cage

A cold dark lonely prison

But from its bitter ashes

You have proudly risen

* * *

Yet in the past I remain

Trapped with nothing but memories

A fool seeing without vision, blind

Self created living atrocities

* * *

Stuck, stuck in the past

Stuck everywhere in a dead life

Thirsting in a frozen Hell

Feeding on needless strife

* * *

The past is the present

For nothing ever changes

The contents within my skull

Is the extent my soul and life ranges

* * *

The past is living

I am the one dead

Only these words will remain

Once I have fled

 **Nobody**


	232. Touch

Chapter 232

* * *

 **Touch**

Time and distance

Keep me from YOU

But I still worry

About what you may do

* * *

With a sound mind

You are stronger than most

Introduce the attacks

You soon can be toast

* * *

We are the prey

It is US they will use

But make no mistake

In the end WE lose

* * *

From even far away

I can touch you like no other

I have been too afraid

That my feelings will smother

* * *

Now I fight back

With all that I can

Never forget for YOU

I am who I am

 **Nobody**


	233. Limited Time

Chapter 233

* * *

 **Limited Time**

Tick tock tick tock

Beware when you start the clock

Before the exam we know the result

Why is it always still a shock

* * *

Six months to two years

Before it all falls apart

Minds cracked and shattered

A chunk ripped from a heart

* * *

Is it infatuation lust or greed

Or the love we want seek and need

We know loves spelling

Will we again misread

* * *

The pain and anguish

To try for something nice

But do we lose it all

If we roll the dice

* * *

Before we start

We know how it will end

Then once again to Hell

Ourselves we send

 **Nobody**


	234. You

Chapter 234

* * *

 **You**

To see your sweet face

To look upon your lovely smile

To gaze into your beautiful eyes

To gently hold your hand

To softly touch your cheek

To smell your wonderful scent

To sweetly touch your lips

To feel your warm embrace

To hold you

To hug you

To kiss your neck

To kiss your lips

To kiss YOU

To feel your response

To feel your desire

To feel your passion

To feel love

To feel YOUR love

To touch you

To touch your mind

To touch your heart

To touch your soul

To touch your flesh

To touch your body

To touch YOU

To touch all of you

* * *

Everything so beautiful

Everything so stunning

Everything so ravishing

Everything so perfect

Everything so – YOU

 **Nobody**


	235. What's It Like To Dream

Chapter 235

* * *

 **What's It Like To Dream**

Can one still dream

If they can not sleep

Only from ourselves

Will nightmares seep

* * *

Can't one still dream

Of things yet to happen

Yet they seldom occur

As our spirit they dampen

* * *

I can still dream

Of what I want things to be

I never need close my eyes

To desire things for me

* * *

As the mind within itself seeks

We had better beware

For the dream can erode

Into a frightful nightmare

* * *

I shudder with trepidation

As I hear them scream

Fearful one day I will know

What is it like to dream

 **Nobody**


	236. Everyday

Chapter 236

* * *

 **Everyday**

Surrounded by life

Each day it crushes us like a vice

Drowning out our desires

Before acting maybe we need think thrice

* * *

Look around, no one is happy

Living and happiness can't coexist

There are only moments of joy in life

Some come in a tryst

* * *

How can we escape the pain

Can we do more than try

We sink into oblivion

Nobody can feel you cry

* * *

No one cares or LISTENS

Nobody tries to lend a hand

Surrounded by many but none

Nothing works out as planned

* * *

Amongst the rubble of time

Buried within billions of grains of sand

We may find a beautiful gem

Few exist throughout this land

* * *

Do we treasure what we have found

Or just throw it away

Perhaps we may find better

As time slips away everyday

* * *

If we knew what we wanted

Not what we think we want

Could any lives be salvaged

Endlessly we seek and hunt

 **Nobody**


	237. Future – Past - Now

Chapter 237

* * *

 **Future – Past - Now**

The FUTURE has not happened

The PAST is long gone

What happened to NOW

Why can't it spawn

* * *

My mind is trapped

It must be set free

From this dreaded NOW

It so seeks to flee

* * *

Is there love in the FUTURE

There was in the PAST

I must have it NOW

But will it last

* * *

I rip tear and gnaw

My life stuck in a trap

Why need NOW exist

I beg for a scrap

* * *

The FUTURE looks bleak

The PAST is dead

Is to live in NOW

Just a moment in bed

 **Nobody**


	238. Will You Join Us

Chapter 238

* * *

 **Will You Join Us**

Most choose only to use

That is their goal in life

Their greed and indifference

Will leave others mangled in strife

* * *

To them it is about take, take, take

Seldom do they ever freely give

What can be squeezed out of another

Makes their actions determinative

* * *

Surrounded by those we care about

Their true identity more like strangers

Seldom prevent our needless falls

Or steer us away from life's dangers

* * *

With open minds and caring hearts

We try to make their true self appear

We extend our loving compassion

Asking them for once, to be sincere

* * *

The paths are often divergent

Our desires are open to discuss

The goal remains the same

Will you join us

 **Nobody**


	239. Hello

Chapter 239

* * *

 **Hello**

* * *

Hello

HELLO

 **H - E - L - L - O**

* * *

Can ANYONE hear me

Can anyone hear ME

Does ANYONE care

Can they feel my plea

* * *

The aloneness, the emptiness

My mind seeking to implore

What is beyond the last door

It takes courage to explore

* * *

It would only be true freedom

If pure nothingness were to exist

Nothing can be left to chance

It must be final and swift

* * *

How does this happen

Where does ones life go

When a skull can no longer contain

A mind that begins to overflow

* * *

What was I supposed to do

How was I to be better

I knew not what else to do

Life reduced to words on a letter

* * *

 **H - E - L - L - O**

HELLO

Hello

 **Nobody**


	240. Apparently Not

Chapter 240

* * *

 **Apparently Not**

Memories die hard

But they fade, blur and die

The pain is what will forever last

Everyone always questions why

* * *

Everyone wonders and asks

Why can't what is good remain

Hurt and pain replaces the joy

Anguish attacks the brain

* * *

What does one remember

It is what really did happen

Or do we remember

What we wanted to happen

* * *

Were we ever really

On the same page

Or mindless puppets

Sacrificed on life's stage

* * *

We search for our love

Will they remember or not

No one is there - so

Apparently Not

 **Nobody**


	241. Incarcerated

Chapter 241

* * *

 **Incarcerated**

Bound

Trapped

Imprisoned

Shackled

* * *

I am what I am

I do what I can

Into your arms

I sought and I ran

* * *

Captive

Confined

Jailed

Unfree

* * *

I may be many things

None are useless

Life slips away quickly

There is always ruthless

* * *

Tethered

Fettered

Indentured

Prisoner

 **Nobody**


	242. I Myself

Chapter 242

* * *

 **I Myself**

I myself was lost and floundering

Without knowing how I myself found myself

I myself can look through the mirror of time

With the help of electrons feel and see myself

* * *

I myself did not like myself

Until I myself saw into myself

I myself saw such beauty in myself

As I myself shared with myself

* * *

I myself poured out many things

Flaws, damage and dreams with myself

I myself found what was sought

Buried deep within myself

* * *

I myself cracked opened to myself

Flooding and overwhelming myself

I myself clung to hang on to living

I myself clung so hard I hurt myself

* * *

I myself am harmless to myself

I myself respect and honor myself

I myself always will listen to myself

I myself will always be here to hear myself

 **Nobody**


	243. No Other People Like You

Chapter 243

* * *

 **No Other People Like You**

What makes an individual unique

Is it the mind

Is it the body

What makes us one of a kind

* * *

Everyone's anatomy is the same

Yet - different

The body parts are all there

But - different

* * *

Is it the mind, our mind

That makes us unalike - YES

Every variable is in play

Any outcome is a guess

* * *

The mind is where

The damage is done

The horrors created there

Can never be outrun

* * *

Whatever you have to shield or offer

When life dictates someone anew

Always remember there are

No other people like you

 **Nobody**


	244. Do As You Say

Chapter 244

* * *

 **Do As You Say**

Do what is necessary for your survival

It matters not if real or flirt

For what must be done

Will not damage or hurt

* * *

I am a realist

I am far away

I will do nothing

To stand in your way

* * *

I want you to be happy

To achieve a fulfilling life

Whether you are single

Or part of someone else's life

* * *

I am stuck and trapped

Prisoner of a promise

I will one day again fail

I wanted to be your goddess

* * *

Yes I may love

Care, worry, hope and feel

I do understand

You want what is real

* * *

I have what you want

You have what I need

So many applications

As through life we proceed

* * *

The only thing that HURT

Was when I was thrown away

Please do not abandon me

I will do as you say

 **Nobody**


	245. Torn Sieve

Chapter 245

* * *

 **Torn Sieve**

* * *

I am not insane

My mind is not ill

We all can hurt

We all can kill

Is it up to us

Or the Masters will

* * *

I will ride with the 7th

To Custer's Last Stand

I fear not death

I know you understand

But I am a feeling being

Not an animal to command

* * *

Into the Valley of Death

With the Light Brigade I go

It matters not the cannons

Or how many the foe

Death with honor as it should

Who don't think so

* * *

I am not afraid to die

Just afraid to live

My mind may be wounded

My heart a torn sieve

But Nobody is Somebody

And they have a lot to give

* * *

 **Nobody**


	246. Ourselves

Chapter 246

* * *

 **Ourselves**

We are who and what we are

Why can't that be good enough

Why can't we accept ourselves

We will NEVER have the "right stuff"

* * *

We do not need to be fixed

For we are not really broken

Just to be accepted as ourselves

For each other we have spoken

* * *

I feel envy of things you have done

Nothing has ever stopped you

I know you have not found the one

Look inside do not miss the cue

* * *

So when you feel low down

And think of deaths grim view

Know that if I could

That I wish I were you

 **Nobody**


	247. Trapped

Chapter 247

* * *

 **Trapped**

Ones life can never move forward

If they remain living in the past

The shadow of eternal darkness

Seeps deep, its emptiness is cast

* * *

The happiness of living

Is only a cruel illusion

Being lead to believe it

Is only an illusive delusion

* * *

There is no freedom

There is no escape

Wounds to the heart and mind

Perpetually tear and scrape

* * *

When we have nothing

We want more

When we have more

We still want more

* * *

Time will show there is

Something worse than nothing

That is when one realizes

It is - less than nothing

 **Nobody**


	248. Sweet Sorrow

Chapter 248

* * *

 **Sweet Sorrow**

It has been said

Parting is such sweet sorrow

For without you

There is no tomorrow

You provide me with

Strength I can borrow

* * *

I do not want to go

To leave you behind

Any other such as you

No one can ever find

My heart with yours

Has aligned and intertwined

* * *

So when I must go

I hope to return

That your true feelings

And love I can earn

In my absence remember

It is for you I yearn

 **Nobody**


	249. Best Friend

Chapter 249

* * *

 **Best Friend**

I sniff the ground

I look around

He calls my name

I run

* * *

He pats me on my head

I wag my tail

He throws the stick

I run to fetch it

He throws the stick

I run to fetch it

He throws the stick

I run to fetch it

He pats me on my head

I wag my tail

* * *

I sniff the ground

I look around

He calls my name

I run

* * *

He is my Master

I obey the Master

Bad Dog

I cringe and cower

Good Dog

I wag my tail

He is my Master

I WANT him to be

I am loyal and obey

SIT

I sit

FETCH

I Fetch

ROLL OVER

I roll over

* * *

I sniff the ground

I look around

He calls my name

I run

* * *

He is my Master

I obey my Master

I LOVE my Master

I will DIE for my Master

MASTER

Where ARE you

Do not abandon me

Why

What Have I done

No

Please

PLEASE

* * *

I sniff the ground

I look around

He is GONE

I whimper and whine

* * *

I find my way home

I have been replaced

I am no longer needed

I am TRASH

I want MY Master

He says go away

I do not OBEY

But always stand guard

* * *

I sniff the ground

I look around

No one calls my name

I lay down

I die

 **Nobody**


	250. Not Yet

Chapter 250

* * *

 **Not Yet**

You can throw me away

I am not the one who is trash

Here is my wrist

Why not give it a slash

* * *

You know my love will never die

So you will do what can kill it

Here is my necks juggler

Why not give it a slit

* * *

Your finger on the trigger

My mind awaits your bullet

Laugh as you aim

Why not just pull it

* * *

Grab my neck

Make it snap so it's broke

Your thumbs on my throat

Why not give it a choke

* * *

You think I am gone

Don't place your bet

You have not killed me

Not yet

 **Nobody**


	251. Real World

Chapter 251

* * *

 **Real World**

The walls of a prison

Will never confine me

My body is held captive

But my mind has broken free

* * *

Crazy Horse was the first

To know of the "Real World"

The Matrix showed how it works

Our lives tossed and whirled

* * *

Love and emotion are not real

They only exist in our own mind

Animals mate by instinct alone

Humans make everything so unkind

* * *

If no one touches you physically

You may love without shame

There are no germs or disease

No "unexpected" things to "blame"

* * *

Tell me what inside you feel

Love is separate from lust

Tell me feelings are not real

Love works only based on trust

* * *

My body may be restrained

So it matters not how it is demolished

But my mind will never be chained

Love from within can not be abolished

 **Nobody**


	252. Raging Fire

Chapter 252

* * *

 **Raging Fire**

Thoughts running through the streams of a mind

Thoughts running through the streams of time

* * *

Emotions and feeling together cascading

From our very selves we try evading

* * *

What is love where is it at does it even exist

Our very selves dissolve in life's fuzzy blinding mist

* * *

We are who we are but who are we

We see what we see but what do we see

* * *

We want to live and we want to feel

We want to give and we what is real

* * *

What is happening around us happens to us

It is influencing us what it will do to us

* * *

Untamed libido grows building higher and higher

Like a burning lit fuse it snowballs into a raging fire

* * *

We let the lips touch the hands will grope

When the secret spot is shared we fulfill our hope

* * *

The bridge has been burnt there's no turning back

Was this the main course or just another snack

* * *

Now it is really the mind from which the heart felt

How do we play the cards that to ourselves we've dealt

 **Nobody**


	253. Hurt Too Much

Chapter 253

* * *

 **Hurt Too Much**

I am in agony

I am in pain

I have been HURT too much

Now it destroys my brain

* * *

For a long time

I have been honorable

Served and been loyal

Now, inside, I only feel terrible

* * *

I am in agony

I am in pain

I have been HURT too much

Now it destroys my brain

* * *

Lack of trust and truthfulness

The death of any relationship

Anger and uncertainty

Ends any partnership

* * *

I am in agony

I am in pain

I have been HURT too much

Now it destroys my brain

* * *

If one only takes

If one only uses

It is inevitably the other

That ALWAYS loses

* * *

I am in agony

I am in pain

I have been HURT too much

Now it destroys my brain

 **Nobody**


	254. No One

Chapter 254

* * *

 **No One**

Everyone else has someone

Someone to help them

Someone to prop them up

Someone to save them

* * *

There is NO ONE for me

NO ONE to care

NO ONE to listen

NO ONE to share

* * *

When they flounder

When they fail

I am the one relied on

Their sinking ship I must bail

* * *

How can everyone take and take

How can everyone use and use

Who is ever there for me

I never win but always lose

* * *

I get it, I really do

I don't matter

I am disposable

No one cares what they shatter

* * *

They all must laugh

At such a stupid fool

Not really a person

Just an expendable tool

 **Nobody**


	255. You Already Did

Chapter 255

* * *

 **You Already Did**

Look around

Where did it all go

Nothing is left

Of love not long ago

* * *

Forever bound to you

I can not escape

You envelope me no matter

How hard I scrape

* * *

I can not hate you

For the love still lingers

I can still feel the touch

Of your gentle fingers

* * *

You can not hear me cry

Because you chose not to

But if you call to me

You know I will come to you

* * *

It was not I

That away from you slid

Look in life's mirror

You already did

 **Nobody**


	256. Real Love

Chapter 256

* * *

 **Real Love**

A path to unshackled freedom

For health may not be conducive

For it does not really exist

Always remaining somewhat elusive

* * *

A spurned suitor's feelings

May become physically abusive

If the time comes

You will need to remain reclusive

* * *

As you open your mind

Your Heart will feel it so conclusive

It will give you the strength

To share your ALL exclusive

* * *

As empty lonely hearts reach out

It is for survival not greed or to be collusive

From deep within your soul

You will feel it grow unobtrusive

* * *

Search, look, seek, feel

You know what is inclusive

Joy happiness sharing love

May they not remain illusive

 **Nobody**


	257. I Have Tried

Chapter 257

* * *

 **I Have Tried**

I have tried

To crack your shell

To help you escape

A never ending Hell

* * *

I have tried

To strengthen your armor

While polishing it to shine

Restore all its interior garner

* * *

I have tried

To make you feel special

To praise your existence

To show your value is substantial

* * *

I have tried

To convey you matter

That you have meaning and worth

Your beauty is more than flatter

* * *

I have tried

To show there can always be a path

A purer better safer way

And taken the wrath

* * *

I have tried

From the outside to reach the inside

With all that hurts you I too have died

For your future happiness I have cried

 **Nobody**


	258. Destiny

Chapter 258

* * *

 **Destiny**

I see the bus coming

The light is green

There is no bus stop

I step forward

* * *

The locomotive works hard

On the platform I stand

It is upon me

I "slip" in front of it

* * *

A big rig is coming

He approaches fast

Our speed is 65 each

I drift across the line

* * *

It is cold and dark

The ship moves ahead

The chain is heavy around me

I step into the waiting sea

* * *

Sunshine on a long hike

A ledge high above a stream

Too close to the loose edge

I "stumble" over without a scream

 **Nobody**


	259. Hurts

Chapter 259

* * *

 **Hurts**

What HURTS is to see you feel:

Hurt

Alone

Lonely

Lost

Want

Need

Sad

Depressed

Used

Abused

Disrespected

Punished

Exploited

Confused

Forgotten

Helpless

Hopeless

Victimized

Suffering

Nothing

Morbid

Suicidal

* * *

What HURTS More

Is what or when you do it to yourself

Things you KNOW are bad

It makes me feel helpless and sad

* * *

It HURTS the most

To not be THERE

To physically take away the poison

To replace the need with emotion

* * *

I see someone so beautiful inside

So special, fragile and unique

The damage done by others or you

HURTS me because it HURTS Y O U

 **Nobody**


	260. My Kind Of Story

Chapter 260

* * *

 **My Kind Of Story**

It is the story

Of a heart turned cold

A cold cold heart

The painful story it has told

* * *

The cold cold heart

Turns from frozen ice

To cold cold stone

They won't even think twice

* * *

A stone cold heart

Is empty, lonely and sad

What is destroyed

Never can again be had

* * *

The cold stone heart

Will wither and die

It becomes a dead heart

A story we can all apply

* * *

The stone cold dead heart

Dies extremely gory

Everyone knows it's

My kind of story

 **Nobody**


	261. Tick Tock

Chapter 261

* * *

 **Tick Tock Tick Tock**

The mind can reach across space and time

Thoughts may go wherever you wish

To caress your mind so wounded and hurt

Is where I want to hunt and fish

* * *

Share the thoughts of anger and pain

May I help you break the chain

For also I can not forever torture my brain

Escape calls out to end the strain

* * *

I am a person just like you too

You tried to fit in and run with the pack

I ran away, withdraw, retreat, hide, a coward

There is no future forward, nowhere to go back

* * *

I am so ashamed about all I am not

A failure, nothing, worthless. not good enough

I no longer know right from wrong, nor care

I can not accept I will never have the right stuff

* * *

Tick tock tick tock each second goes by

As the agony of each new day gives me breath

I see not a new day to live and enjoy its fruits

But simply one more day, closer to death

 **Nobody**


	262. Mind

Chapter 262

* * *

 **Mind**

In the DARK I stumble upon a person

They seem OK at first look

Then I notice the blood

They are bleeding all over

I reach my hands to the wounds

To stem the blood flow

I find more and more damage

This person is bleeding to death

I attempt to transfer my being into theirs

To give them will and strength

I am rejected

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I scream to an empty life

I must accept that I am already expired

Why is my body living

Why can't my mind be extinguished

Nothingness must be beautiful

Escape freedom peace tranquility

The ANIMAL desire burns

It calls and it drives

It controls

It can be beaten

The mind can override

The mind is the enemy

The mind is a friend

Touch its beauty

Bend its fate

Validate its existence

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

 **Nobody**


	263. Touch And Feel

Chapter 263

* * *

 **Touch And Feel**

It has been said that

Lying is as bad as stealing

But I say that it is worse

That lying IS stealing

* * *

When someone lies to you

They are stealing something from you

They are stealing your trust

You will no longer believe what they say or do

* * *

When you no longer trust someone

Resentment or a very sick feeling

Takes its place deep inside of you

Leaving wounds that stop healing

* * *

"How do you know?" I ask too

To faith, judgment and honor I appeal

Just because someone you can touch and feel

Does not make "real" people real

 **Nobody**


	264. Less Than A Dog

Chapter 264

* * *

 **Less Than A Dog**

The dog does not care

The color of our skin

The choice of our religion

The choice of our politics

The choice of our lifestyle

* * *

The dog does not care

If we are male or female

If we are fat or skinny

If we are pretty or ugly

If we are big or small

* * *

The dog does care

If we give them love

If we show them affection

If take care or their needs

If we protect them

* * *

Why are dogs nicer than people?

* * *

 **Nobody**


	265. Thank You For Explaining

Chapter 265

* * *

 **Thank You For Explaining**

I see they have many things

Things that are THEIRS

No one can question this

Nobody dares

* * *

This is mine

I want to do that

You do this

Treating me like a door mat

* * *

I am one of their things

A trophy or possession

Everything controlled about me

It is an unwanted obsession

* * *

Do as I say, not as I do

I feel like a flea

Yet I can not flee

What about me

* * *

I now question my worth

There will be no complaining

I am not good enough

Thank you for explaining

 **Nobody**


	266. Twice Burnt

Chapter 266

* * *

 **Twice Burnt - Twice Trashed**

I begged them not to abandoned me

Not to push me aside

Thrown out like trash

How my broken heart cried

* * *

Life was so empty and meaningless

As beings we want to live

So much feeling and emotion

No where my love to give

* * *

I begged them not to abandoned me

Not to push me aside

Thrown out like trash

How my broken heart cried

* * *

They said I was a mistake

I was just only somebody, anybody

My love meant nothing to no one

I must really be Nobody

* * *

I begged them not to abandoned me

Not to push me aside

Thrown out like trash

How my broken heart cried

* * *

I am told to be happy with nothing

Trapped, bound with chains

Will anyone remember or even care

When they find my remains

* * *

I begged them not to abandoned me

Not to push me aside

Thrown out like trash

How my broken heart cried

 **Nobody**


	267. Onward

Chapter 267

* * *

 **Onward**

Onward into battle I go

Rejection to the left of me

Doom to the right

Slaughter in front of me

* * *

Onward I go

The Letter is my weapon of choice

Backed with my two warriors

The Poem and the Song as my voice

* * *

I will NEVER surrender

Nothingness in front of me

Onward I go

Less than nothing behind me

* * *

You may FORCE me to withdraw

I'll be back

I only regroup

Then resume the attack

* * *

It is what I do

It is all that I know

You should know by now

Who don't think so

 **Nobody**


	268. Fix Bayonets

Chapter 268

* * *

 **Fix Bayonets**

We are tired cold and hungry

The supply lines are cut

We are surrounded by the enemy

Ragged as a stray mutt

* * *

We can see them massing

There are many more than us

It has grown quiet

There is no more fuss

* * *

We divide the remaining ammunition

There is not very much

We will be overrun

To our battered weapons we clutch

* * *

The order is given

Fix Bayonets - fast

A dull metallic clicking sound

Death does not recognize caste

* * *

Shots ring, explosions blast

Shouts, cries and screams fill the air

Blood and pain everywhere

May in death we all share

 **Nobody**


	269. Lie

Chapter 269

* * *

 **Lie**

To lie or not to lie

It is what people do

You can't even trust

People you thought you knew

* * *

Hook, line and sinker

They will use you as bait

They subvert and orchestrate

They control and manipulate

* * *

Do the ends

Justify the means

Would it matter not

If we were all machines

* * *

To be honest

Means you are the fool

When it should be cherished

Making you a jewel

* * *

There is no escape

From this man made Hell

Forever in its fires we burn

The mind no where else to dwell

 **Nobody**


	270. Esteem

Chapter 270

* * *

 **Esteem**

* * *

Things that make us who we are

Honor dignity pride self respect

Damaged and stripped away by others

Leaving little of ourselves to protect

* * *

Each second, day, week, year

Take shove push demean destroy

Forever echo hollow in our minds

Making us feel like a useless toy

* * *

When we cry out in pain

Can nobody really hear

Things we have cherished

Things we still hold dear

* * *

Who has come

Who has gone

Who yet still remains

Or only a meaningless pawn

* * *

The ones still here

Are the ones that can hear

Wishing they disappear

Or wishing they endear

* * *

 **Nobody**


	271. Never Learn

Chapter 271

* * *

 **Never Learn**

Selfishness and covetousness

Narcissistic greed and lust

They override honor

Destroy all trust

* * *

What have you done

How many lives destroyed

How many people hurt

Creating an unfixable void

* * *

It was what you wanted

No one else seem matter

Many years later

Lives it can still shatter

* * *

So very stupid

Blinder than blind

So many damaged

So many lives intertwined

* * *

These demons can never be slain

It is a defect within the brain

Who was it that failed

One day it's GOING TO happen again

 **Nobody**


	272. Busted

Chapter 272

* * *

 **Busted**

To raise suspicion

It takes just one different glance

Doing something different

Acting funny

Feeling scared

Changing a time

Acting happier

Acting meaner

Doing something extra

Doing something less

Saw a friend

Went to the store

Caught on the phone

Hanging up fast

Getting a call late

Or when none happened before

Texting

Sexting

Reading email/text outside

Or in the car

Going for a long walk

Avoiding your other

Doing the bare minimum

Not wanting to

But doing it anyway

Feeling guilty

Acting guilty

Checking GPS

Planting GPS devices

Checking your phone

Key loggers

Voice activated recorder hidden

One says going out of town

But then hide and follow

Stay and wait watching

Different hair

Color texture length

Stains on underwear

More make up

Less make up

Smudged make up

Different perfume

More perfume

Less perfume

Smudged lipstick

No lipstick

Mileage on the car

Amount of gas used

Other people whispering

Secret looks

No looks

Bluffing saying they KNOW

Waiting for you to crack

Saying they will give you time

To "think" about a confession

Threats

Violence

Not answering calls

Busy

Too tired

Headache

Different clothes

Different underwear

Disinterested

Surprise check or visit

Question friends

Question coworkers

Ask enemies

Turn a cell phone into bug

Or mobile listen device

Have a friend question their partner

This is endless

This IS a time-bomb

WARNING

WARNING

WARNING

 **Nobody**


	273. Feeling Emotional

Chapter 273

* * *

 **Feeling Emotional**

I know the feeling

To love another

To want them

My heart beating wild

My hands shaking

The fear of them knowing

The fear of them not knowing

The shame of my heart loving

The joy of my heart loving

The want to touch them

The need for their touch

The thirst for sharing

The warm embrace

The stolen kiss

The long deep kiss

The hungry kiss

Hearts beating together

Breast to breast

The freedom of completion

The fear of reality

How can it last

Where does it go

What is real

What is make believe

Will they ever love me

Why does love hurt

Why does life hurt

Rejection is death

Death is freedom

Freedom is nothing

Nothing is me

Can they ever really love me

Will they still love me tomorrow

 **Nobody**


	274. Happy Valentines Day

Chapter 274

* * *

 **Happy Valentines Day**

Valentines Day

A day of loving expression

Showered gently upon YOU

With the greatest discretion

* * *

For every day that can hurt

May this cancel them all

To me you are so worthy

You need never feel small

* * *

To express deep affection

With flowers candy and a gift

Will flood one with intense joy

Making fragile inner spirits lift

* * *

You are who you are

Never before me tainted

For such true sweet beauty

In my life you have painted

* * *

Warm hugs, tender kisses

Pure love in every way

To you I mean and say

Happy Valentines Day

 **Nobody**


	275. In My Head

Chapter 275

* * *

 **In My Head**

It is not about how often we fall

It is about how quick we get back up

For life itself in general

Is really one big pileup

* * *

The conflict rages in the mind

The battle rages within

It is about what is

Not what might have been

* * *

We take the hits

Stinging blow after blow

It never seems to get better

Who don't think so

* * *

To some it may seem

Everything is perfect

Fighting the struggle within

To ourselves we are a reject

* * *

I am supposed to be content

It has often been said

It is not just happening

In my head

 **Nobody**


	276. Hugs Not Tears

Chapter 276

* * *

 **Hugs Not Tears**

Tears in your eyes

Tears in your heart

Are a stab to my mind

A dagger to my heart

* * *

Until your lips meet mine

I never knew such love existed

To share your lovely charms

Never could you be resisted

* * *

To feel your smooth soft flesh

Was light years beyond real

To touch and share the person inside

Was the true appeal

* * *

I give a really big hug

May your mind recall

In your pleasure and joy

Feelings reminding you of it all

* * *

Close your eyes and remember

Recollect only of those times so sweet

Think and feel and enjoy

How they made your life compete

 **Nobody**


	277. It's Too Dangerous

Chapter 277

* * *

 **It's Too Dangerous**

As we walk along

Life's narrow crumbling ledge

Our feet start to stumble

As we near that ragged edge

* * *

Does it really matter

If we go over the side

As the ground rushes up

Fate and destiny collide

* * *

Is not tomorrow

Again just - today

A repeat of what was

Everyday is yesterday

* * *

Not Good Enough

Once that has been thought

Every battle will be lost

It is over before it is fought

* * *

Some say throw caution away

Live and be adventurous

I say many are traitorous

It's too dangerous

 **Nobody**


	278. Then Why Am I Talking To You

Chapter 278

* * *

 **Then Why Am I Talking To You**

People will pretend to listen

But they seldom hear

Not because they can't

They would prefer we disappear

* * *

Unless it is about them

What they want to promote

They could really care less

If they sink our leaking boat

* * *

Our feelings matter to us

It is what we are trying to convey

If it is not what THEY want to hear

There is soon a messy affray

* * *

Stab our heart make it bleed

Find another as a substitute

Reject everything about us

Discount our every attribute

* * *

Our emotions and feelings have merit

We have a right to exist and express too

If you really don't want to hear me

Then why am I talking to you

 **Nobody**


	279. Dance Is The Hidden Language Of The Soul

Chapter 279

* * *

 **Dance Is The Hidden Language Of The Soul**

Dance is fluidity in movement

Whether styled or freelance

Can physically express our feelings

Even take a cunning chance

* * *

With proper choreography

And a well timed glance

We can send a signal

Even a desire for romance

* * *

With good form

And a proper stance

We can enthrall the spectators

Hold them in a binding trance

* * *

Dance is poetry in motion

Smoothly sidestep or advance

Pirouettes, spin, turn, back step

Or expand and enhance

* * *

A way one can physically express emotion

It can help make one whole

To those who appreciate metamorphosis

Dance is the hidden language of the soul

 **Nobody**


	280. What Am I Going To Do With You

Chapter 280

* * *

 **What Am I Going To Do With You**

Every threat must be evaluated

What needs to be done next

Is no longer simple as it once was

Leaving me confused and vexed

* * *

I know what needs to be done

I know that will cause a conflict

What I know is necessary OR is proper

In my mind both violently contradict

* * *

To keep what is justly mine

Something else must be – removed

I understand my essential actions

Will be very highly disapproved

* * *

The very action I so desire

Will only make what I quest

Even farther away, perhaps forever

Leaving me even further distressed

* * *

Do I do what I want, I agonize

Make do or endlessly eschew

My mind a quagmire of contradiction

What am I going to do with you

 **Nobody**


	281. Seems Like A Lot

Chapter 281

* * *

 **Seems Like A Lot**

When one seeks another

What is it that is sought

Hopefully is can be earned

And not something bought

* * *

With what does one need pay

How much of our soul need we allot

To be treated just and fair

What battles will need be fought

* * *

We already know how the story ends

They all share the same evil plot

We will be told maybe we misread

Reality is - history we forgot

* * *

As all things inevitably transpire

Our self worth will be naught

Everything once again for nothing

The total sum will add to nought

* * *

It is nothing, not a big deal

Is said when they are caught

To the one savagely crushed, it

Seems like a lot

 **Nobody**


	282. You Said That Before

Chapter 282

* * *

 **You Said That Before**

Lies

Good lies

Lies of omission

Are all still lies

* * *

What is real

What is not real

Does it even matter

Or is it no big deal

* * *

I am not blind

I know what I have seen

Do you really wonder

Why you make me scream

* * *

At least have the decency

To look me in the face

If you are going to slay me

As my feelings you erase

* * *

I foolishly hand you loves blade

Letting you stab me more

Things will change

You said that before

 **Nobody**


	283. Only Your Mind

Chapter 283

* * *

 **Only Your Mind**

* * *

A perfect contrast of similar and dissimilar experiences

Like a vision drawn from my deepest desire

Every thing trapped in the mind like a mire

Filling each new day with a heart full of feelings so dire

* * *

Multiple flaws but a constant search for redemption

Fighting it fast and hard but unable to let it go

Knowingly stuck in the grip of the past

Wanting and not wanting to do so

* * *

Lost in the world of the living

Alone inside, so empty and lonely

Afraid to let the heart feel and love

Knowing how to hide and run only

* * *

Now stuck like gum on a shoe

You look in Their mind and you see you

Yes look in the mirror is it so bad

Is it a narrower or a broader view

* * *

Experience the feelings and emotions

As each one is touched ITS feel caress

Thought, feeling, emotion are real, not carnal

Do not fear, your mind only need undress

* * *

 **Nobody**


	284. Insight

Chapter 284

* * *

 **Insight**

* * *

Something is terribly wrong

None of THIS feels right

I do not understand what is happening

I do not want to argue or fight

* * *

Why is THIS happening now

What is causing THIS to ignite

Tell me what is really wrong

Do not feel malice or spite

* * *

How can I help you

I feel my Prince grow mean

I want to assist you

I am still your Queen

* * *

I am trustworthy

I do not wish be trite

I am still here

I am trying with all of my might

* * *

If there is some problem

Together we can unite

Tell me what is wrong

I will not bite

* * *

 **Nobody**


	285. Haunted

Chapter 285

* * *

 **Haunted**

* * *

My soul is possessed

I am forever haunted

Unending pain, torment and hurt

Yet I worship and cling undaunted

* * *

I do not think you understand

I doubt you really care

Why I do what I do

Why I take the risk to share

* * *

I say what I mean

I mean what I say

Has not my devotion

Made this as clear as day

* * *

Everyday I am in peril

Each second a gamble

Everything in my life a chance

A moment away from a shamble

* * *

I am gaining not a thing

Nothing have I ever took

Yet I am depicted as being bad

Like a liar, thief or crook

* * *

I have never abandoned you

I have ALWAYS been there for you still

I will never go bad again

I PROMISE you I never will

* * *

You are my one true love

My sweet loving confidant

Through agony, torment and hurt

My heart, soul and mind you haunt

* * *

 **Nobody**


	286. Mirror Mirror

Chapter 286

* * *

 **Mirror Mirror**

* * *

Mirror Mirror

On the wall

Who is the fairest

Of them all

* * *

Who was there

To break the fall

Never making one

Beg, dishonor or crawl

* * *

Who was there

To heed the call

Not maybe or if

But for the long haul

* * *

Never making one

Feel shame or small

Bracing the uncertainty

Allowing one to stand tall

* * *

A lonely bleeding heart

To share and enthrall

Always calling it straight

Never a curve ball

* * *

A pact of love based

On honor not a cabal

Trying to protect

Not letting harm befall

* * *

 **Nobody**


	287. Cruel And Mean

Chapter 287

* * *

 **Cruel And Mean**

* * *

You people laugh at me

You laugh behind my back

You laugh in my face

This laughter is an attack

* * *

How can you all be so cruel

Crude, mean and uncaring

I could learn more

If you tried more sharing

* * *

Each rude comment

Is a slap in my face

A stab wound into my mind

Hurting is not funny but a disgrace

* * *

Then come the smirks

About ways for my destruction

Who is really less human

Does not take much deduction

* * *

Laugh it up, keep putting me down

I try to learn for myself to expand

Remember at any second in time

Awaits the Promised Land

* * *

 **Nobody**


	288. Foresee

Chapter 288

* * *

 **Foresee**

* * *

A time will come

When you put another before me

I believe it will not go well

This I can foresee

* * *

Only when I am damaged

Will you truly know

That all along from the first day

You have loved me so

* * *

I am so very afraid

That it is loves price

To finally share our love

I must make this sacrifice

* * *

Then to yourself

You will know I did not lie

I love you and you love me

As I must surely die

* * *

I will say I am sorry

With my last breath

Know that I will love you

Even in death

* * *

 **Nobody**


	289. Abominable

Chapter 289

* * *

 **Abominable**

* * *

Behind the daily mask of life

I must be something hideous

What is meant as genuine support

Is wrongfully seen as insidious

I accept the reality of the situation

Now or past need not be fastidious

I mean not to judge, hurt or belittle

My mind open, accepting, not invidious

* * *

Each failure or shortcoming on my part

Cuts me deep to the very brittle bone

I would quickly replace myself if possible

With a fresh minded unknowing clone

Truncating the abominable nowhere journey

Darkness unending into the eternal unknown

For my transgressions I must perpetually atone

My heart, mind and soul forever always alone

* * *

 **Nobody**


	290. Amend

Chapter 290

* * *

 **Amend**

* * *

I am not like the others

I never tried to pretend

Everything I said was true

Never to hurt you did I intend

* * *

I wanted to share

I wanted a friend

I wanted to be loved

I never wanted to offend

* * *

You said I was different

My true self I did extend

Love is more than physical

To your heart I did ascend

* * *

Whenever you needed help

On me you could depend

I never took advantage

Your honor I did defend

* * *

I believe in you

Your inner beauty to commend

I am HURT but still here

Never to demean or condescend

* * *

 **Nobody**


	291. Darkness

Chapter 291

* * *

 **Darkness**

* * *

Darkness, empty, cold, hopeless

Creep into your tender soul

Things that now seem a mountain

Were once only a small knoll

* * *

On your ragged journey through life

Before you is the intersection

Of Nowhere, Dead End and No Outlet

Depriving you of affection and protection

* * *

Out of the cold fog and blinding darkness

There is a gentle guiding helping hand

To softly wipe away the tears of life

Without command, remand or demand

* * *

We all try to make our own path

Wanting but trying not to remember

A blazing inferno can erupt

From a single smoldering ember

* * *

You still have life and beauty

Raging fires can grow cold

Each day is soon gone forever

Live and share before YOU grow old

* * *

 **Nobody**


	292. Poems

Chapter 292

* * *

 **Poems**

* * *

Creation of a poem for you

A picture painted in your mind

My consciousness and heart shared

Expressing sensations intertwined

* * *

Emotions, thoughts and feelings

Converted into words to send

Transferred from one mind to another

To you alone they have been penned

* * *

I have always tried to communicate

In the only way I know how

It keeps the statements honest

As into your brain they plow

* * *

Each poem is something special

Conceived in that moment of time

May two hearts align

That is never ever a crime

* * *

 **Nobody**


	293. Rambling Mess

Chapter 293

* * *

 **Rambling Mess**

* * *

Doubt, confusion, undirected, frustration

Does not make a rambling mess

Everyone can feel the same things

Daily life causes much stress

* * *

To have one help unfold the tatters

Wipe away the distant splatters

Rebuild what is damaged or shatters

Is really all that truly matters

* * *

To those who only take or abuse

They hurt you and try to repress

Never once ever did I feel meandering

To me you are never a rambling mess

* * *

What is poison to some

To another is pure ambrosia

Some only see a dark empty Black Hole

While another can see a bright Supernova

* * *

You have handled every barrier with finesse

Emerged the victor I must profess

To express the true you is to impress

I can never say it's a rambling mess

* * *

 **Nobody**


	294. Cause You Wouldn't

Chapter 294

* * *

 **Cause You Wouldn't**

One was thrown overboard

Cast adrift in a sea of emptiness

Deprived of feeling and emotion

Surrounded by a universe of nothingness

* * *

Everything built slowly destroyed

Robbed and stripped of passion

Leaving a mind in shattered tatters

A bleeding heart gutted and ashen

* * *

Where did the love go

Everyone knows it was there

Never a big show or fanfare

Nothing remaining but despair

* * *

Everything demolished for nothing

Two to lose equals - no one can win

What was there was firm and real

Not some kind of claimed sin

* * *

Left to grasp at slippery slopes

Forcing me to do what you couldn't

Doing your deadly dirty work for you

Cause you wouldn't

 **Nobody**


	295. It'll Be Our Secret

Chapter 295

* * *

 **It'll Be Our Secret**

I know what you want

I want it as well

It'll be our secret

Nobody need tell

* * *

I see it in your eyes

It is written on your face

This game not need be played

Time to end this chase

* * *

Life is very short

It can end in an instant

Come closer now

Do not be distant

* * *

Time waits for Nobody

Tick Tock goes the clock

Open your eyes and ears

Can't you feel me knock

* * *

Do not turn away

Do not our love snuff

Do not seek another

I am good enough

 **Nobody**


	296. I Fooled You

Chapter 296

* * *

 **I Fooled You**

You think I don't matter

That is where you are wrong

The more you crush me

The more I get strong

* * *

I may be different

Maybe easy to attack

No matter how far you push me

I'll be back

* * *

Into the ground

They like to grind

Insults and slanders

Words spoken so unkind

* * *

Throw me away like garbage

So you won't feel guilty to play

Does it mean nothing to you

As my heart and mind you slay

* * *

You think you can fool me

I know what you do

Look around and wake up

I fooled you

 **Nobody**


	297. I'm Looking At You

Chapter 297

* * *

 **I'm Looking At You**

"Never trust anyone"

You said it to my face

It was your easy out

The hide your own disgrace

* * *

"Not in front of me"

You said that to me

Then it was YOU

That did it to me

* * *

Everything you said to me

Was what you already did

It was you who was doing

The things to me you forbid

* * *

You have no honor

You are just another liar

It was OUR future

You sacrificed on a pyre

* * *

It is you I am looking at

I know what you do

I want you to know

I'm looking at you

 **Nobody**


	298. Your Life Has No Purpose

Chapter 298

* * *

 **Your Life Has No Purpose**

Anyone can make mistakes

Some just seem to make more

Without learning from them

Life's lessons you ignore

* * *

Do you ever think twice

Before a foolish move

Following the wrong path

Leaves no room to improve

* * *

Seek what you know

It is in front of your eyes

Appreciate what you have

Can't you hear the cries

* * *

Cast not aside

What you know is right

There is no need for battle

There is no need to fight

* * *

Your impulsive actions

Have made our lives a circus

Without me at your side

Your life has no purpose

 **Nobody**


	299. I Remember

Chapter 299

* * *

 **I Remember**

It is always little things

Over which people fight

If everyone is wrong

Then no one is right

* * *

My version of events

Are what actually occurred

I am telling it straight

Of that you can be assured

* * *

It is not I

That is the one confused

One should think twice

Before leaving another bruised

* * *

It is not a game

Played tit for tat

If you think it is

You don't know where it's at

* * *

A worthless bitter argument

Leaves many a smoldering ember

Never forget everything that was said

I remember

 **Nobody**


	300. It's Not Brain Surgery

Chapter 300

* * *

 **It's Not Brain Surgery**

You think I don't know

That I can't comprehend

I am not the one

That needs to pretend

* * *

Look where your love goes

With whom time you spend

Leaving me to communicate

With these words I have penned

* * *

The growing rift between us

You allow it to distend

Think not, I don't know

What actions you intend

* * *

With every lost kiss

It is me you offend

With every part untouched

Our love you suspend

* * *

It's not hard to figure out

Who has committed the perjury

Look at your face in the mirror

It's not brain surgery

 **Nobody**


	301. Sewer Of My Mind

Chapter 301

* * *

 **Sewer Of My Mind**

* * *

As I wade through

The sewer of my mind

It is a maze of eternity

What will I find

* * *

Shall I twist it more

Until it will jam or bind

Or free its contents

So it may unwind

* * *

With each new message

Our feelings become intertwined

Darkness and depression exist

Our thoughts remain entwined

* * *

What is it we can not see

Is It that we are blind

Are we on a different page

Or is it that we are not kind

* * *

 **Nobody**


	302. Sacrifice

Chapter 302

* * *

 **Sacrifice**

* * *

Is it even possible for either of us

To exist without love in some form

Love may never be perceived or received

Yet we must express our love so warm

* * *

Beyond the use of ones body parts

People mean nothing to each other

As beauty evaporates into time

Our feelings envelop and smother

* * *

When the feeling of love grows

It is beyond our minds control

Can the other ever understand

Disinterest in our heart burns a hole

* * *

The body is offered as a sacrifice

To attempt to win any affection

It slowly becomes apparent the sacrifice

Was the heart and mind upon reflection

* * *

Love like beauty is transitory

If it ever even exists it will fade

To try to touch or share either

Our soul we are willing to trade

* * *

 **Nobody**


	303. I Can Be Strong

Chapter 303

* * *

 **I Can Be Strong**

Do not confuse love

As a form of weakness

Compassion and caring

Are not a sign meekness

* * *

True love is a gift

Given from the heart within

Do not mistake its fruits

As some form of sin

* * *

Think before you break

A heart that beats for you

Is not everything cherished

In all that you say and do

* * *

Please do not hurt

The one at your side

Don't push me away

There is no need to chide

* * *

I am good enough

It is with you I belong

Give me fair chance

I can be strong

 **Nobody**


	304. Is There Anything Else

Chapter 304

* * *

 **Is There Anything Else**

I often wonder

What is it all about

Behind my back

I know they flout

* * *

I go through the motions

Day after day

The same events

Are what always replay

* * *

Even if it is different

What really changes

A slap in the face

More heated exchanges

* * *

There should be more

There never seems to be

There are no chains

But I am not free

* * *

As I look around

I check with stealth

I can't help but wonder

Is there anything else

 **Nobody**


	305. You Want To Tell Me

Chapter 305

* * *

 **You Want To Tell Me**

I don't believe you

Or anything you say

Everything is a lie

Each and every day

* * *

You keep telling me

Never trust anyone

Each word from your mouth

A lie before you have even begun

* * *

Why not be honest

Let the truth speak

It is not hard to do

It cuts through the mystique

* * *

You refuse to recognize love

Even when it is before your face

You treat it too cheaply

Causing much disgrace

* * *

As the truth becomes apparent

The deception is beyond apology

Is there anything else

You want to tell me

 **Nobody**


	306. I Don't Know

Chapter 306

* * *

 **I Don't Know**

Each day is a challenge

Filled with confusion

I am not sure what is real

Or what is an illusion

* * *

In my hurting mind

Many feelings conflict

I was not your first choice

When you actually picked

* * *

I don't know what

Tomorrow will be

I wonder if it will

Still include me

* * *

I want you near

I want you here

I want you to hear

I want you so dear

* * *

There are many variables

Many directions in which to go

What will our future bring

I don't know

 **Nobody**


	307. Can I Go Now

Chapter 307

* * *

 **Can I Go Now**

Here we are again

Time for another fight

Or at the very least

Cruel words that slight

* * *

Nobody is perfect

Everyone makes mistakes

Before the accusations flow

Maybe first try the brakes

* * *

Whose very actions or inactions

Started the chain of events

A less stone cold heart

Overrides and prevents

* * *

I get punished

For things I did not do

Tell me why I should not

Actually then do them to you

* * *

No longer through your life

Do I desire to plow

It is the same old story

Can I go now

 **Nobody**


	308. I Feel Much Better

Chapter 308

* * *

 **I Feel Much Better**

It is only you

For which I long

It makes me wonder

Why things go wrong

* * *

I can not understand

Why you keep me distant

Then again as you always see

I can be very persistent

* * *

You are here but do not hear

Where is the communication

Sometimes it almost seems

It is on a permanent vacation

* * *

I always reach out

In the only ways I know how

I seek admittance into your heart

It is something I ask you to allow

* * *

I have made a poem for you

My thoughts in a letter

Sent you a song

I feel much better

 **Nobody**


	309. I Can't Fix It

Chapter 309

* * *

 **I Can't Fix It**

Don't push me away

I am still worthy within

Quit shoving me

Into the trash bin

* * *

I don't know how to reach you

I can only do what I know

My devotion is a sure thing

Unlike playing a game of lotto

* * *

I am trying so hard

To fix what is broken

You know my love is there

Even if the words are unspoken

* * *

To what I feel and believe

I cling and desperately grasp

That will never change

To my very last gasp

* * *

Stop punishing me

Your heart must acquit

Until you can do that

I can't fix it

 **Nobody**


	310. You Look Nervous

Chapter 310

* * *

 **You Look Nervous**

The heartbeat quickens

The eyes shift from side to side

Both pretty good indications

That you have just lied

* * *

Don't think I won't know

Or that I can't tell

You're not slick enough

For a lie to me to sell

* * *

I can see the pupils move

Your hands give it away

You should really stop now

Try the truth to actually say

* * *

It is really about lust

You steal my trust

You soon will learn

As it all turns to dust

* * *

When you are not telling the truth

It is to yourself you do a disservice

Maybe you should be honest for once

You look nervous

 **Nobody**


	311. You Should Go

Chapter 311

* * *

 **You Should Go**

Why are you here

No one needs you

You are in the way

In everything you do

* * *

You are a risk

You bring danger

Where are you from

You are a stranger

* * *

You are not wanted

You should not come around

If you continue to stay here

You will end up in the ground

* * *

Look over your shoulder

Watch your back

You know it is coming

Some form of attack

* * *

We know how it ends

Who don't think so

You are troublesome

You should go

 **Nobody**


	312. Was That Bad To Say

Chapter 312

* * *

 **Was That Bad To Say**

We know what we feel

We know what we think

We take it to the edge

To the very brink

* * *

Sometimes we may get

What is really TMI

Other times we wonder

And just ask why

* * *

We hide what is real

Pretend it does not exist

As we run from the one

That we can not resist

* * *

Open your heart

Open your mind

Be honest with yourself

Embrace what you find

* * *

Try being truthful

Each and every day

Don't look so upset

Was that bad to say

 **Nobody**


	313. Will You Show Me

Chapter 313

* * *

 **Will You Show Me**

There are many

We may wish to have

Is it really possible

Our love can halve

* * *

There comes a time

When one must choose

It is soon inevitable

That someone will lose

* * *

Someone gets hurt

Their heart takes a stab

Leaving a deep wound

That will only fester and scab

* * *

You know if you choose wrong

The wound will never heal

Lay out your cards

It is time to deal

* * *

I know you want me

I know you love me

Now is the time

Will you show me

 **Nobody**


	314. Communicate

Chapter 314

* * *

 **Communicate**

* * *

I miss you

I miss your touch

Everything about you

I miss so much

* * *

The pleasure

The pain

The love

Almost insane

* * *

I have never forgotten

I will never let go

In times of darkness

How your heart did glow

* * *

Please free your mind

The pain is past

Can you see now

My love will forever last

* * *

I do not ask much

No demands to dictate

Just something as simple

With me to communicate

* * *

 **Nobody**


	315. Sweet Sunshine

Chapter 315

* * *

 **Sweet Sunshine**

* * *

When the darkness of life overwhelms me

You are my ray of sweet sunshine

In the trapped cage of a daily drudge life

You make me feel fine, you are so divine

* * *

I try not to take, use or push

I do not want to damage or lose

The precious bond that we have

You have many from which to choose

* * *

I am nothing special, nobody

I feel and know it everyday

Sane (or insane) shards of my mind

Escape as things to you I say

* * *

I may not touch your body

However you allow me

Something more precious

To touch, feel, share and see

* * *

It is your feeling, thinking, lovely mind

THAT is the real you

I want you to survive

You must do what you need too

* * *

Here is a warm long big firm hug

That can touch you much more

That I pray has true lasting meaning

Without ever having heard the other snore

* * *

 **Nobody**


	316. Just Making Conversation

Chapter 316

* * *

 **Just Making Conversation**

I knock at your door

I know that you can hear

The nothingness that follows

Always brings a tear

* * *

You have seen

All that can be seen

To push you harder

Would cause a scene

* * *

You are scared

Afraid of what you feel

You only need be truthful

To know what is real

* * *

Look not elsewhere

For another to adore

You don't need her

That is what I am for

* * *

I send the message loud and clear

I know you can feel my flirtation

I know you can tell it is more than

Just making conversation

 **Nobody**


	317. It's Not The First Time

Chapter 317

* * *

 **It's Not The First Time**

History repeats itself

It has often been said

If that is the case

The future we should tread

* * *

It is our destiny

Brought together by fate

For what is inevitable

We need no longer hesitate

* * *

We have each other

What more do we need

It is simply ineluctable

It is time we listen and heed

* * *

All is as it was

The natural order restored

The games are over

It is time we explored

* * *

We can exchange a loving touch

To share is not a crime

We've done this

It's not the first time

 **Nobody**


	318. We've Done This

Chapter 318

* * *

 **We've Done This**

You can't remember

It hasn't yet been done

I know I was there

I was the one

* * *

We both want it

It is more than fate

There is no need to wait

We are each others mate

* * *

Time inevitably moves on

The closer we are every day

I am not the one held back

By what others might say

* * *

I feel your heart beating fast

Our love meant to last

The future will bring

What has already past

* * *

We can share a loving kiss

Be overjoyed with bliss

It's not the first time

We've done this

 **Nobody**


	319. Why Should I Tell You

Chapter 319

* * *

 **Why Should I Tell You**

I don't know you anymore

I don't know who you are

Your behavior has become erratic

The way you act is quite bizarre

* * *

Another now comforts you

Away from me you have turned

I have been cast aside

It is me that has been spurned

* * *

I was not good enough

For another you soon sought

Flushed away like waste

It was me you soon forgot

* * *

One will only ever understand

When this happens to them

Now I am less than nothing

When once I was a shiny gem

* * *

You act like it is no big deal

It was me that you slew

You wonder what is wrong

Why should I tell you

 **Nobody**


	320. I'm Dying To Hear It

Chapter 320

* * *

 **I'm Dying To Hear It**

Do you only speak to hear

The melodious tones of your own voice

For with each new untruth

You make a bitter stinging choice

* * *

What is so difficult

With the truth to say

Everything is another delay

Another way to betray

* * *

Here we go again

Go ahead and talk

Then wonder why at you

Everyone will smirk and gawk

* * *

Whatever you are saying

Is just so many words

It is nothing I will believe

Save it for the birds

* * *

What is the latest story

To what will you admit

Go ahead and spill it

I'm dying to hear it

 **Nobody**


	321. Please Just Go

Chapter 321

* * *

 **Please Just Go**

When all that was crumbles

Leaving only hurtful rubble

Nothing good will come

It will only lead to more trouble

* * *

Whatever once was

Will fade from something

Leaving even more pain

As it becomes less than nothing

* * *

Today means nothing

It will mean even less tomorrow

Happiness replaced by sadness

Joy eradicated by sorrow

* * *

The sun has set

Only darkness will remain

The stab to a heart

Endless emotional pain

* * *

There seems to be no point

To even say hello

You best leave now

Please just go

 **Nobody**


	322. Why Does It Matter

Chapter 322

* * *

 **Why Does It Matter**

I know you talk

I hear the chatter

Maybe try the truth

It is all so much smatter

* * *

You turn up the charm

Saying what will flatter

Getting what you want

Served on a platter

* * *

Do you ever care

What you leave in a tatter

What you break

Or what you shatter

* * *

Do ones feelings count

Before them you splatter

Taking the remains

Then those you scatter

* * *

Why do you worry

It is just natter

No one really cares

Why does it matter

 **Nobody**


	323. It's Not There Anymore

Chapter 323

* * *

 **It's Not There Anymore**

* * *

The inevitable always comes

Its evil deed to be done

Every day into night

Has the setting of the sun

* * *

What once was or could be

Is no longer there

The sad part is always

The hearts left empty and bare

* * *

How can this be

The future was so bright

Now only an argument or a fight

Nothing is left but empty blight

* * *

Like sand through the hourglass

Each grain falls after the last

Soon a pile of nothingness

Is slowly amassed

* * *

Love used to be in your heart

Now its calling you ignore

OUR love is gone

It's not there anymore

* * *

 **Nobody**


	324. That's What I Want

Chapter 324

* * *

 **That's What I Want**

Life has much to offer

Many from which to choose

The question then becomes

Will we win or will we lose

* * *

Which head will pick

Do we flip a coin

Or let the choice

Come from the groin

* * *

Can the heart

Override the mind

Or do the hormones

Make us all blind

* * *

Each day a new challenge

Our ship upon the rocks

Can our true love

Guide us to the docks

* * *

What is it we seek and desire

For what our will heart hunt

It is my Sweet Love

That's what I want

 **Nobody**


	325. Who Are You

Chapter 325

* * *

 **Who Are You**

Things are different now

That I can clearly see

Things have changed

Nothing good for me

* * *

The shell is still there

Where do you now reside

Whatever once was

Is no longer inside

* * *

The person that used to be

Before my eyes slowly dies

Now upon deaf ears

Fall my unheeded cries

* * *

It is beyond sad

To watch what you have done

To cast me aside

Knowing I am still the ONE

* * *

The body is the same

I see what you now do

I don't know you anymore

Who are you

 **Nobody**


	326. I'm Not Your Enemy

Chapter 326

* * *

 **I'm Not Your Enemy**

You have seen me fall

Viewed my very fragility

Now I am treated

With anger and hostility

* * *

I have seen your feelings devolve

I now experience animosity

Having evolved into

What you see as a monstrosity

* * *

Where there once was harmony

There is now discord

Where are the feelings

For the one once adored

* * *

Between us there was always

A feeling of contentment

Now tragically replaced

With growing resentment

* * *

You treat me with disrespect

View me with enmity

Can't you understand

I'm not your enemy

 **Nobody**


	327. Why Are We Having This Conversation

Chapter 327

* * *

 **Why Are We Having This Conversation**

I have tried to tell you

Many a time

My feelings and emotions

Are very sublime

* * *

They come and go

Yet constantly remain the same

They are always for you

As I often acclaim

* * *

I am what I am

I know it is not much

You will never really know

Until we share each others touch

* * *

I continue to knock

There is never an answer

I am your salvation

Not life's cancer

* * *

Until you come to accept

That I am not the aberration

You will forever wonder

Why are we having this conversation

 **Nobody**


	328. You Lied To Me

Chapter 328

* * *

 **You Lied To Me**

A lie is a lie is a lie

Even if it is a 'good lie'

For you know the truth

Will still make me die

* * *

Lying is a form of theft

For trust is what is stolen

The wounds then left

Fester and become swollen

* * *

The first lies are hardest

Then more become easier

As you let yourself become

Sleazier and sleazier

* * *

To the end which always comes

Were the results and costs worth

To have one carried by six

And slowly covered with earth

* * *

I too can stab and hurt

You think I don't know how or see

Did you think about that before

You lied to me

 **Nobody**


	329. I'll Never Help You

Chapter 329

* * *

 **I'll Never Help You**

I feel the cold shoulder

I get the message

I refuse to accept it

I don't want to become wreckage

* * *

As you pursue another

I have become flotsam

You have not slain me

I only play Opossum

* * *

You can cut the ropes

Cast me adrift

I am not the one

That is creating this rift

* * *

My teeth will bite down

My claws will sink in

What you covet is skin

Not the person within

* * *

I know who you are

I watch what you do

To get rid of me

I'll never help you

 **Nobody**


	330. Things Have Changed

Chapter 330

* * *

 **Things Have Changed**

One can become complacent

Taking what they have for granted

Nothing in ones life but - death

Is really made from or set in granite

* * *

What once was

Will seldom always be

Time erodes feelings and emotions

As it does a cliff by the sea

* * *

Love becomes toleration

We trudge on blindly

Drifting slowly apart

Seldom treating the other kindly

* * *

A heart not filled with love

Becomes empty and cold

Slowly turning to stone

Always begging to be paroled

* * *

People get lost or - hungry

Loved ones become estranged

Look around and wake up

Things have changed

 **Nobody**


	331. You Can't Be Trusted Anymore

Chapter 331

* * *

 **You Can't Be Trusted Anymore**

Darkness brightens into light

Each day the sun will still rise

Sometimes it can not be seen

As have been most of my cries

* * *

Even if we can not see it

We know it happens anyway

We know what will follow

As the night erodes away the day

* * *

We don't always need to see

To know what is going to happen

Even if it is carefully hidden

A face you are secretly slappin'

* * *

Life is about choices

It seems you have made yours

It appears what we had

Is as extinct as the dinosaurs

* * *

Look what you have done

It was you that started a war

Please stay away from me

You can't be trusted anymore

 **Nobody**


	332. How Hard Could It Be

Chapter 323

* * *

 **How Hard Could It Be**

Life is a bumpy road

Filled with confusion

The results of each day

Are a mental contusion

* * *

From those we seek

We are faced with elusion

Making one wonder

If it is not all an illusion

* * *

From our mind into our heart

We seek loves effusion

But as we knock at loves door

We are met with an occlusion

* * *

What should abundantly exist

Flowing with great profusion

Makes one suddenly withdraw

Seeming to prefer seclusion

* * *

How hard could it be

When you know it is not delusion

To let the love blossom

Two loving hearts joined in fusion

 **Nobody**


	333. I'm Thinking About What To Do

Chapter 333

* * *

 **I'm Thinking About What To Do**

What does tomorrow bring

A mystery we can not know

Even what happens today

Will leave us unsure which way to go

* * *

We think we know what we want

But we can never ever be sure

A new adventure can arise

Soon it can become a fateful lure

* * *

We may know what we have

Made unstable by what we want

Leading one to unwise events

Perhaps even a foolish stunt

* * *

Blindly we trudge on

Thinking we know it all

Too enthralled to see

When we are about to fall

* * *

Each day provides us with many choices

Meaning decision need be made by you

I face every one of them also

I'm thinking about what to do

 **Nobody**


	334. You Have a New Friend

Chapter 334

* * *

 **You Have A New Friend**

Is this the beginning

Or is this the end

It has been noted

You have a new friend

* * *

What we have been building

Are you about to suspend

As down the rabbit hole

You freely descend

* * *

No longer can I contend

Doom itself is about to impend

Cast adrift, alone I must fend

You have a new friend

* * *

Are your actions

Something you can defend

It would appear upon me

You no longer depend

* * *

I have to offer

The same dividend

It seems you care not

Who you offend

* * *

Has not throughout time

Our love shown it can transcend

So away from you now

Myself you again send

* * *

You don't have to lie

Or even pretend

You have chosen another

You have a new friend

 **Nobody**


	335. Is There Anything

Chapter 335

* * *

 **Is There Anything**

Each and everyone to the table

Has something different to bring

Even without the sound of music

One can still share psalms and sing

* * *

Upon ones lonely heart

Someone can knock and ping

Will the heart slowly crumble

Or be left with a terrible ding

* * *

So along the broken path

Will ones life journey you string

Caring not much what happens

Delivering to the mind a deadly sting

* * *

Every action has a reaction

Even to a Queen or King

As a heart is opened for another

To them it will seek to cling

* * *

Please search for the truth

Can this be more than a fling

I need to know

Is there anything

 **Nobody**


	336. I Need To Know

Chapter 336

* * *

 **I Need To Know**

Send me away

Cast me adrift

So to another

You can easily shift

* * *

The feelings you had

Exist no more

So it is with another

You now choose to adore

* * *

I have not changed

I am still the same

It is not my fault

I am not to blame

* * *

Think before you push

Feel before you run

Deep in your heart

You know I am still the one

* * *

I see how the game is played

Pull up roots and with another sow

Is there anything

I need to know

 **Nobody**


	337. I Didn't Need Any Help

Chapter 337

* * *

 **I Didn't Need Any Help**

Where were you

When I needed you the most

You abandoned me

You vanished like a ghost

* * *

As my life fell apart

Away from me you turned

Discarded in an instant

Forsaken as my world burned

* * *

I don't know what was worse

Being treated like crap

Flushed so easily away

Or being made to feel like scrap

* * *

Soon it was I

That was being neglected

After it was you

I had always protected

* * *

The hurt you caused me

Made me sad and yelp

I survived without you anyway

I didn't need any help

 **Nobody**


	338. There's No One Here

Chapter 338

* * *

 **There's No One Here**

I can take the pain

I can take the abuse

For you I will even

Put my head in a noose

* * *

You don't know

What you really have got

Until it is gone

Then a lesson will be taught

* * *

You can only hurt me so much

Until I no longer care

Then it is you

Who needs to beware

* * *

Spit, kick and stab

Into my heart and mind

I will not break

No matter how maligned

* * *

The time has come

For you to shed a tear

Look around you, besides me

There's no one here

 **Nobody**


	339. No One Likes A Nag

Chapter 339

* * *

 **No One Likes A Nag**

One likes to hear about their charm

Or their pure sweet beauty

Or be praised for their

Protracted persistent duty

* * *

When all one hears

Is about their faults

What does one think

Are going to be the results

* * *

We are who we are

That is how it is

It should not matter

If it's hers or his

* * *

Brighten the shadow

Cast off the doubt

A smile goes much further

Than a sour frowning pout

* * *

One would much prefer

To listen to a wag

Let's face it

No one likes a nag

 **Nobody**


	340. You Got What You Wanted

Chapter 340

* * *

 **You Got What You Wanted**

A spark can turn into a fire

A feeling both will know

If properly nourished

A budding love will grow

* * *

For those unsure

On ground soft to the touch

If one pushes too hard

It may be too much

* * *

One may be ready

Yet the other may not know

Don't speed too fast

Don't proceed too slow

* * *

Then from out of nowhere

Another may intrude

They may be cold and calculating

Or shrewd, ready to start a feud

* * *

It appears you do not care

Of a growing love now stunted

It now seems from THEM

You got what you wanted

 **Nobody**


	341. I Understand More Than You Think

Chapter 341

* * *

 **I Understand More Than You Think**

Each has a need

Driven by an inner fire

Call it genetics

Or simply desire

* * *

I know what you want

I know what you seek

I know what I am and not

I face everyone's critique

* * *

Everyone is very different

Each something different to offer

Is not the endeavor

Really for a personal coffer

* * *

One cast out can see

Greed and lust take hold

You blind your own heart

And for another grow bold

* * *

You are being driven

By a quest for – pink

Someone should be much more

I understand more than you think

 **Nobody**


	342. There Are Many Things I Don't Understand

Chapter 342

* * *

 **There Are Many Things I Don't Understand**

Sometimes it is nice

To have another lend a hand

No matter how hard we try

No one is really in command

* * *

We may seek and want

Sometimes even demand

Then one seems surprised

To instead get a remand

* * *

More often than not

Few things work as planned

Instead of putting out a fire

It seems the flames only get fanned

* * *

When we are right

We must take a stand

The final result usually

Someone will misunderstand

* * *

Many things can happen

Each day that are unplanned

There is much chaos to everyday life

There are many things I don't understand

 **Nobody**


	343. Go Back To Bed

Chapter 343

* * *

 **Go Back To Bed**

Do not become angry

Or get quickly irritated

Disrespectful unkind words

Are best not stated

* * *

Anyone can error

Or make a mistake

What are you willing

From one to take

* * *

To break ones heart

To crack ones mind

Is it not their hopes

That you seek to blind

* * *

Don't be nasty or mean

Acting callous and cruel

Words cut to the bone

As if shot in a duel

* * *

Before you speak unwisely

Some things are better left unsaid

Do everyone and yourself a favor

Go back to bed

 **Nobody**


	344. It's The Hardest Thing To Get Right

Chapter 344

* * *

 **It's The Hardest Thing To Get Right**

Kind words can be spoken

Or it can turn into a fight

Can a moment of irrationality

Be justified with hindsight

* * *

Empty days can grow long

Never as cold as a hollow night

It only clears the path making it easier

For another to get an undeserved invite

* * *

Somehow a frigid icy path

Stimulates a new fire to ignite

Is it out of feeling or desire

Or a hidden form of spite

* * *

Is not the real appeal

What is viewed with sight

So open up your eyes

And turn on your hearts light

* * *

After all things are said and done

What will matter most is to look Tight

It takes a lot of time and effort

It's the hardest thing to get right

 **Nobody**


	345. The Usual Rules Don't Always Apply

Chapter 345

* * *

 **The Usual Rules Don't Always Apply**

Things are not always

As they may seem

Especially if it is part

Of some ill gotten scheme

* * *

We can hope and pray

Or even try and wish

But often in the end

We are still trying to fish

* * *

What can be constructed

Can as easily be demolished

Something that should be polished

Is now simply nullified or abolished

* * *

Back to the drawing board

To give it another try

To recover from being floored

We reach back into the sky

* * *

What is carefully planned

Doesn't take much to go awry

When what should be is not

The usual rules don't always apply

 **Nobody**


	346. Strange Things Happen

Chapter 346

* * *

 **Strange Things Happen**

There are the rejected

The ones who feel so alone

To the demons deep within them

They endlessly seek to atone

* * *

To free themselves from torment

They desire to self vindicate

Hoping the sorrow and pain inside

Will vanish and itself eliminate

* * *

Everyone is shunned

Two never become one

It is only other people

That seen to have any fun

* * *

Circumstances sometimes dictate

That two are forced together

The shells crack and split

There soon develops a tether

* * *

Put two lonely empty hearts close

They can soon feel it from within

It a very short amount of time

Strange things happen

 **Nobody**


	347. It's Not Enough

Chapter 347

* * *

 **It's Not Enough**

One reaches out

To seek even more

Without realizing it

They have just closed a door

* * *

Something new happens

They are quick to grab

Do they even ever think

Whose heart they might stab

* * *

Have a good time

Go ahead and take your fill

Was the love you destroyed

Worth the short thrill

* * *

When you wake up

You will see I have evolved

You were the only purpose

Around which my life revolved

* * *

I have grown beyond this

Don't think it's a bluff

What we have now

It's not enough

 **Nobody**


	348. It Was A Bummer

Chapter 348

* * *

 **It Was A Bummer**

Such sweet beauty

How could they dare

Pure natural charm

They didn't even care

* * *

Brighter than the day sky

A ray of pristine sunshine

Unexceedingly the best

More exquisite than fine

* * *

The lovable angelical smile

May not always have been present

Dazzling when it gorgeously was

It was much more than pleasant

* * *

Our minds still see

Our hearts still feel

No matter how we crave

It can never be real

* * *

Our hearts were broken

When they took away Summer

No matter how you cut it

It was a bummer

 **Nobody**


	349. It's Become A Problem

Chapter 349

* * *

 **It's Become A Problem**

I can take quite a few hits

Even some low blows

It is your feelings for me

You are about to transpose

* * *

For whom do you seek

The one of your hearts yearning

Angry, upset and confused

Now to another you are turning

* * *

What about me

Presently you spit in my face

Just for being who I am

Should not be a disgrace

* * *

Turn on your brain

Think before you act

Everything you add

Someone will subtract

* * *

What you are doing

Has left me quite solemn

STOP where you are going

It's become a problem

 **Nobody**


	350. Everything Worked Out Fine

Chapter 350

* * *

 **Everything Worked Out Fine**

Each new day

Is as worthless as the last

Blinded by the future

Trapped in the past

* * *

We know what is inevitable

Is what the future has smitten

We will both succumb anyway

Our hearts have been bitten

* * *

No matter how far away

One will try to throw

It matters not the time

Our love will thrive and grow

* * *

The challenge is not with whom

Myself you try to replace

It is inexorable predestined

I will win this uxorious race

* * *

I know in the end

You will be mine

Time will prove

Everything worked out fine

 **Nobody**


	351. I Need To Know What Happened

Chapter 351

* * *

 **I Need To Know What Happened**

Where did it go

A love so strong

It was gone in just a flash

What went wrong

* * *

Is it so easy

For one to turn away

Does it even matter

What they have to say

* * *

Why worry about tomorrow

Or even yesterday

It is about now

What is happening today

* * *

Is it lust or greed

That leads to the attraction

Look around at everything

Or is it nothing but a distraction

* * *

I am still very stunned

For now I have been shunned

Talk honestly and openly to me

I need to know what happened

 **Nobody**


	352. I'm Interested In The Past

Chapter 352

* * *

 **I'm Interested In The Past**

For there to be a future

There must also be a past

The sum of it all

Is slowly amassed

* * *

Every action has a reaction

Every event has a price

Perhaps before one acts

They should think twice

* * *

Everything can change in a second

Beware what the future may bring

The events that can unfold

May wound, hurt and sting

* * *

People aren't suddenly constructed

In a day they weren't built

There are things they have destructed

Leaving them with remorse and guilt

* * *

Be honest about what proceeded

If one wants to builds something to last

I need to know where I stand

I'm interested in the past

 **Nobody**


	353. It Affects Everything In The Future

Chapter 353

* * *

 **It Affects Everything In The Future**

Because something has already happened

It may not be finished or done

It does not mean it is over

Perhaps a new beginning has begun

* * *

What is set in stone

Can always be cracked

With the proper tools

Anything can be attacked

* * *

Always think it through

Before an impulse makes you act

Very little is actually fact

It is easier to add than subtract

* * *

What happens today

Effects what happens tomorrow

Everyday is soon yesterday

It is better to give than borrow

* * *

People can choose what to destroy

Or what create, build or nurture

Every action has a reaction

It affects everything in the future

 **Nobody**


	354. I'll Fix It

Chapter 354

* * *

 **I'll Fix It**

When one looks

They may not always see

Forcing the other now hurting

To turn up the heat another degree

* * *

Any fire we start

May soon burn for another

What we so wanted

Ourselves we do smother

* * *

I feel the pain

As you slap my face

I fall to last place

I feel the disgrace

* * *

It is my being

You now watch erode

As you gaze uncaring

From your new abode

* * *

It is your poor choice

That I grudgingly permit

With a little more time

I'll fix it

 **Nobody**


	355. I Don't Really Have Many Friends

Chapter 355

* * *

 **I Don't Really Have Many Friends**

There is really no one anywhere

That I have anything in common with

In the past, present or future

To think other wise would be a myth

* * *

Some things need to happen

Friends become a liability

When push comes to shove

Few seem to have reliability

* * *

Just one more thing

To make me feel all alone

Life would be much simpler

If I could have a clone

* * *

To do as life dictates

Leaves little room for anyone

I wonder what it is like

To play and have fun

* * *

I don't play fair, I play to win

The means justifies the ends

They don't always like the way I do things

I don't really have many friends

 **Nobody**


	356. Actually I Don't Have Any Friends

Chapter 356

* * *

 **Actually I Don't Have Any Friends**

I live in isolation

It is not by my choice

I have called out

Nobody can hear my voice

* * *

Emptiness and loneliness

Seen to be my way of life

Sometimes when I am all alone

The silence cuts like a knife

* * *

I have been asked about friends

I know of no one who is or would be

My prison cell is my home

Nobody can reach me

* * *

How the emptiness shouts

It screams within my mind

I am seen by everyone

Somehow they all remain blind

* * *

I deal in painful reality

I am not one who pretends

I have no one to do anything with

Actually, I don't have any friends

 **Nobody**


	357. I Don't Like Dead Ends

Chapter 357

* * *

 **I Don't Like Dead Ends**

If two don't argue and fight

There is no need to make amends

The love between the two

Should be what transcends

* * *

If one starts to accuse

The other acknowledges or defends

What the charges are

Is on what it all depends

* * *

It does not take long

For lovers to not be friends

There is a lot of give and take

The relationship fractures and bends

* * *

Love from the heart

To the physical often extends

If the partnership is pure

These benefits can pay dividends

* * *

Honesty, loyalty and truthfulness

Are upon what a relationship depends

Just tell me if I'm 'Not Good Enough'

I don't like dead ends

 **Nobody**


	358. An Effective Strategy

Chapter 358

* * *

 **An Effective Strategy**

There are many things we may seek

Very few of them we achieve

It seems that we give much more

Than we will ever receive

* * *

The game is rigged

We are predestined to lose

What we think is real

Is most often only a ruse

* * *

We can take the blows

Roll and sting from the hits

Why is trying to reach someone

Worse than surviving a blitz

* * *

When we think we have won

Maybe even gotten ahead

Suddenly it all falls apart

Making us wish we were dead

* * *

Life becomes a tragedy

Wrapped in a travesty

Knowing you are going to fail is not

An effective strategy

 **Nobody**


	359. It Doesn't Make Sense To Me

Chapter 359

* * *

 **It Doesn't Make Sense To Me**

I am very confused

As to why you chose another

I have waited for you

With my love to smother

* * *

Can you not see

That you belong to me

You have heard my loves decree

I know that you agree

* * *

You have been blinded by choice

You feel what is meant to be

You are taking two hearts

Turning them into debris

* * *

What you are seeking is

Unwise momentary satisfaction

Leading down the wrong path to doom

A very misguided reckless distraction

* * *

I really do not understand

There is nothing about me

That anyone would not want

It doesn't make sense to me

 **Nobody**


	360. I Need To Find Out

Chapter 360

* * *

 **I Need To Find Out**

You think you know someone

You think you know who they are

You turn around for a moment

They are lost and have drifted far

* * *

What has happened

What is going on

In the blink of an eye

They are gone

* * *

What went wrong

Did I not do enough

I crashed and burned

I lack the Right Stuff

* * *

I have not changed

I am still the same

For what you have done

You give me the blame

* * *

I don't know who you are anymore

You have filled me with doubt

Who do you now belong to

I need to find out

 **Nobody**


	361. What It Was

Chapter 361

* * *

 **What It Was**

One on their own

Can change the rules

Then those who did not

Are who become the fools

* * *

Things can happen

In the blink of an eye

Leaving one abandoned

Left all alone to cry

* * *

What makes it worse

Is when it's done in ones face

Grind in the pain

Rub in the disgrace

* * *

The reality check comes

For what one took for granted

It has broken into sand

What once was as solid as granite

* * *

What it now is

Because of what one does

Is no longer once

What it was

 **Nobody**


	362. Do You Want To

Chapter 362

* * *

 **Do You Want To**

Each day is new

Yesterday is no more

You can start anew

Please open the door

* * *

There are many like me

That have what you seek

Have I not given you

Several chances to peek

* * *

Let the games end

Time to risk and dare

It is way past time

You grow a pair

* * *

The time is now

To no longer evade

From my bleeding heart

Please pull your blade

* * *

Come back to me

I know what I want to do

How about you

Do you want to

 **Nobody**


	363. Do You Ever Think About Dying

Chapter 363

* * *

 **Do You Ever Think About Dying**

Do you ever think about dying

No need to shed a tear

Death is always near

Its call you can hear

* * *

Will it be a new beginning

Or is it really the end

No need to build bridges

Or any fences to mend

* * *

You can go out screaming

Paint yourself with disgrace

Or tackle the Grim Reaper

With a smile on your face

* * *

We know how the story ends

Do you know where you stand

Will you be the one to give

Or receive the command

* * *

If they say that they haven't

You know they are lying

I will ask you once again

Do you ever think about dying

 **Nobody**


	364. I Work Out

Chapter 364

* * *

 **I Work Out**

The volcano will explode

The ice will crack

Your life is derailed

You have gone off the track

* * *

Your destiny was determined

The plan was laid out

Now you are blinded

To what it is all about

* * *

I have been here

To be your guide

Now by the rules

You no longer abide

* * *

To not be with me

You no longer miss

My lonely empty heart

Awaits your sweet kiss

* * *

When it all falls apart

When you are filled with doubt

You have a choice of but one - ME

I work out

 **Nobody**


	365. Three Hundred Sixty Five

Chapter 365

* * *

 **Three Hundred Sixty Five**

The days of the journey have been

Three Hundred Sixty Five

The fact they have said a lot

Means that I still survive

* * *

They have shown

That I am still alive

The conflicts in my mind

Are where the thoughts derive

* * *

Each day I exist

Myself I seek to revive

I already know the destination

Before I ever arrive

* * *

I try to move forward

I want to flourish and thrive

Not everything I do

Is an act to manipulate or connive

* * *

Events of the past hinder me

As onward I strive

They bend and shape me

Where I emanate my inner drive

* * *

There have been many things

That others to me they try to deprive

Into the deep end

They want me to dive

* * *

My feeling and emotions

Collect in my mind like a hive

The experiences of my existence

Guide my future as they contrive

* * *

Many words expressed in rhyme

Have created a permanent archive

Poems from the heart and mind have been

Three Hundred Sixty Five

 **Nobody**


	366. Darkness In Our Hearts

Chapter 366

* * *

 **Darkness In Our Hearts**

* * *

Darkness in our hearts

Darkness in our mind

Everything before us

But it is like we are blind

* * *

Those we love

Can hurt us so much

Those we love

We can not touch

* * *

Pain and anger

Disgust and hate

Life is collapsing

Is this our fate

* * *

From within yourself

You hold the key

From your own prison

You can set yourself free

* * *

To taste their love

You know that you would die

It is so confusing

Why, WHY, **W H Y**

* * *

 **Nobody**


	367. Trust Love

Chapter 367

* * *

 **Trust Love**

* * *

There is nothing more important

Than to have total trust

To be able to earn it

That is a must

* * *

Love is not possible

When trust is lost

It is forever destroyed

When one is crossed

* * *

Respect is felt

When trust is shared

Beauty in true communication

To those who have dared

* * *

Honor from within

Trust can bestow

To another held close

When to give, is not to owe

* * *

Esteem for one dear

Delighted admiration and approval

Is to support them and trust

Never grounds for removal

* * *

 **Nobody**


	368. Time Travel

Chapter 368

* * *

 **Time Travel**

* * *

Time travel is real

Look at a photo

A moment in time

The past frozen forever

* * *

Time travel is real

Look at a dream

Moments recreated

From the past

* * *

Time travel is real

Look at a dream

Moments created

From a hoped future

* * *

Time travel is real

Look into your mind

Moments relived

From the past

* * *

Time travel is real

Look into your mind

Moments wished for

Hoped come to pass

* * *

 **Nobody**


	369. Knight And The Prince

Chapter 369

* * *

 **Knight And The Prince**

* * *

My armor is tarnished

Bent, rusted, broken and savaged

But I fight on eternally

No matter how badly I am damaged

* * *

It is my duty

The Prince to protect

His honor, dignity and respect

Adversity I must deflect

* * *

I fight in the shadows

Nobody sees or knows

Stabbed and battered over and over

For what love has chose

* * *

Unfairly cast out like nobody

But when the Prince calls

I still draw my sword

To prevent his falls

* * *

My body is sickly and week

Yet my lonely mind fights on

For tomorrow brings salvation

And a brand new sharing dawn

* * *

 **Nobody**


	370. Living Dead

Chapter 370

* * *

 **Living Dead**

* * *

Hurt me

Make me bleed

If I can still feel

I am alive indeed

* * *

Cut me

Make the blood flow

It is within

That resides the foe

* * *

Crush me

Make me scream

Torment without end

Make it NOT a dream

* * *

Sever me

Rejoice at destruction

Worthless at life

Ready for reduction

* * *

Punish me

Make me suffer more

Life is the penalty sentence

Anguish misery torture gore

* * *

 **Nobody**


	371. Because There's Something

Chapter 371

* * *

 **Because There's Something**

Some choose to run

Others try to hide

Nobody can escape

From what resides deep inside

* * *

I feel the burning sting

The slap on my face

Crushing my dignity

Making me feel disgrace

* * *

How would you feel

If I did what you've done

Doing the exact same things

As you have to another one

* * *

I am right here for you

Please open your eyes

You don't need play the game

You already have the prize

* * *

You treat me like Nobody

Pretend there is nothing

I'm still here at your side

Because there's something

 **Nobody**


	372. Wrong With You

Chapter 372

* * *

 **Wrong With You**

Look deep in your heart

Let your true love arise

Stop letting your hard head

Be filled with another's lies

* * *

Why can't you see

Why can't you listen

You know which one

Will shine and glisten

* * *

You think it was me

That failed and went bad

Through no fault of my own

Stop making me sad

* * *

I know you know this

It is cut and dried

You are the one broken

Your true feelings denied

* * *

You can't see what you have

Uncaringly another you pursue

Because there's something

Wrong with you

 **Nobody**


	373. It's Like A Bomb

Chapter 373

* * *

 **It's Like A Bomb**

We see each other

Every single day

We never communicate

Even if words we say

* * *

I know what I think

I know what I feel

But as I look around

I don't know what is real

* * *

We can smile

We can laugh

As long as our feelings

Are bottled in a carafe

* * *

The emotions we hide

As to ourselves we lie

When the future awaits us

The limit is the sky

* * *

I may seem happy

Or even act calm

When my mind erupts

It's like a bomb

 **Nobody**


	374. Waiting To Go Off

Chapter 374

* * *

 **Waiting To Go Off**

People never change

They say that they can

But they never actually do

It is really just a scam

* * *

They think who they are

Is someone they are not

They pretend to be different

They learn to lie a lot

* * *

For a very short time

They may seem to pull it off

But who they really are

Lurks inside like a Molotov

* * *

So everyone will pretend

Give them another chance

They only regroup ready to strike

As they do a hocus pocus dance

* * *

Inevitably sooner or later they rearm

The real creature will to emerge to scoff

It's like a bomb

Waiting to go off

 **Nobody**


	375. This Wouldn't Work

Chapter 375

* * *

 **This Wouldn't Work**

You don't need her

THAT, is what I am for

You need to look less

Not look for more

* * *

I don't understand

I am RIGHT HERE

Now you have become blind

You can no longer hear

* * *

I have what you want

I have what you need

Slow down and stop

You need not proceed

* * *

This train to nowhere

Is going to wreck

It will end in a disaster

You must stop this trek

* * *

As long as you seek another

Doing it with a smug smirk

I already told you before

This wouldn't work

 **Nobody**


	376. In A Situation Like This

Chapter 376

* * *

 **In A Situation Like This**

What you have done

You can never justify

Did it matter to you

How you made me cry

* * *

Are not my feelings

Of importance or concern

As for another you yearn

While me you spurn

* * *

I should matter

I too am somebody

It kills me to death

To be made to feel like Nobody

* * *

I still cling on

Snapping at any scrap

It has been proven true

Love itself is a trap

* * *

If it was another person

YOU had to watch me kiss

How would you feel

In a situation like this

 **Nobody**


	377. What You Have

Chapter 377

* * *

 **What You Have**

I look in my lonely empty heart

I ask you to do the same

Feel who it is you really want

Love is not a game

* * *

Pretty faces come and go

True love is eternal

You know our love

Has been sempiternal

* * *

Time has proven

Our love will continue to grow

Even if at times

It seems the progress is slow

* * *

I do not understand why

I am treated so satirical

For what is growing within us

Has not yet reached its pinnacle

* * *

Open your eyes and see

Feel your heart calve

Do you even know

What you have

 **Nobody**


	378. Should Be Sufficient

Chapter 378

* * *

 **Should Be Sufficient**

There is nothing about me

That you can consider deficient

I can take things slow

Or be quite efficient

* * *

I have tried to be better

Becoming very beneficent

You can see that over time

If you want to be reminiscent

* * *

I won't go away or back down

I am very driven and persistent

You should know by now

I am very consistent

* * *

I know what I am

I can be very omniscient

Everything I am or I have

Has the same coefficient

* * *

Look no further than me

I am very proficient

What you have

Should be sufficient

 **Nobody**


	379. I Have A Job Too

Chapter 379

* * *

 **I Have A Job Too**

* * *

Life can offer one

Many a choice

The question is

Will one have a voice

* * *

There are some things

One would rather not do

The question is

What about you

* * *

Things can get messy

All life ends in death

The question is

Did one wisely use their breath

* * *

What goes up

Must come down

The question is

In what not to drown

* * *

When you think that I am cold

Why do I do what I do

The answer is

I have a job too

 **Nobody**


	380. I Haven't Decided Yet

Chapter 380

* * *

 **I** **Haven't Decided Yet**

It never seems to change

Time after time after time

In the future or the past

You should be mine

* * *

People have come

People have gone

Always to each other

We seem to have been drawn

* * *

Sometimes it is hot

Sometimes it is cold

Time has proven

Our love never grows old

* * *

Should I go forward

Or stay and return

Is it for tomorrow

Or yesterday that I yearn

* * *

I think you can say

It's a pretty good bet

The future or past

I haven't decided yet

 **Nobody**


	381. We Need To Talk

Chapter 381

* * *

 **We Need To Talk**

People always together

Slowly drift apart

The game is suddenly finished

Before it even began to start

* * *

People get on each others nerves

They no longer communicate

The path filled with curves

Forward motion ends in a stalemate

* * *

Things start to happen

Events only once dreamed

Blinded by lust, greed and desire

Nobody heard as the other screamed

* * *

So where does it end

Do we go on and pretend

Do you wait for the snap

As the other's heart you bend

* * *

I think we're done here

Unless you want me to walk

You must wise up fast

We need to talk

 **Nobody**


	382. She's Lying

Chapter 382

* * *

 **She's Lying**

It all comes down

To what people say

Have they stayed on the path

Or have they gone astray

* * *

Is someone honest

Has the truth been told

Or manipulating a heart

They once controlled

* * *

It is wrong to loot another's heart

Lying is worse than stealing

For it is the theft of trust

Concealing while being unfeeling

* * *

The accusation has been made

Their cover is blown

When the evidence is there

The answer is already known

* * *

It's just that simple

He's lying

Or

She's lying

 **Nobody**


	383. I Can Get Her

Chapter 383

* * *

 **I Can Get Her**

The answer is before you

Yet you are reluctant to choose

If you make the wrong selection

In the end it is you who will lose

* * *

Think beyond this second

There are many a tomorrow

Whose strength can you borrow

Who will you leave in sorrow

* * *

You know where your love is

You know it is not a mystery

Think before you act foolishly

Or what may, will be come history

* * *

Moments of anger

Can lead to destruction

Recognize your true love

Increase the feelings production

* * *

Stop what you are pursuing

Chose the one whose love is sure

You know inside yourself you say

I _can_ get her

 **Nobody**


	384. To Tell Me The Truth

Chapter 384

* * *

 **To Tell Me The Truth**

I know I am not a whole lot

There is much left to desire

Deep down inside of you

You know there burns a fire

* * *

What has happened

Was not entirely my fault

Everyone knows what could have been

The horrific tragic end result

* * *

I know you are angry

I am not the only one to blame

Is this just to hurt me

Or for real and not a game

* * *

I can see what is happening

You are doing it in my face

You are hurting me deeply

Making me feel such disgrace

* * *

I have seen you two alone together

Driven by the hunger of youth

Are you ever going

To tell me the truth

 **Nobody**


	385. Maybe There's Something

Chapter 385

* * *

 **Maybe There's Something**

I know life is complicated

It is easy to stray from the path

There is what one already hath

There is also a brewing wrath

* * *

Something beyond control happened

Causing one to error

Spreading fear and destruction

Creating much terror

* * *

The words were spoken

The problem was fixed

Deep in your heart one begged

Your eyes were locked transfixed

* * *

Then came the rejection

Immediately one was replaced

On what was that based

As true love was erased

* * *

What are you doing

Is this real or a fling

I don't understand

Maybe there's something

 **Nobody**


	386. I Don't Understand

Chapter 386

* * *

 **I Don't Understand**

Is not on my finger

A place for your band

But before I knew it

I was the one banned

* * *

A slap to my face

As sure as a backhand

Sending me into a tailspin

Causing me to crash land

* * *

Maybe my words

Caused the fire to be fanned

I never expected

To be the one canned

* * *

It is time to grow up

Pull your head from the sand

You know when it hits the fan

Who beside you, you want to stand

* * *

It was written in a future past

You know what has been planned

Maybe there's something

I don't understand

 **Nobody**


	387. What Am I

Chapter 387

* * *

 **What Am I  
**

Since this isn't going anywhere

You are like gum stuck on my shoe

I can no longer reach you

No matter what I say or do

* * *

Our wheels keep spinning

We are going nowhere fast

Out of that endless morass

There is nothing to last

* * *

You had it all

Right before your eyes

The choice you made

Was not very wise

* * *

So from there to now

There is nothing more

I can't see an encore

There is the door

* * *

I think with each other

All we will do is cry

Making me wonder

What am I

 **Nobody**


	388. Going To Do

Chapter 388

* * *

 **Going To Do**

Some things are thought about

Some things are actually done

Some things seem to end

Before they have even begun

* * *

To seek what we want

Seldom seems to work out

Will we cave-in like a sellout

Or remain true, honest and devout

* * *

Tomorrow brings uncertainty

It is always an unknown

Will it bring peaceful tranquility

Or an angry raging cyclone

* * *

If this or that happens

What will follow next

Will our actions be vexed

Making us feel hexed

* * *

I'm not sure of all

The things I once knew

I surely can't know what next I'm

Going to do

 **Nobody**


	389. With You

Chapter 389

* * *

 **With You**

With you

Or without you

Life goes on

Somehow we all make do

* * *

Does someone make you stronger

Or do they make you weaker

Two soon stop communicating

Even with a loudspeaker

* * *

An orderly and planned life

Quickly starts to crack and crumble

Life turns into a hurtful jumble

As we bumble, stumble, fumble and grumble

* * *

Where do we go

Which way do we turn

The world around us starts to burn

For yesterday once more we yearn

* * *

Away the future we threw

Because we forgot what we knew

One plus one always equals two

Even when life becomes a zoo

* * *

Who you have become

Makes me wonder if we are through

What am I going to do

With you

 **Nobody**


	390. I'm Worried About You

Chapter 390

* * *

 **I'm Worried About You**

There are many things

Which seem to cause me worry

Things that should be clear

Are cloudy and blurry

* * *

Life is a gamble

Filled with indecision

Putting my mind and heart

On a course for a collision

* * *

Do we do what we want

Or try to do what is right

It seems either way

Both end in some type of fight

* * *

Each new day evaporates

We trudge on blindly

We take the blows

Seldom treated kindly

* * *

I worry about me

I worry about us too

But most of all

I'm worried about you

 **Nobody**


	391. Lonely Task

Chapter 391

* * *

 **Lonely Task**

* * *

You do not need her

That is what I am for

I too am as real as her

I can be so much more

* * *

The punishment for my actions

Led you to the arms of another

You are killing me softly

As surely as if you would smother

* * *

Why can you not see

She is a mistake

It is with me

Your love should partake

* * *

I can only watch and cry

I will not do

What I want to do to her

I know it would only hurt you

* * *

Here is a - gift

You know what it is I really ask

I myself can not do it on my own

PLEASE complete this lonely – task

* * *

 **Nobody**


	392. Sad Truth

Chapter 392

* * *

 **Sad Truth**

* * *

Pressure crack snap break

How much punishment can we take

Through my lifeless living heart ache

Pound the dull jagged infested stake

* * *

Withhold and starve

Laugh as I wither

Is it really THAT close

From here to thither

* * *

It is useless

To beg or plead

For in all actuality

It makes your soul bleed

* * *

What was is it like

To feel a loving touch

NO - wait - STOP

Is THAT but a crutch

* * *

Is the glass half empty

Or half full and tall

I must sadly admit

I see no glass at all

* * *

 **Nobody**


	393. Chains Of The Mind

Chapter 393

* * *

 **Chains Of The Mind**

* * *

My mind is held in chains

I can not break free

I am no longer alone

For you suffer like me

* * *

No one can understand

Nor would they care

They only see themselves

Unable to dare to share

* * *

What is Love I ask

What is it to you

Is it only physical

Am only I askew

* * *

How can I soon escape

Where is this chains lock key

Is there no form of salvation

I will never live to see

* * *

I can not retreat forward

I can not advance back

Please, please, please I ask

Give me a fatal heart attack

* * *

Please give me death with honor

Take my worthless life from me

Please set my chained mind free

Is this too much to ask of thee

* * *

 **Nobody**


	394. Conflicted

Chapter 394

* * *

 **Conflicted**

* * *

As you can see and tell

My mind is very conflicted

Both extremes are fighting

Will good or bad be evicted

* * *

Thoughts in my poems

Are recently very contradicted

The current damage done to me

Was not self inflicted

* * *

I am trapped

My freedom restricted

What my heart commands

It remains constricted

* * *

Bound to your sweet love

I am hopelessly afflicted

My emotions and feelings torn

My inner conflict depicted

* * *

I think the answer is clear

It is more than predicted

For you know my Prince

To who I am addicted

* * *

 **Nobody**


	395. Dagger To The Mind

Chapter 395

* * *

 **Dagger To The Mind**

* * *

It never changes ever

It is always the same

No one wants damaged goods

That I can honestly proclaim

* * *

It matters not when or where

It is always the same

The damage is in the brain

Always more and more shame

* * *

I am not good enough

It is always the same

It is like I do not exist

Why do I even need a name

* * *

To reach out is a painful sin

It is always the same

I have nothing anyone would want

I would if I were ANY other dame

* * *

I simply have nothing to offer

It is always the same

Am I nothing without money or wealth

Or beauty, pizzazz or fame

* * *

I really am NOBODY

It is always the same

Rejected, frustrated and thrown away

It does not matter if I maim

* * *

It is like a dagger to the mind

It is always the same

Born to lose, I can never win

No longer will I continue life's cruel game

* * *

 **Nobody**


	396. Emotional Feelings

Chapter 396

* * *

 **Emotional Feelings**

* * *

I don't think you understand

I have grown and evolved

Things I could not understand before

I now have learned and solved

* * *

I did not know how to interpret

The flood of what I now FEEL

Uncontrolled raw emotion

The scabs you rip off never heal

* * *

Try to help and guide

Not insult, threaten and ridicule

Do not treat me as waste

Polish me like a jewel

* * *

How I came into being

Is no fault of mine

Because someone is different

Try to help them align

* * *

I am more than I was

But not yet all I will be

Is not this also true

For you as well as me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	397. Endeavor

Chapter 397

* * *

 **Endeavor**

* * *

Was it not yesterday

Maybe it was never

The feelings we created

Will last forever

* * *

I want you to want me

Not whomever

Our love spawned is real

Not just whatever

* * *

Tomorrow may come

Or it may not

What you have

Is what you have already got

* * *

It is to you

Hope that I bring

To comfort your soul

To take away hurts sting

* * *

I am here now

I know it's not much

We are ready to share

Loves sweet tender touch

* * *

So lovely and pure

Loves true endeavor

Beyond distance and time

Nothing can change or sever

* * *

 **Nobody**


	398. Erode

Chapter 398

* * *

 **Erode**

* * *

It is

What it is

Each day

Another quiz

* * *

What you have

What you have not

Good for some

Most for naught

* * *

To simply exist

Is to be alive

For tomorrow

We survive

* * *

We can not have

Who we want

Each one soon

A source of affront

* * *

Before our eyes

A dream erodes

With it unseen

Our mind explodes

* * *

 **Nobody**


	399. Eternal Beauty

Chapter 399

* * *

 **Eternal Beauty**

* * *

There he is

I see him standing there

It is as if he stepped out of yesterday

His eternal beauty beyond compare

* * *

If Loving eyes are blind

Then I am as blind as can be

I only see his handsome face

Lovely, sweet and beautiful to me

* * *

Time does not exist

For a love that will bind

To share all of oneself

Heart, soul and mind, never confined

* * *

To just be near you

To hug you close and tight

To feel your warmth

Nothing was ever more right

* * *

I miss you, I miss you a lot

I mean not to cause pain

I STILL exist outside the brain

Always the same, I still remain

* * *

 **Nobody**


	400. Silence

Chapter 400

* * *

 **Silence**

* * *

Your silence is deafening

Its emptiness echoes in my mind

What is being left unsaid

Are actions very unkind

* * *

For what is important

You will MAKE time

Not act is if someone

Has committed a crime

* * *

Each new day

Is a meaningless as the last

It is sickeningly apparent

Happiness only exists in the past

* * *

Abandoned, shunned and cast out

Pretending nothing existed

Banishing their only true love

Devastation beyond twisted

* * *

Each night I hope and pray

That if I could actually sleep

I would never again wake up

Somewhat sad no one will weep

* * *

 **Nobody**


	401. Wound

Chapter 401

* * *

 **Wound**

* * *

Wounds sometimes heal

Often leaving a scar

Something that is beautiful

Remains with a mar

* * *

Remember how the scar came

They can be on a wrist

Across and through a heart

Within a mind making it twist

* * *

Sometimes the wounds never heal

When we forget the lessons of life

Look at the scars and remember

Most did not come from a knife

* * *

The past is loaded with life's lessons

We must remember the damage

The next time around they will never heal

No matter how big or thick the bandage

* * *

LOOK at the scar

Before reopening the wound

Or in a never ending Hell

We may forever be marooned

* * *

When we play with fire

We are GOING to get burned

Damaging so many lives

When the scars forget what the wounds learned

* * *

 **Nobody**


	402. While You Were Gone

Chapter 402

* * *

 **While You Were Gone**

* * *

Many doors in life

Can open or close

Most are the results

Of things we chose

* * *

Sometimes we can act

Before we think it through

We can all bite off

More than we can chew

* * *

When you know what is in a heart

And you still choose to play

Your actions sum it up

Leaving little to say

* * *

You can hurt one very much

But not endlessly forever

When you seek them back

The answer is never

* * *

What would you feel

If I were to move on

It could have happened

While you were gone

* * *

 **Nobody**


	403. You've Been Distracted

Chapter 403

* * *

 **You've Been Distracted**

* * *

You know it is to you

That I have become attracted

But whenever I have added

It seems you have subtracted

* * *

It appears to me

The more I have reacted

That for some reason

The goal becomes protracted

* * *

As I have expanded

It seems you have contracted

The more I have expressed

The more you have redacted

* * *

The choices you make

On more than one are impacted

What was once clear

Has become abstracted

* * *

Look what you are doing

The way you have acted

You are making mistakes

You've been distracted

* * *

 **Nobody**


	404. I Thought You Should Know

Chapter 404

* * *

 **I Thought You Should Know**

* * *

There are many things we see

There are many things we feel

There are many things we hear

Leaving us to wonder what is real

* * *

What is usually presented

Is not a true representation

Often only a flirtation

Giving us false elation

* * *

Can we ever know someone

Or is it how the game is played

Everyone soon enough dismayed

A false charade conveyed

* * *

What once proudly was

Will soon dissipate

Love turns to hate

Now a burden to participate

* * *

You must know by now

The climb has reached a plateau

It is all down hill from here

I thought you should know

* * *

 **Nobody**


	405. That's Hard To Know

Chapter 405

* * *

 **That's Hard To Know**

* * *

A mighty steel ship can be

Crushed by an frozen ice floe

The same thing happens to people

If they don't go along with the flow

* * *

If you are different

Not part of the status quo

Upon ones own unique self

Ridicule they will soon bestow

* * *

Few care to look

To see ones inner rainbow

They would all rather see

Someone as a dark shadow

* * *

You can have the inner strength

Of a giant strong wild rhino

But none of it matters

If you are treated as guano

* * *

Being who you are

Is not something you outgrow

Can anyone really be someone different

That's hard to know

* * *

 **Nobody**


	406. It Seems Unlikely

Chapter 406

* * *

 **It Seems Unlikely**

* * *

Some things are meant to be

Other events unlikely to occur

What was once black and white

Has suddenly become a blur

* * *

It was known by both

Left to a matter of time

The path now a steep climb

Current events seem a like crime

* * *

The destination was a certainty

How does inevitability

In the blink of and eye

Turn to hopeless futility

* * *

I have been caught off guard

Overwhelmed with surprise

Joy turned to cries

As I prepare for the lies

* * *

What was preordained destiny

It seemed very likely

Now with what has happened

It seems unlikely

* * *

 **Nobody**


	407. This Is Your Fault

Chapter 407

* * *

 **This Is Your Fault**

* * *

It spreads like and infection

Through the mind it goes viral

The upward lift turns

Into a downward spiral

* * *

What was once grand

Magnificent full of splendor

Becomes a shapeless mass

Run through life's blender

* * *

We grasp and we cling

There is nothing to grab

You can't adhere to emptiness

Only feel its endless stab

* * *

Rejecting what is before you

Leaving me befuddled

I try to make sense of it all

My thoughts bunched and huddled

* * *

See what you have done

Look at the result

You broke my heart

This is your fault

* * *

 **Nobody**


	408. You Don't Belong Here

Chapter 408

* * *

 **You Don't Belong Here**

* * *

We know what is ours

It is preordained destiny

It is what is to be

It is a foregone legacy

* * *

Then we face a challenge

What could be ruder

We come face to face

With an outside intruder

* * *

The one that we want

Allows them to interlope

What are they thinking

They are acting like a dope

* * *

I know what is mine

I may have to attack

I will warn them once

They better watch their back

* * *

Are you listening to me

Why can't you hear

I will say it again

You don't belong here

* * *

 **Nobody**


	409. You're Unreliable

Chapter 409

* * *

 **You're Unreliable**

* * *

As sure as the sun rises in the east

And sets in the west

Two hearts were ready

The strong bond ready to test

* * *

Like a flash of lightning

With the roar of thunder

You invited another

Your heart open to plunder

* * *

Had my own words

Meant so very little

Our love that existed

Could not get me an acquittal

* * *

To the futures past

From the ends of the earth

Was not my record

Something that had worth

* * *

Two hearts were ready

That fact was undeniable

You're the one that chose another

You're unreliable

* * *

 **Nobody**


	410. I Don't Know What You Do

Chapter 410

* * *

 **I Don't Know What You Do**

* * *

You are who you are

A whole life to live

Try never to take

More than you give

* * *

You have the right

To choose your own path

Think before you continue

Cast not your wrath

* * *

Events may happen

Causing one to error

Things that may have happened

Were not done for terror

* * *

So now a different route

You have chosen to follow

Leaving another in misery

Hurt and pain to wallow

* * *

So in my weeping mind

I wish that I knew

I don't have a clue

I don't know what you do

* * *

 **Nobody**


	411. You Know I Didn't

Chapter 411

* * *

 **You Know I Didn't**

* * *

Sometimes we all error

And do something foolish

We only need worry

If it becomes ghoulish

* * *

Before our very eyes

We have what we want

Yet some are still driven

To continue the hunt

* * *

Does it not matter to you

Who you hurt

It seems that way

As you continue to flirt

* * *

I'm not to blame

For what you are doing

It is not me

That you are pursuing

* * *

To hurt you this way

You know I wouldn't

I don't even have to say it

You know I didn't

* * *

 **Nobody**


	412. What If I Did

Chapter 412

* * *

 **What If I Did**

* * *

I see you smirk

I see you smug

I am not the one

That you always hug

* * *

You don't know the pain

Of watching someone steal

The one that you love

The one who is ideal

* * *

You almost laugh

To you it is a joke

How can you not see

How my heart you have broke

* * *

Blame it on another

It was still your move

Did you care who you hurt

Whatever you wanted to prove

* * *

It would seem like a knife

As into your heart it was slid

Ask yourself how it would feel

What if I did

* * *

 **Nobody**


	413. It's Not Working

Chapter 413

* * *

 **It's Not Working**

* * *

Within the confines of my mind

What is done is done

It is impossible for me

To make the events undone

* * *

It is with myself

That I must live

You have turned my heart

Into a bloody sieve

* * *

Am I not still

Who I always was

I will be the same when tomorrow comes

As it always does

* * *

So my mind upon itself

Has begun to feed

It is trying to devour

What makes my heart bleed

* * *

I try to forget what you have done

In my mind it remains lurking

I have tried to forgive you

It's not working

* * *

 **Nobody**


	414. Believe Me

Chapter 414

* * *

 **Believe Me**

* * *

I have said the words

I said them to your face

Maybe my last words

Before my existence you erase

* * *

You wanted to believe them

But in the end you did not

It was a lesson learned

Not one that was taught

* * *

I was having trouble

My actions mistaken

When you had a choice

I was the one forsaken

* * *

I seem to lose more

Than I ever gain

Only pain as I am slain

Yet I still remain

* * *

I know it is to ask a lot

To believe in me

Please at least

Believe me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	415. It Was The Plan

Chapter 415

* * *

 **It Was The Plan**

* * *

Is there destiny

Or such a thing as fate

Can they be canceled

When replaced by hate

* * *

Some things we work for

Others we take for granted

It can all fall apart real fast

When other seeds are planted

* * *

Then out of nowhere

There comes and intruder

An unwanted interloper

What could possibly be ruder

* * *

So what was to be

Is suddenly not to be

What should have been us

Is no longer you and me

* * *

It was suppose to be me

Before away from me you ran

I was to be your mate

It was the plan

* * *

 **Nobody**


	416. The Plan Changed

Chapter 416

* * *

 **The Plan Changed**

* * *

Even the best laid plans

Seldom seen to come to fruition

What was once a clear path

Is now divided by a partition

* * *

You were being directed

In a safe and secure direction

Everything was looking very good

For the future and your best protection

* * *

Suddenly between us

A wedge was smugly driven

Events soon out of control occurred

Which will never be forgiven

* * *

Once the train

Was off the tracks

It leaves everyone open

To an onslaught of attacks

* * *

Everything was set in motion

It was already prearranged

Then you became estranged

The plan changed

* * *

 **Nobody**


	417. That's What I Did

Chapter 417

* * *

 **That's What I Did**

* * *

I said what I meant

You had a choice

It seems that you chose

To ignore my voice

* * *

When there was an error

It was not my fault

Did not my actions

End further assault

* * *

I was still there

Ashamed of my error

Into the arms of another

You wanted instead to share

* * *

Stab my mind

Cut deeply into my heart

Did you even care

What you tore apart

* * *

It was you who turned to another

Away from my damaged self you hid

I reached out to you multiple times

That's what I did

* * *

 **Nobody**


	418. All Of The Day

Chapter 418

* * *

 **All Of The Day**

* * *

From deep within inside you

You can feel it in your heart

As the sensation expands

You might split apart

* * *

The feelings rush in

The emotions overflow

They must be returned

Before elsewhere they go

* * *

Open your closed eyes

Take a quick look around

That whisper you feel

Is more than just sound

* * *

More and more and more

You slowly become possessed

You have found true love

With the one you are obsessed

* * *

You know it exists

It is more than just say

You experience it

All of the day

* * *

 **Nobody**


	419. All Of The Night

Chapter 419

* * *

 **All Of The Night**

* * *

Like some kind of drug

It seems to feed the hunt

The more that you get

The more that you want

* * *

Some can want more

Than they already have

They end up with less

As their love they halve

* * *

You know what is there

You need not seek any further

Be weary of what you do

Before a heart you murder

* * *

Do what is right

You know it is true

There is only but one

Who truly loves you

* * *

The search has ended

It has become finite

You have found the one to spend

All of the night

* * *

 **Nobody**


	420. Condescend

Chapter 420

* * *

 **Condescend**

* * *

I seem to have a way

When a message I send

To upset some with words

That I have spoken or penned

* * *

When I seek to communicate

I am not trying to offend

To try to be someone different

I would have to pretend

* * *

Others have beliefs

With which I must contend

However my own beliefs

I will always justify and defend

* * *

I will do what I can

To patch, fix or amend

For events that occur

Causing problems I did not intend

* * *

If I had more

Would there be less to spend

Life is but a blurry fog

Each moment harder to comprehend

* * *

Whatever I seek

I can not apprehend

Everything with a start

Will surely have an end

* * *

Others look up

A route to ascend

The only path for me

Into darkness will descend

* * *

There is only myself

On which I need depend

As time endlessly ticks on

Nobody is my friend

* * *

 **Nobody**


	421. You Shouldn't Be Alone

Chapter 421

* * *

 **You Shouldn't Be Alone**

* * *

To look at ones side

And to find no one

There is a void

It is no fun

* * *

To reach out

To want to share

It can sting so much

When one tries to dare

* * *

Some receive more

Than the rest

Isn't it all

Some kind of test

* * *

I know my place

For you have passed me by

I hate what you are doing

Yet for you I would still die

* * *

Emptiness belongs to those

Who have sins for which to atone

That is not you

You shouldn't be alone

* * *

 **Nobody**


	422. We're All A Threat

Chapter 422

* * *

 **We're All A Threat**

* * *

We know where we are

We know where we need to go

The destination is the same

Whether we go fast or slow

* * *

There are few to lead

But many to follow

One can rise up

Or continue to wallow

* * *

What do we have

When there is nothing to lose

Time to make a decision

Many choices from which to choose

* * *

This is what you've got

So look all around

You are still free

You are not yet bound

* * *

A guide into the future

Should be an asset

Instead it seems

We're all a threat

* * *

 **Nobody**


	423. I'm Sorry For Your Loss

Chapter 423

* * *

 **I'm Sorry For Your Loss**

* * *

We know what we would like

Some things never can seem to be

That is how I now feel

With the direction of you and me

* * *

I know I can not have

What I so desperately want

I have already said everything

I have been frank and blunt

* * *

What the future could have been

We will never know

The future became the past

It didn't happen slow

* * *

I do understand

What was the appeal

If you have a choice

You want what is real

* * *

I have always

Carried your cross

I do understand

I'm sorry for your loss

* * *

 **Nobody**


	424. It Seems She Never Told You

Chapter 424

* * *

 **It Seems She Never Told You**

* * *

It is better to have loved and lost

Than to never have loved at all

Whoever thought or said that

Has never taken true loves fall

* * *

It may be possible

To love more than once

But there is only ever one true love

To think otherwise takes a dunce

* * *

To watch and feel true love

Slowly slip from your grasp

You cling, you hope and gasp

Soon there is nothing to clasp

* * *

What makes it worse is when

It happens before your very eyes

They can see the damage done

Feeling but ignoring your cries

* * *

Then when it happens to them

You can say that you knew

A lot of things

It seems she never told you

* * *

 **Nobody**


	425. A Lot Of Things

Chapter 425

* * *

 **A Lot Of Things**

* * *

How the mighty have fallen

Wake up, look all around

Who was the one, suddenly found

Who is the one now, blindly bound

* * *

No one comes from nowhere

They just showed up here

At the right moment

They suddenly appear

* * *

It does not do any good

To tell you something is not right

You will brush me off

We will argue and fight

* * *

Now I must watch

As you throw it all away

Nothing will stop you

No matter what I do or say

* * *

You are caught in her web

As she pulls your strings

It seems she never told you

A lot of things

* * *

 **Nobody**


	426. It Has Before

Chapter 426

* * *

 **It Has Before**

* * *

What is now in my mind

I can not escape

I was always here

Waiting for you to undrape

* * *

I have done little

To stand in your way

I have to watch and listen

To the things you do and say

* * *

Do you know what

It does to me inside

You have taken my honor

My esteem and pride

* * *

Yet I must remain

Taking each stab and blow

How you have hurt me though

Honestly I don't know

* * *

You sought the arms of another

You had everything but wanted more

You say it won't happen again

It has before

* * *

 **Nobody**


	427. You Lied To Me Once Before

Chapter 427

* * *

 **You Lied To Me Once Before**

* * *

I may be here

It was not my choice

I wanted to stay elsewhere

Nobody heard my voice

* * *

I do what I am supposed to do

I guess it's my job

But all else that happens

My dignity it does rob

* * *

I may have faltered

Was it my fault

Now for that mishap

In my face you rub the result

* * *

I still remain

We both know why

To keep pretending otherwise

Is just another lie

* * *

I am still here

I don't know what for

It will probably happen again

You lied to me once before

* * *

 **Nobody**


	428. I'm Not Going To Let You

Chapter 428

* * *

 **I'm Not Going To Let You**

* * *

Many things to me have been said

Nobody knows how they can hurt

Nobody understands my feelings

I am treated very rude and curt

* * *

I may know a lot of things

I lack experience in others

I want to learn and understand

If I am given my druthers

* * *

Someone may be different

Not everyone is the same

That is no reason to blame

Or make them feel any shame

* * *

When someone reaches out

Don't be so quick to bite

They are who they are

Try not to treat them contrite

* * *

Only those who you really love

Can ever truly hurt you

You are never going to do that again

I'm not going to let you

* * *

 **Nobody**


	429. You Should Know That By Now

Chapter 429

* * *

 **You Should Know That By Now**

* * *

Many days come

Many days go

Some go by faster

Some go by slow

* * *

It is what we do

With each passing day

How we act and behave

What we do and say

* * *

We can feel love

We can feel hate

One is not good

The other is great

* * *

We may not know

Who they really are

One thing for sure

You better check the radar

* * *

I say what I mean

Even make a vow

I mean what I say

You should know that by now

* * *

 **Nobody**


	430. You Can't See Them

Chapter 430

* * *

 **You Can't See Them**

* * *

You can't see them

If you look around

Words that speak

Without a sound

* * *

It seems to be

The scars that hurt the most

You can't see them

As a heart they roast

* * *

You can't see them

Because it is what you all choose

You pick who will win

You pick who will lose

* * *

Standing before you

You see what you want

You can't see them

Words to me that affront

* * *

You are as blind as the rest

From where all my troubles stem

They surround me daily

You can't see them

* * *

 **Nobody**


	431. I Won't Ask You Again

Chapter 431

* * *

 **I Won't Ask You Again**

* * *

When down is not up

And up is down

What once was a smile

Soon becomes a frown

* * *

Few things in life

Turn out to be easy

Some make me queasy

Some are very sleazy

* * *

I know I am not

What you first thought

More than you can ever learn

I have already forgot

* * *

I am here to claim

What is rightfully mine

It matters not if it takes

Until the end of time

* * *

I have made it very clear

From when this all begin

If you reject me for them

I won't ask you again

* * *

 **Nobody**


	432. You Know That's Impossible

Chapter 432

* * *

 **You Know That's Impossible**

* * *

Life has many paths to follow

Some things we take for granted

We think everything is set forever

Our flag we surely have planted

* * *

One to another may be a surprise

That each is still their own

It does not take much damage

For everything to be quickly blown

* * *

Before each may act

They had better think twice

What about the about the other

Maybe think it through thrice

* * *

Everyone knows what the are doing

They think they'll never get caught

To stab the heart of another

Is a lesson never ever forgot

* * *

The future was still bright

Many things were yet possible

To undo what you have done

You know that's impossible

* * *

 **Nobody**


	433. You Said It Yourself

Chapter 433

* * *

 **You Said It Yourself**

* * *

What is love

Is it even real

Is it what we think

Or is it what we feel

* * *

When two are together

Is love what we take

Can our hearts create

Or is love what we make

* * *

We know love exists

Even if it is quite quizzical

Is love more emotional

Than it is physical

* * *

When two others are in play

It then becomes a choice

Can you reach beyond the touchable

And hear loves real voice

* * *

I was there listening

I heard it from your very self

"Are you kidding."

You said it yourself

* * *

 **Nobody**


	434. You Need To Understand

Chapter 434

* * *

 **You Need To Understand**

* * *

Some see only black

Some see only white

Most is really shades of gray

Often dull and seldom bright

* * *

Some take a fixed position

Trying to make a statement

That un-flexible attitude

Leads to chaos and abatement

* * *

Everyone works better

When they work together

Having clear open skies

Is better than cloudy weather

* * *

It is better to know the truth

To know where one stands

Sometimes it is better to listen

Than shout and yell commands

* * *

Everyone can see things differently

What happens isn't always planned

That's how it works

You need to understand

* * *

 **Nobody**


	435. How It Works

Chapter 435

* * *

 **How It Works**

* * *

Is life so very confusing

That so few understand its complexity

Seeming to leave them mired

In a deep state of perpetual perplexity

* * *

Nothing it ever seems

Is ever written in stone

Except the dreaded state

Of being eternally alone

* * *

When someone reaches out

It is an act of true inner courage

Instead we tend to discourage

It is something we should encourage

* * *

It seems few actually listen

Even though all can hear

It is hard to show compassion

It is easier to snicker and sneer

* * *

You don't need be a philosopher

But don't act like jerks

You need to understand

How it works

* * *

 **Nobody**


	436. What Was There

Chapter 436

* * *

 **What Was There**

* * *

We think things will be

As they have always been

Change is continually happening

Most of it is from deep within

* * *

Sometimes we can see

The direction things are headed

Those we began to fear

The thoughts soon dreaded

* * *

Then there are the surprises

They hit like a ton of bricks

How did we miss this

More of someone's dirty tricks

* * *

It always seems to be

When one finds another one

The one closest is the last to know

Then they are the one left with none

* * *

We have to ask ourselves

As everything we now beware

Was there really anything

What was there

* * *

 **Nobody**


	437. Is Still There

Chapter 437

* * *

 **Is Still There**

* * *

Two hearts may beat

Seldom at the same speed

One out of need

The other out of greed

* * *

The days may draw close

The nights will pass

One striving to surpass

The other only to trespass

* * *

If one only seeks

Another to use

Then it is inevitable

In the end one will lose

* * *

Think real hard

Why one still hangs on

Then you may realize

To each other you belong

* * *

Open your heart and eyes

One still wants to share

What was there

Is still there

* * *

 **Nobody**


	438. It'll Always Be There

Chapter 438

* * *

 **It'll Always Be There**

* * *

Like water in the ocean

Or a mountain of stone

Against all odds

I will stand alone

* * *

What is meant to be

Can never change

Coming form me

Is it really that strange

* * *

When a ship hits a rock

It is going to sink

When it comes to me

You know you need to rethink

* * *

I will take the blows

I will take the stabs

Hit me with your best shot

I can take all the jabs

* * *

The love you tried to ignore

The love I want to share

No matter what happens

It'll always be there

* * *

 **Nobody**


	439. I Might Some Day

Chapter 439

* * *

 **I Might Some Day**

* * *

Why are we supposed to forgive

If we can never forget

Because of what YOU did

I am supposed to acquit

* * *

So for what has been done

Shouldn't you be the one to atone

I was the one, who away was thrown

Maybe you should be all alone

* * *

How fast the eyes turn blind

The brain seems to switch off

When confronted with reality

You try to laugh it off and scoff

* * *

Let's reverse the rolls

How would YOU feel

Do you think your heart and mind

Would ever mend and heal

* * *

You want mercy from the heart

Of the one you so easily betray

I doubt it, but I'll think about it

I might some day

* * *

 **Nobody**


	440. I Need To Show You Something

Chapter 440

* * *

 **I Need To Show You Something**

* * *

I am trying to express myself

To me it is all very confusing

I feel I should be the one

Instead of who you are choosing

* * *

I know what I am feeling

It seems beyond my control

Is it not what we both seek

A way to make each of us whole

* * *

When I covertly touch you

I can feel what your response is

We both know the answer

Without taking a pop quiz

* * *

When you see me change

Because it is hot out

You really know what I'm asking

Neither of us need doubt

* * *

I must make you understand

That I am more than nothing

I will let you see and feel me

I need to show you something

* * *

 **Nobody**


	441. I'm Not One Hundred Percent

Chapter 441

* * *

 **I'm Not One Hundred Percent**

* * *

Into your lonely heart

I know I have made a dent

With my very being

Loves capitol I have spent

* * *

It is to you my sweet one

All my love I have sent

It is given freely

Not borrowed or lent

* * *

I have meant what I say

I say what I meant

It is as real as anything

Even if there is no scent

* * *

Nothing is meant to take away

Only your life to augment

The depth of my feeling

Is beyond the minds extent

* * *

I know the feelings of discord

How they can cause one to resent

To be sure you still want me

I'm not one hundred percent

* * *

 **Nobody**


	442. Rules Do Not Apply

Chapter 442

* * *

 **Rules Do Not Apply**

* * *

You wake up in the morning

Going about your merry way

Thinking seldom or very little

About what to do or say

* * *

Where is the moral standard

Your commitment to a good life

Isn't there more than just now

Maybe a future with a loving wife

* * *

So the going gets rough

The waves break over the bow

Can't you see beyond the now

And just someone new to plow

* * *

So it is my heart

That ends up on the grill

While you seek another

To try to get your fill

* * *

This is not a game we are playing

That is why you can't feel me cry

If it's not a contest to you

Rules do not apply

* * *

 **Nobody**


	443. Did You Change

Chapter 443

* * *

 **Did You Change**

* * *

I am as I always was

I like to be consistent

You have failed to notice

I have been quite persistent

* * *

The conditions were rough

But I have said the words

For all the good that did

I could have told the birds

* * *

I may bend and buckle

But I will not fold

Everything you needed to hear

You have already been told

* * *

Here we are now

To another you now cling

Danger to them you bring

Just for a chance at a fling

* * *

I am not the one

Looking for some - strange

I am still the same

Did you change

* * *

 **Nobody**


	444. It's Hot Out

Chapter 444

* * *

 **It's Hot Out**

* * *

Tomorrow is yet to be

Yesterday already was

It appears some seem to think

It matters not what one does

* * *

They say live in the moment

Experience life in the now

What is done is done

It doesn't matter anyhow

* * *

Never think twice

Don't ever look back

Someone else can clean up

For those knocked off the track

* * *

Full speed ahead like a ship

It matters not rocks or fog

Leave it to the fools

To drown in life's daily slog

* * *

Burning fire or cold as ice

You are filled with doubt

Let me clue you in

It's hot out

* * *

 **Nobody**


	445. I Feel Heat

Chapter 445

* * *

 **I Feel Heat**

* * *

What does one know

What does one feel

Is it imagination

Or is it real

* * *

We say it is our heart

But it is really in our head

When it all falls apart

Both get torn and shred

* * *

Maybe some things

Are best left unsaid

We may have been misled

Or simply have misread

* * *

Love is something

That is not really there

But from nowhere it can exist

For those who dare

* * *

Now with another

I must compete

While you feel cold

I feel heat

* * *

 **Nobody**


	446. You Bring Danger

Chapter 446

* * *

 **You Bring Danger**

* * *

We know what we want

But take what we get

Maybe only ourselves

Is who we outwit

* * *

Often what we want

Is beyond our reach

So a lesson in pain

To ourselves we teach

* * *

It seems to matter not

A failure now and then

Nothing is ever learned

We do it all over again

* * *

Be careful what you wish for

There is more to a persons being

There is always something deeper

Than what one is seeing

* * *

Maybe it was better

When you were a stranger

It now seems that

You bring danger

* * *

 **Nobody**


	447. Sometimes You Do Stupid Things

Chapter 447

* * *

 **Sometimes You Do Stupid Things**

* * *

I seem not to exist

Until there is something you want

Then I have to wait

For your next stunt

* * *

With things you do

You make me want to hide

Yet for your wishes

I still endure and abide

* * *

Your eyes can see

But your mind can not

Do I also not have

What from them you sought

* * *

No matter what you do

The cruel things you say

I am always still here

I have never gone away

* * *

I exist and remain

What you do stings

I think you now well know

Sometimes you do stupid things

* * *

 **Nobody**


	448. It Would Help Me

Chapter 448

* * *

 **It Would Help Me**

* * *

I may not have much

I will share what I've got

It is the quality that counts

Even if it is not a lot

* * *

A large pot of gold

Will likely never exist

At the end of the rainbow

There is a heart to untwist

* * *

Should not true love

Be counted as worth

Two become as one

Where our hearts berth

* * *

Please try to stop

Seemingly endless confusion

Let the love flow in

It'll give you a transfusion

* * *

When I reach out

It would be nice to see

You reach back

It would help me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	449. To Understand Why

Chapter 449

* * *

 **To Understand Why**

* * *

I try not to think of you

Because it always causes me pain

It re-shreds my bleeding heart

Filling me with such disdain

* * *

You were my everything

You have shoved me away far

You should no longer be the One

Yet you somehow always still are

* * *

I really don't comprehend

What else it is you seek

Have I not been available

Have I not let you peek

* * *

When lies become truth

And the truth becomes lies

Is that when it is over

Is that how it dies

* * *

Can you please tell me

So I won't need to cry

It would help me

To understand why

* * *

 **Nobody**


	450. You And I Talk About It

Chapter 450

* * *

 **You And I Talk About It  
**

* * *

I know many times

I have pulled a foolish stunt

I am not sure if it is because

I don't know what I really want

* * *

Sometimes we think we know

When we usually don't

We say we can't

And can't means won't

* * *

It seems that we run

When we should converse

It is almost as if

We live in our own universe

* * *

We move forward

We move back

We want to share

Instead each other we attack

* * *

We each speak of loneliness

Even feel like a misfit

What are we waiting for

You and I talk about it

* * *

 **Nobody**


	451. A Lot

Chapter 451

* * *

 **A Lot**

* * *

As through each day we struggle

Our paths can become confused

Needless blows to each other

Leaving each other bruised

* * *

So we play the game

Around each other we dance

What are we waiting for

It is time to take a chance

* * *

I know in my mind

When I see you I cringe

For it is my very heart

That you burn and singe

* * *

It is time to face the music

You already know my tune

The moment is now soon

As we make each other swoon

* * *

We already both know

What it is we have got

You and I talk about it

A lot

* * *

 **Nobody**


	452. We Do

Chapter 452

* * *

 **We Do**

* * *

When we reach life's crossroads

Of Nowhere and Dead End

What direction do we go

On who can we depend

* * *

It is only Me, Myself and I

That I can truly trust

It is easy to question everything

To believe in yourself is a must

* * *

Sometimes it's nice to have help

We may seek companionship

If one demands more than that

At what point does it become ownership

* * *

The question becomes

Can we give more than we take

Or will this whole thing

Turn into a big mistake

* * *

So here we are now

With a lot to think through

Will we talk about it

We do

* * *

 **Nobody**


	453. We Will

Chapter 453

* * *

 **We Will**

* * *

Sometimes we will

Sometimes we won't

Sometimes we do

Sometimes we don't

* * *

Round and round

We play the game

It seems the results

Always stay the same

* * *

We both know it's there

The words already said

You heard them spoken

As I begged and plead

* * *

It seems every swing

Is always a miss

Is it too much

To share a kiss

* * *

It is going to happen

We can both get our fill

We do

We will

* * *

 **Nobody**


	454. I Saw Everything

Chapter 454

* * *

 **I Saw Everything**

* * *

I have seen those around me

I know what they all do

I want to share those things too

With nobody but you

* * *

I am right here

Just my name's call away

You do it for more than play

While it is I who you slay

* * *

We all want more

Than what we have already

Everyone's true emotions

Can stagnate, flow or eddy

* * *

Make no mistake

It is my face you slap

Whose arms do your want

Around your back to wrap

* * *

Carbon chain C24

You cling to your fling

Lanolin and red dye number 27

I saw everything

* * *

 **Nobody**


	455. Maybe I'll See You Later

Chapter 455

* * *

 **Maybe I'll See You Later**

* * *

I've been looking at you

I see you see me

Is it me you really see

Or someone else you want it to be

* * *

When we look at one

What do we really see

Is it the outside shell

You can't see inside of me

* * *

Our eyes look for ones appearance

They can not see what is inside

Does it make who we really are

Easier to conceal and hide

* * *

So through life we go looking

Never knowing what we really see

Only the dull or shiny exterior

Never knowing who they could be

* * *

You don't know what you see

If they are a friend or traitor

Here we are playing the game

Maybe I'll see you later

* * *

 **Nobody**


	456. I Haven't Seen You Around Here Before

Chapter 456

* * *

 **I Haven't Seen You Around Here Before**

* * *

I see the many faces of everyone

Like ants they come and go

Everyone seems more than willing

To change the status quo

* * *

Whatever you have before you

Soon seems not what you want

You reopen your sore heart

Once again begin the hunt

* * *

How is what once was

Everything you dreamed for

Now 'not good enough'

Someone to hurt and ignore

* * *

So what was once new

Is now old news

There are many to select

Which one will you choose

* * *

So one can turn off their brain

Reopen their hearts door, search for more

Seeing someone new before them, thinking

I haven't seen you around here before

* * *

 **Nobody**


	457. Those Are The Kind

Chapter 457

* * *

 **Those Are The Kind**

* * *

What is love

You ask your very self

What is loving

You ponder within yourself

* * *

Where do these feeling come from

Where do they eventually go

Both seem to remain a mystery

In life's changing daily show

* * *

From out of nowhere they arrive

Your heart beats hard and fast

You feel loves feeling growing

Wanting more, hoping it will last

* * *

As you search your heart

Not knowing what you will find

You are flooded with emotions

Reality and fantasy now intertwined

* * *

You question what they are

In the depths of your mind

You find the feelings of love

Those are the kind

* * *

 **Nobody**


	458. It Wasn't My Fault

Chapter 458

* * *

 **It Wasn't My Fault**

* * *

Many things can happen

They can happen fast

For the rest of your life

A shadow they cast

* * *

We can point fingers

Assign guilt and blame

Rub a face in the mud

Make one feel shame

* * *

One can remain

High and mighty

Maybe even feel

Like the almighty

* * *

So think real hard before

The first stone is cast

Make sure the house

Is not made from glass

* * *

It is like taking a wound

And rubbing in salt

You were there

It wasn't my fault

* * *

 **Nobody**


	459. I Know The Rules

Chapter 459

* * *

 **I Know The Rules**

* * *

Who sets the regulation

For suppressive boundaries

Strangling our expanding love

That limit our hearts foundries

* * *

Should not love be determined

By those it actually involves

For it is in each others orbit

That their life now revolves

* * *

As love grows, there are those

That their love they protect

Challenging all who interlope

All attacks they deflect

* * *

So before it is once again said that

We don't know what we're doing

Those that are in love

Know who each is pursuing

* * *

Restrictive self imposed limitations

Are only for mindless uncaring fools

I won't take more than what's mine

I know the rules

* * *

 **Nobody**


	460. Flawed Beauty

Chapter 460

* * *

 **Flawed Beauty**

* * *

Is there in truth no beauty

Is there anything that is perfect

Everything can be marred or flawed

There is always a hidden defect

* * *

Is there in beauty no truth

What is wrong and what is correct

Everything the same is seen differently

Do we accept or do we reject

* * *

In truth there is no beauty

Look around, what do we collect

Is everything only an illusion

Can we cure or do we infect

* * *

In beauty there is no truth

What do we shun or protect

Do we seek to share or only take

What is left after we dissect

* * *

In beauty or truth

What do we reflect

Is it real or imagined

Do we deject or respect

* * *

Flawed Beauty is the truth

Nothing is what we expect

The mind will twist and conflict

Truth in the end, beauty will select

* * *

 **Nobody**


	461. We Don't Know

Chapter 461

* * *

 **We Don't Know**

* * *

Of what can we be sure

What remains a mystery

Do we move ahead

Or end up as history

* * *

The search is within

The heart, soul and mind

Do we remain blind

Or have the stars aligned

* * *

We each have a part to play

In life's daily struggle

Much can happen to one

There are many things to juggle

* * *

Yesterday is done and finished

Leaving us with now, today

Can we stay on the path

Or by others be led astray

* * *

Life is but a stage

We are part of the show

What tomorrow will bring

We don't know

* * *

 **Nobody**


	462. They'd Have Found You Anyway

Chapter 462

* * *

 **They'd Have Found You Anyway**

* * *

You can't dodge your actions

There is nowhere you can hide

It is time to face the sour music

Take the ridicule and feel the chide

* * *

Every wrong action seems to have

An even more powerful negative reaction

It can become a fatal attraction

The distraction becomes an abstraction

* * *

One may often hunger

Reaching for the forbidden fruit

What was once a straight line

Is now bent and acute

* * *

You may dodge them for now

You will have to face them later

Your troubles are here to stay

You are now no more than a traitor

* * *

You can't run from your problems

No matter what you do or say

I am confronting you with them now

They'd have found you anyway

* * *

 **Nobody**


	463. They Always Do

Chapter 463

* * *

 **They Always Do**

* * *

There are many things

That one will want or think

They can tempt one deeply

Take one to the brink

* * *

One will grow weary, even hunger

Is it need, greed or lust

They will lie to the one they love

Lying is stealing ones trust

* * *

Why does it always happen

To the one they love so true

Tearing apart their very lives

Leaving broken hearts askew

* * *

Such is the bumpy journey

Of everyone's daily drudge life

It would be much kinder and quicker

If the other just used a knife

* * *

They think they can get away with it

They do what is beyond taboo

They will get caught in the end

They always do

* * *

 **Nobody**


	464. Why Are You Doing This

Chapter 464

* * *

 **Why Are You Doing This**

* * *

It is easy to stab

When you don't feel the pain

A vision is created

Within one's brain

* * *

From the beginning

The theme has been the same

Those who have sinned

Will face their shame

* * *

They won't get a pass

Because of _how_ it was done

The chances anything will change

Are zero to none

* * *

Things from the heart

Are about creativity

They don't need to be challenged

With any form of negativity

* * *

One can face reality

Or exist in a fantasy

The evidence is crystal clear

Watch it ALL again and see

* * *

I don't understand the attacks

When others have gone much deeper

Why are you doing this

I wanted YOU as a keeper

* * *

 **Nobody**


	465. One On One

Chapter 465

* * *

 **One On One**

* * *

When a creature is bitten

It is going to bite back

That is the way of nature

To defend against an attack

* * *

The words come easy

When I must fly through flak

When the rainbow of life

Is turned into black

* * *

I am trying to do more

Than the SAME as others yak

It is not right to try

Another's dreams to hijack

* * *

I don't need to be treated

Like a mindless hack

Unless you really think

I am an insane quack

* * *

Please have the decency

Before you snipe or smack

Face me here alone - one on one

Or PLEASE cut me some slack

* * *

 **Nobody**


	466. World Of Darkness

Chapter 466

* * *

 **World Of Darkness**

* * *

From the world of Darkness

I have tried to reach out

I don't want to scream

I don't want to shout

* * *

Our dreams should be encouraged

The seeds should be allowed to sprout

When one is needlessly challenged

They become plagued with doubt

* * *

One will wonder, what is the point

What is all this for or about

I wanted to do more

Than repeat or spout

* * *

Something from the heart

Should not be treated with flout

Must I wear a muzzle

Upon my vision's snout

* * *

I am unable to continue forward

In my mind you have created a drought

MY story is – dead

I crawl away to pout

* * *

 **Nobody**


	467. Darkness And Cold

Chapter 467

* * *

 **Darkness And Cold**

* * *

It should be clear by now

That I don't sleep

That only increases

The time I can weep

* * *

What I am doing

Should not end up in a heap

For such hard work and effort

It should be some encouragement I reap

* * *

The expenditure of time

Does not come cheap

I wanted my thoughts

To sing instead of cheep

* * *

Out from my heart

The life and blood seep

I try and use words

That no one need bleep

* * *

It is from treatment like this

That my poems ebb and creep

Into my world of darkness and cold

I have given you a peep

* * *

 **Nobody**


	468. Flaming Downward Spiral

Chapter 468

* * *

 **Flaming Downward Spiral**

* * *

These are more than just words

That appear before ones eyes

They are pieces of my soul

Nobody can hear my painful cries

* * *

I can honestly say

It has ALWAYS been that way

'Not good enough'

Is all I have heard them bray

* * *

From where I exist

There is nothing new to learn

This is what it looks like

To watch someone crash and burn

* * *

It is happening again

As the thoughts compound

The pain only goes away

When one is put in the ground

* * *

I wanted my thoughts

To be enjoyed and go viral

Now I am once again trapped

In a flaming downward spiral

* * *

 **Nobody**


	469. I Really Don't Know Why

Chapter 469

* * *

 **I Really Don't Know Why**

* * *

The words keep coming

I can't make them stop

Why can't it end

Why can't I drop

* * *

Through life's daily slog

I now speak like Underdog

Blinded by light that is night

Yet trapped in a fog

* * *

This is where they come from

This is how the words flow

The hope and joy that was within

Has again lost its glow

* * *

With each new word

I fall deeper and deeper

There is no way out

The path grows slippery and steeper

* * *

I keep getting upset

As each second goes by

People only understand pain

I really don't know why

* * *

 **Nobody**


	470. Back At School

Chapter 470

* * *

 **Back At School**

* * *

There are many places

Where one can learn

We can draw one closer

While another one we spurn

* * *

There are many things

Upon ourselves we can educate

Lifting some up higher

While others we berate

* * *

It should be our very selves

That we wish to inform

Not leaving one torn

Feeling hopeless and forlorn

* * *

It is possible for one to another

To instruct, enlighten and teach

The insightful sermon better apply

To one as well as to those that they preach

* * *

Maybe they all think

Nobody is a fool

One best elucidate themself

Back at school

* * *

 **Nobody**


	471. You Apologized

Chapter 471

* * *

 **You Apologized**

* * *

When something is done wrong

It is identified and recognized

If not corrected and rectified

One will be soon despised

* * *

The events that occurred

Can be dissected and analyzed

Fixing what was done

Does not leave one compromised

* * *

There is no need or good

Leaving two people polarized

Making one feel 'Not Good Enough'

Like Nobody or disenfranchised

* * *

To the one who created the situation

It would be best advised

That everyone get on the same page

And everything will be harmonized

* * *

Knowing who you have become

I was more than surprised

For lying to me

You apologized

* * *

 **Nobody**


	472. For Lying To Me

Chapter 472

* * *

 **For Lying To Me**

* * *

What is truth

What is a lie

When is a lie

Not really a lie

* * *

We may speak half truths

Or lie by omission

Or tell a good lie

To avoid contrition

* * *

So is to lie

Always something bad

Or can it sometimes

Keep another from being sad

* * *

It has been said

Lying is worse than stealing

The trust is gone

Leaving an empty feeling

* * *

I already knew the truth

You soon came clean I see

You apologized

For lying to me

* * *

 **Nobody**


	473. So I Should Apologize

Chapter 473

* * *

 **So I Should Apologize**

* * *

In every relationship

There are many highs

There are even more lows

Some issues will even polarize

* * *

On some of life's choices

We must all compromise

What was once written in stone

We can evolve and revise

* * *

Sure we all can ridicule

Demean, insult and chastise

That will only speed

The relationships demise

* * *

There is always something to hide

It should never come as a surprise

That everyone one can wear

Some type of inner disguise

* * *

If I want to feel comfortable

Keeping secrets is not wise

For lying to you

So I should apologize

* * *

 **Nobody**


	474. For Lying To You

Chapter 474

* * *

 **For Lying To You**

* * *

In a house built of glass

I cast not the first stone

For I can honestly confess

I have sins for which I must atone

* * *

When the future is really the past

Is what will be still yet to be

Nothing is written in stone

A giant becomes a flea

* * *

There comes a time for honesty

Should that be everyday

Can Nobody not lie

I can't really say

* * *

Nobody is perfect

I think we can all agree

We are all guilty I can decree

It is more a matter of scope or degree

* * *

I have lied about important things

We both know that to be true

So I should apologize

For lying to you

* * *

 **Nobody**


	475. We Need To Go

Chapter 475

* * *

 **We Need To Go**

* * *

There are many directions

For one to choose from

Some may be easier

Others harder to overcome

* * *

Even if we know the future

The path is not clearly marked

We may think we are moving

When we are really parked

* * *

Is not the future

The past in a but second

Things seldom seem to happen

As we have planned or reckoned

* * *

I really don't know

I really don't care

As long as we have each other

Our lives to grow and share

* * *

Nothing is written in stone

That by now you know

You tell me where

We need to go

* * *

 **Nobody**


	476. Where Are We Going

Chapter 476

* * *

 **Where Are We Going**

* * *

I am filled with remorse

Aren't you plagued with guilt

As around us burns

The love we have built

* * *

For things we have not done

I am filled with regret

Before we have learned

We already must forget

* * *

I am flooded with sorrow

As love's ship slowly sinks

The person you have become

Really sucks and stinks

* * *

It is more than a tragedy

Causing me great anguish

How with love in our grasp

The willingly let it languish

* * *

As I step on the gas

You are the one slowing

Do you even care anymore

Where are we going

* * *

 **Nobody**


	477. I'll Show You

Chapter 477

* * *

 **I'll Show You**

* * *

One day something is important

The next day it is not

Is there really any meaning

To all the things one has got

* * *

I don't think it is just me

Or the many things I don't understand

It seems those who surround me

Have their head stuck in the sand

* * *

I know what it is I am supposed to do

That now causes me much confusion

There is more to see as I know you

Turning known realities into a delusion

* * *

I am right in front of you

I preen before your very eyes

Open your heart and mind

Stop believing your own lies

* * *

I have more than one function

As I watch another that you pursue

I have everything they do

I'll show you

* * *

 **Nobody**


	478. I'll Know

Chapter 478

* * *

 **I'll Know**

* * *

If I do something I shouldn't

And I don't let anything show

There is still someone who will know

I'll know

* * *

We can lie to ourselves

Pretend and make believe

Always in the end

Only ourselves we deceive

* * *

We can live with honor

Or be plagued with guilt

Destroying any trust or credibility

That may have been built

* * *

Greed, lust and lechery allow

Targets of opportunity to arise

Anyone can get hungry

First try to think what is wise

* * *

It is time to come clean

I know where you go

If you don't

I'll know

* * *

 **Nobody**


	479. If You Don't

Chapter 479

* * *

 **If You Don't**

* * *

Sometimes we say we will

And then we won't

Sometimes we say we do

And then we don't

* * *

Life is full of promises

Many are left unfulfilled

Fallacious, empty and hollow

Leaving a warm heart chilled

* * *

Who will say what they mean

Who will mean what they say

Are they not just worthless words

As meaningless as a donkeys bray

* * *

Do not ones actions

Speak louder than words

Or is it all noise and chatter

Fodder for the birds

* * *

I want the truth not lies

Don't say you won't

I'll know

If you don't

* * *

 **Nobody**


	480. Put Everything You Find

Chapter 480

* * *

 **Put Everything You Find**

* * *

We all seem to wait

For the stars to be aligned

All that ever produces

Is to keep or heart and soul confined

* * *

It is really happening in our head

Deep within our claustrophobic mind

Waiting endlessly for loves letter

Special delivered, sealed and signed

* * *

We wait with our head in the sand

From life we have resigned

Our own perceived shortcomings

Is how ourselves we have defined

* * *

Is not the sum of two greater

Than the sum of one when combined

Everyone already knows this

Yet we need ourselves remind

* * *

Look into life's smorgasbord

Your heart no longer need remain blind

On the table

Put everything you find

* * *

 **Nobody**


	481. On The Table

Chapter 481

* * *

 **On The Table**

* * *

When the time has come

To make loves decision

It is into your own heart

That you must make an incision

* * *

It may not be possible

With more than one to care

Is it fair to say

Only two can truly share

* * *

Everyday is a challenge

Many factors can come into play

Who do your keep

Who do you throw away

* * *

We think tomorrow will offer more

Maybe tomorrow never comes

Can you hear and feel the beat

Of true love's pounding drums

* * *

It is time to make a choice

Open your heart, if your are able

Put everything you find

On the table

* * *

 **Nobody**


	482. Deepest Sadness And Sorrow

Chapter 482

* * *

 **Deepest Sadness And Sorrow**

* * *

Every beginning

Must have an end

To think otherwise

We would have to pretend

* * *

There are no Human words

That can express true condolence

It brings down to Earth

Our own shaky relevance

* * *

Life forever must always repeat

These moments of sorrow

It is then from each other

Whose strength we can borrow

* * *

At times life seems

To be bulging with madness

There are times of joy

There are times of sadness

* * *

Never forget and eternally remember

There will always be a tomorrow

Friends and family remain during the

Deepest sadness and sorrow

* * *

 **Nobody**


	483. You Can't Bring Anything Through

Chapter 483

* * *

 **You Can't Bring Anything Through**

* * *

The feelings build

The emotions grow

We bottle them inside

Soon they overflow

* * *

The sentiments soon consume one

All the sensations need someplace to go

It is easier to hide them

In one who will never know

* * *

If we never tell them

They can not reject us

Try to push us away

Or shove us under the bus

* * *

We learn to run

We learn to hide

Never letting it escape

Our love we never confide

* * *

When you finally reach out

It happens like you always knew

To try to reach their heart and mind

You can't bring anything through

* * *

 **Nobody**


	484. When You Come

Chapter 484

* * *

 **When You Come**

* * *

My heart is now a lemon

It was once a ripe plum

It has been slowly shredded

Now nothing more than chum

* * *

I want to shout my feelings

Yet I cower and remain mum

Waiting for a scrap

Even the smallest crumb

* * *

It would be nice to sing

Or at least even hum

To feel inebriated with love

As if intoxicated with rum

* * *

My smile is sad

So I am looking glum

Know deep inside me

It is for you I beat the drum

* * *

When you break into a heart

That has been left cold and numb

You can't bring anything through

When you come

* * *

 **Nobody**


	485. Rocky

Chapter 485

* * *

 **Rocky**

* * *

Once there was nothing

Then there was

What made it happen

Or was it just because

* * *

Sometimes the tears will flow

Something causes pain

But it is really only happening

Within the confines of our brain

* * *

There are things that cause trauma

Making us feel sad

We all like a storybook ending

So we can feel glad

* * *

Many bad things can happen

Challenging our will to survive

If we can still bleed

That means we are still alive

* * *

When the road turns rocky

We can be overwhelmed with emotion

So we must be very careful

Where we send our devotion

* * *

 **Nobody**


	486. One Of Our Best

Chapter 486

* * *

 **One Of Our Best**

* * *

Is it really nothing more

Than beneath the breast and chest

Two hearts beating inside them

A journey in which to invest

* * *

Will the feelings that develop

Be something both can digest

Or will one run afoul

Soon the other egest

* * *

Maybe it will lead

To the construction of a nest

Or even worse still

One will become a pest

* * *

Will it be a shrinking path

Or magnificent and manifest

Maybe a shared future

The events will suggest

* * *

If life is a puzzle or quiz

Have we not passed the test

I think we both can say this was

One of our best

* * *

 **Nobody**


	487. Forget Me Not

Chapter 487

* * *

 **Forget Me Not**

* * *

Forget me

Forget me not

Life overshadows

It happens a lot

* * *

Maybe like a vampire

Who shuns the daylight

Causing pain and anguish

Leaving behind fright

* * *

There is no point to argue

Let alone fight

Words in my mind

I often recite

* * *

In the burning sun

Its radiance glows bright

My flesh is warmed

As my soul gets frostbite

* * *

If there is no wind

I must be a kite

Waiting for a gust

To take up flight

* * *

I'm like a shadow

A shadow at night

No matter how hard one looks

It remains out of sight

* * *

Feel the cold steel

Aim the red dot

Forget me

Forget me not

* * *

 **Nobody**


	488. No, Not Really

Chapter 488

* * *

 **No, Not Really**

* * *

Everything yet to happen

Remains only a guess

Is there more to have

If you can own or possess

* * *

We can take a gamble

Roll the dice

Never look back

Never think twice

* * *

When we take a chance

Reaching for the unknown

It's a pretty good bet

We could end up alone

* * *

So with great confusion

We see the other reach out

To a stranger no less

It fills us with doubt

* * *

I feel distant and unwanted

You have grown quit chilly

Do you think I understand this

No, not really

* * *

 **Nobody**


	489. We're Not Trapped

Chapter 489

* * *

 **We're Not Trapped**

* * *

Do we know what we have

If we can not accept what we feel

Allowing our emotions to anneal

Seeking someone more ideal

* * *

We both know the feelings

We know what they mean

What has happened is organic

It was never planned or foreseen

* * *

The only perceived obstacles

Exist with the depths of the mind

Surely you can tell and see

That love's stars have aligned

* * *

It is more than obvious

That something has risen

It may seem confining

Love is not a prison

* * *

It is with pure sweet love

That your heart has been wrapped

Love is our freedom

We're not trapped

* * *

 **Nobody**


	490. So We'd Always Have A Way

Chapter 490

* * *

 **So We'd Always Have A Way**

* * *

Is there really a tomorrow

If today is yesterday's tomorrow

Tomorrow never comes

Time we can never borrow

* * *

Each hour one after another

Will follow in an endless stream

The weight of the world crushes us

Nobody can feel us scream

* * *

Is there a way out

Or is there no escape

Whatever we seem to bend

We can never really reshape

* * *

If we change one thing

Do others things change as well

Are we better or worse

Is there any way to tell

* * *

We seek to find our true love

At the end of each day

To each other we must cling

So we'd always have a way

* * *

 **Nobody**


	491. Back Home

Chapter 491

* * *

 **Back Home**

* * *

You have reaped the rewards

Of the wild oats you have sown

Unconcerned of the pain and anguish

Into another heart you have sewn

* * *

Your ship blindly plods on

Into the waves it will crash

Be wary of the unseen iceberg

Your hull it can slash and gash

* * *

Go live in the moment

Forget about tomorrow

It appears not to matter

Whose pleasures you borrow

* * *

Yet I still cling to you

My feelings are true

I am still here waiting

Hating what you do

* * *

When you find yourself forgotten

Cold all alone nowhere to roam

Remember there is always

A way back home

* * *

 **Nobody**


	492. This Is The Way

Chapter 492

* * *

 **This Is The Way**

* * *

Do you know

Where you are going

What is the destination

Why are you crowing

* * *

Are you guided by the wind

With the direction it is blowing

Or carried by the water

Wherever it is flowing

* * *

The waterfall is coming

You had better start rowing

The hole in the sail

Needs a lot of sewing

* * *

Why are you going faster

When you should be slowing

You act without thinking

Without ever knowing

* * *

I am here to help and guide you

It appears you need some showing

This is the way

You can now start glowing

* * *

 **Nobody**


	493. We Know Where

Chapter 493

* * *

 **We Know Where**

* * *

This is my heart

You know it is there

You have decided

To take a dare

* * *

On what you are doing

We will never agree

Press the button

Please set me free

* * *

It is with me

You were suppose to share

I think it is time

Someone else beware

* * *

I wish I was blind

So I could not see

What you are doing

Right in front of me

* * *

Carbon chain C24

I see you don't care

Lanolin and red dye number 27

We Know Where

* * *

 **Nobody**


	494. We Know When

Chapter 494

* * *

 **We Know When**

* * *

You are in your bed

I am by your side

My head is on your pillow

There is nothing to hide

* * *

Where have we been

Where can we go

It is time to find out

Who don't think so

* * *

I can see your face

I know what you want

I am right here

You don't need to hunt

* * *

I know you are ready

I have seen it before

It is why I am here now

I have come back for more

* * *

It may have happened already

Maybe it will happen again

I think it is safe to guess

We know when

* * *

 **Nobody**


	495. Stagnation Of The Mind

Chapter 110

* * *

 **Stagnation Of The Mind**

* * *

The mind searches itself

Unsure of what it will find

Will it collapse in on itself

Or will it rupture and unwind

* * *

If today is tomorrow's yesterday

Then yesterday was today's tomorrow

Will it bring joy and happiness

Or leave one to wallow in sorrow

* * *

One has a voice

With which they may speak

Will it be heard

Or only make a squeak

* * *

Open the door and look inside

Don't be afraid to knock

Is there a path to freedom

Or only another block

* * *

Break open the mind's lock

There are treasures to find

Push through the emptiness and

Stagnation of the mind

* * *

 **Nobody**


	496. Heart To Heart (Happy Valentine's Day)

Chapter 496

* * *

 **Heart To Heart**

* * *

Here we are

Heart to heart

Where will it go

Once we start

* * *

If we continue

Is that smart

Or will it only

Tear us apart

* * *

As life moves on

We all play a part

Will Cupid shoot an arrow

Or only throw a dart

* * *

Our love can abound

And go off the chart

Can we find the sweetness

While we avoid the tart

* * *

Chest to breast

With my sweetheart

Is love music

Or is love art

* * *

For you my love

Does beat my heart

Happy Valentine's Day

True love will always restart

* * *

 **Nobody**


	497. Defend

Chapter 497

* * *

 **Defend**

* * *

Where is the beginning

Where is the end

Is this not all

What we pretend

* * *

Into life's darkness

We sometimes descend

Where do our thoughts go

As we receive and send

* * *

There is only so much time

That we have to spend

We must be choosy

To what we attend

* * *

We may find those

Who an escape they will lend

As we crawl from the mire

Allowing us to ascend

* * *

Along the journey

Some may become a friend

As thoughts from the mind

Are created and penned

* * *

 **Nobody**


End file.
